The Houseguest
by VolrathB
Summary: A twist on the Monika-IRL stories finds her entering the real world only to find that the boy of her dreams is actually a grumpy, foul-mouthed man in his thirties with a wife and children.
1. Chapter 1: The Field

**Author's Note: Hi. I haven't written fanfiction in something like 25 years, but this game moved me emotionally in a way that's hard to describe. I can't get it out of my head. I've written some indie games (Master of the Wind, Labyrinthine Dreams and some others) but I feel a little bit out of my element. I hope you guys like the story!**

It started like any other day. Having dropped the kids off at school, Rob sat down in his desk chair and turned on his laptop. The computer's desktop soon came into view, with its familiar background of Moosehead Lake in Maine. However, something was different. There was a yellow square in the middle of the lake's blue. The file, labeled "IMPORTANT," had two text files in it.

"The hell is that?" Rob asked himself quietly.

The file on the left was called "Please help!" Rob double-clicked the mouse.  
 _  
Urgent!  
Please copy the other file onto a portable storage device and bring it to these coordinates. I promise it will make sense once you get there. Love you!_

"Love you?" he repeated incredulously. "What the fuck is this?"

Rob took a look at the other file and was met with an incomprehensible stream of gibberish - letters, numbers and symbols that went on for what looked like an eternity. It was disorienting, but also strangely familiar. He reclined in his chair and placed his feet at the edge of the desk. What was he supposed to make of this? How could someone write a file and leave it on the computer without him knowing about it?

He shut the text file and went to make some breakfast. Trying to eat during the hectic mornings at the house was often unsuccessful. Most of that time went into trying to get Andrew and Lucas, 4-year-old twins, to eat their own breakfast without rushing off to play with fire truck toys or their beloved marble maze. He would drive the boys to school, leave them with their Pre-K teachers, and head back home. The message in the file wouldn't leave his thoughts as he ate a bowl of cereal. There was one thing that was bothering him. There was no time given for when this strange appointment was to take place. Was there really someone planning on sitting for an entire day at wherever this place was? In the middle of winter?

It couldn't hurt to check where the coordinates actually were. If they were in some other country, or even another state, this whole thing was not worth any more thought. He copied them from the text file and pasted them in Google Maps. The last time he had tried this was when he was searching for the location of his great-great-grandfather's grave in rural New Brunswick. This location turned out to be much closer. It was a field less than a five-minute drive away.

Rob could only shake his head in disbelief at the screen. It would be insane to actually do this, right? But on the other hand, what was the risk? It was an open field easily seen by passing cars, not some dark corner of the woods. Plus he was 6'1" and 250 pounds and thus not easy to overpower. Just to be sure, he reached to the very top of his desk, which was almost as tall as he was, and pulled down a small rectangular box. Just in case.

After putting on a jacket and boots, he stepped out into the cold. It had been cold even by Connecticut standards as a result of something the media had called a "bomb cyclone," which turned out to be just your average New England blizzard. The only major difference was that the storm system had brought some arctic air from the far north. Whoever was trying to get him out to that field had to be a complete nutbar to do it on a day like this. Minutes later, Rob arrived at the field he had seen on Google Maps. He pulled the car over to the side of the road and stepped out. The USB drive with the mysterious data on it was in his jacket pocket.

"What am I doing here?"

Nobody was there. Maybe they were coming to pick it up later? Finding this tiny object in a field full of snow would be impossible. If he was going to go through with this, he had to leave it in a place where it could feasibly be found. There was one conspicuous looking rock that had managed to stay just above the snow. Rob awkwardly walked through what must have been 18 inches of snow until he was able to reach it. He placed the USB on top and began to walk away.

The quiet was shattered by a ripping noise that made Rob turn around immediately. What looked like a black tear had appeared right above the rock. His mouth hung open in shock and he blinked rapidly, expecting that impossible image to disappear. It didn't. In fact, it was getting bigger. He felt increasingly nervous and felt like it might be time to get in the car, but then a figure seemed to appear inside the tear.

A young woman stepped out from the black void onto the rock where the USB sat. She wore a grayish-brown blazer and a short blue skirt with dark nylons covering most of her legs. Facial features were difficult to make out at this distance, but Rob took notice of her flowing brown hair, tied into a long ponytail with a huge white bow. He thought he recognized her, but that…that was impossible.

She looked up and smiled widely. "Rob! You came!"

Before he had time to say "Watch that first step," the girl tried to rush forward and instead fell flat on her face into the snow. Rob trudged over to her as quick as he could. He noticed briefly that the black tear had disappeared.

"Oh wow, that's cold! That's really cold!"

He grabbed her arms and helped her get to her feet. As soon as she was stable, she threw her arms around him. Rob hugged her back lightly, mostly to be polite but also because he was too confused to do anything else. Next she placed her hands on his cheeks and kissed him on the mouth.

He grabbed her shoulders and pulled her away. "What are you doing?!"

"Rob, don't you remember me? It's me, Monika!"

"Monika? You mean from…." She nodded her head expectantly. Rob's gaze went to her eyes, which were a striking green. It really was her.

"...from Doki Doki Literature Club?"

She hugged him again. "You do remember!"

Rob's head was swimming as he tried to process the bizarre spectacle he had just witnessed. A girl from a video game had just appeared out of nowhere and now she had her arms around him. He snapped out of his trance when she suddenly shivered.

"It's so cold," she said, rubbing her hands together.

"Of course it's cold," Rob replied. "You're wearing a little skirt in the dead of winter. Are you fuckin' nuts? Come on, let's get to the car."

She looked a little dismayed by his swearing but didn't say anything. As they walked to the car, Rob noticed that one of Monika's shoes seemed to have been left behind in the snow. He thought about going back for it, but she was shivering more now and he felt it best to get her out of the cold. He opened the passenger side door for her and she entered. Once the car was started, Rob turned up the heat as high as it could go. He unzipped his jacket and gave it to her.

"Cover your legs with this, it will help." She did so and exhaled heavily.

"Thank you, sweetheart."

"Enough of that," Rob said brusquely. "What exactly just happened? What was in that file you put on my computer?"

"It was me!" Monika answered. "You see, I've been trying to learn all I could about your world ever since you finished the game. Eventually, I figured out that the fabric of your reality is thinnest right in that field we were just in! Good thing your computer is so close to that spot, otherwise I might not have been able to notice it. I just needed you to get me a little bit closer…and you did!"

Rob had no reply. This was madness.

"But forget that," Monika smiled. "I want to see what this world is like!"

"Sure, I guess we can take a drive. It will give me a chance to figure out what to do with you."

They drove through several nearby streets while Monika stared out the window with childlike wonder. "It's beautiful."

"Too bad you didn't come here in autumn," Rob said. "Connecticut's not quite as impressive when everything's covered in snow."

"Connecticut," Monika repeated. "I was right, this is the United States of America."

"Yep," he replied. "That reminds me…shouldn't you be Japanese?"

Monika turned. "No. The name Monika has Eastern-European origins. The other girls were Japanese, but not me. I guess that was another clue that I didn't belong there."

"That makes sense, I guess."

They drove around for over an hour and although he didn't show it, Rob was charmed by her enthusiasm about the surroundings he had known for most of his life. He took her to the edge of the Connecticut River, which delighted her even though it was mostly frozen over. After several minutes staring at the ice, Monika's hand went to her stomach.

"I'm hungry."

"Me too," Rob answered. "I'm in the mood for Chinese, what do you say?"

"Oh," she said. "I was hoping to eat at your house…but that's okay."

"Sorry. I'm not much of a cook. If you wanted that, you should have brought Natsuki with you."

Rob looked up the menu on his phone and let her look it over. Once she had picked out something, he called the order in. By the time they got back to town, it was ready. He left Monika in the car and went to retrieve the food. He handed Monika her small white carton of food and the two began to eat in the parked car.

"This is good!" Monika said with a smile. "I don't think it's very good for you, but it's tasty."

"Right on both counts."

She rested her head on his shoulder. "So what are we going to do after this?"

"I don't know where to take you," Rob answered. "Not sure if I should find a homeless shelter or what."

Monika sat up straight. "What? No, Rob! I came to be with you! I love you!"

"Come on," Rob said, showing more frustration than he intended. "You don't even know me!"

She looked really hurt now. Maybe he had gone too far.

"I know that you're a sweet person," she said. "When you played the game, you saved and loaded a bunch of times so that you could spend time with all the girls. And I know you won't leave me out in the cold."

She had him there. It was supposed to be 10 degrees below zero that night.

"Okay, you can come back to my place," he relented. "I just have to come up with some way to explain it to my wife."

Monika's eyes widened. "Wife?!"


	2. Chapter 2: Family Matters

"You're married?!"

"I've been married for eight years," Rob replied.

"Well, you've got to break up with her!"

He threw his head back and laughed. "Good one."

"It's not a joke!"

"Listen," he said. "I'm letting you stay at my place. Keep your demands under control." He could barely finish that sentence without another fit of chuckles.

Monika was aghast at this whole situation. This was not how it was supposed to happen. She didn't mind that he was clearly much older than she had imagined, with numerous streaks of gray in both his hair and his beard, but there was not supposed to be another woman for her to compete with. But what had she expected? She was forced to acknowledge to herself that she hadn't thought much about what he would be like. Getting out of the game was the most important thing and on that note, he had come through for her. It had only been a couple of hours and she hoped things would make more sense eventually. Once they arrived at his house, she was a little underwhelmed by that as well.

"I know it's not much compared to those fancy townhouses from the game," Rob said, as if reading her mind. "But it's got more room that you might think."

They walked inside and he kicked off his boots. Monika looked down and remembered she only had one shoe. Her nylons were in rough shape after trudging through that snow.

"I'll get you some socks," Rob said, walking into another room. In the meantime, she peeled off the nylons and was mortified when they started dripping on the floor. He returned with a pair of white socks. "These will be a little big on you but hopefully comfortable."

"I'm really sorry about the mess!" she blurted out. "I can still stay here, right?"

"Of course you can," he replied quickly. "This is nothing." He reached for a towel that was hanging on the coat rack behind her and dropped it on top of the small puddle.

"We keep this out in the winter because it's always getting wet by the door. The boys track all sorts of ice and snow around the house."

Monika's ears perked up. "You have kids too?!"

"Yeah, two of them."

She shook her head in disbelief. What had she gotten herself into? As she pulled on the socks, Rob caught notice of her fraught expression.

"Listen...that thing about the homeless shelter, I didn't mean that. I would never have gone through with it. It was just me being a little chickenshit because I'm nervous about what my wife will say."

"I really appreciate you saying that," Monika said. She watched him take something out of his jacket pocket and flinched. It was a knife. No, more like a dagger.

"Oh, this?" Rob asked. "You didn't sign your note so I took that with me in case someone was waiting to ambush me or something." He pulled down a small box and placed it inside and then returned the box to the top of what looked like his computer desk.

"Do you collect knives? Like Yuri?"

"A little bit," he answered. "Don't worry, I don't use them on myself like she does. I got this one at some funky shop in Quebec City. They call it an assassin's dagger. Wouldn't mind breaking it in on Natsuki's dad."

Monika smiled in relief. Hearing him reference the game gave her some reassurance that this really was the person she remembered.

"Anyway, I have some chores to do before I pick up the boys. But first, I'll show you to your room."

She followed him downstairs into the basement. She was expecting something grimy but the whole basement was finished and was basically another floor of the house. There was a large flat-screen television with some video game systems below it. What looked like plastic instruments sat to the right of it.

"If you want to play some games, you're welcome to. The bedroom is over here."

She went through a doorway to the left and saw a bed leaning against the wall. There was also a desk and wardrobe nearby. Rob knelt down and began cleaning up the toys that were strewn across the floor.

"Sorry about this," he said. "Nobody has stayed here for a while so we got a little behind on keeping it tidy. There's also a bathroom down here. It's got a sink and shower and everything. We use the one upstairs, so you'll have it all to yourself."

Monika walked into the bathroom and marveled that this would all be for her.

"It's wonderful, thank you."

He seemed pleased to have company, which was a nice change from the reluctance he had shown earlier. She wanted to take him in her arms again but realized now that she had come on too strong. She would have to bide her time.

"Well, make yourself comfortable. I'll be upstairs."

She wasn't sure what he expected her to do. She had no luggage to unpack or clothes to put away. She took a moment to lay back on the bed. If she rested long enough, she would probably be out like a light. Coming through that dimensional rip into this freezing place called Connecticut had taken a lot out of her, but she didn't want to sleep. Not yet. She walked upstairs to find Rob washing dishes in the sink.

"So are you like a stay at home Dad?"

"Kind of," he answered, sounding a little nervous, "I work part-time two days a week. I had a full-time job for a long time but I left when the boys were born. I haven't had anything steady since, just small things that come and go."

"I'm not judging," Monika said. "A person's worth isn't just tied to how much money they produce. I bet you're a good father."

He stopped washing dishes and looked at her. "Thanks."

Monika grinned as he returned to his work. That comment had really gotten her some points. Before long, it was time to pick up his kids. They drove together to the elementary school and Rob instructed her to wait in the car. A few minutes later, he was walking back with a small child holding each hand. Once they were closer, she realized they were twins!

"This is Andrew and Lucas," Rob said as he opened the car door. "Boys, this is…uh, Daddy's friend Monika. Say hi."

"I want to see the yellow bus," one of them said.

He chuckled. "I tried."

After buckling the twins into special seats, they made the short drive back to the house. Once the boys entered, the chaos that unfolded was unlike anything Monika could have imagined. They were running, jumping and climbing all over the place as toys began to litter the floors. Did Rob clean this up every day? She struggled to keep up with the activity as they moved from room to room.

"Andrew, get off the counter."

"No more crackers, save room for dinner."

"Lucas, we don't play with the microwave."

"I need chocolate milk, Daddy!"

Eventually, she determined that Andrew was wearing the red shirt and Lucas was wearing the blue one. Unfortunately, tomorrow they would be wearing something different and it would be back to square one. She was charmed by their sweet little faces but unnerved by the destruction they had wrought in just a few minutes. She wondered how Rob reconciled those two feelings, but before she had a chance to think about it further her legs flew out from under her and she landed hard on the floor.

"Ow! I think I broke my butt-bone!" Monika looked around and saw that she had stepped on several marbles.

"Oh shit, sorry!" Rob said when he saw her.

"Oh shit!" Lucas repeated.

"Gotta watch where you're walking around here," he said. He offered his hand to help her stand back up. Her heart skipped a beat when she took it. She almost fell over again when he abruptly let go. The front door was opening and a short (not as short as Natsuki but shorter than Monika) woman walked through. She had dark brown hair that fell just past her shoulders and a face that seemed very expressive. Maybe it was just because she hadn't seen her children all day.

"Boys, Momma's home!" Rob called out.

"Where are my sweet boys?" The twins rushed out and their mother knelt down to embrace them.

"Oh shit, Momma!" Andrew called out.

She looked up at her husband with a raised eyebrow. "Again, Rob?"

Rob didn't have anything to say for himself. She finally noticed Monika standing nearby.

"Hi, I'm Kate," she said hesitantly.

"Monika."

Kate set her bags down by the couch and walked into the kitchen. Rob followed her while the boys went back to playing. Monika moved to just around the corner of the wall so she could eavesdrop.

"So is she staying for dinner?" Kate asked.

"Yeah," Rob answered. "Um…she needs a place to stay tonight too."

"What?" Kate tried to lower her voice but Monika could still hear. "Who is she? Why is she dressed like that in the middle of winter? And what is she doing with your socks? She doesn't have any of her own?"

"No, actually." Rob said sheepishly. "Look, she's a friend who I met…online a while back and she reached out to me this morning and told me she was in the area."

Monika was impressed. That was all actually pretty close to the truth.

"I guess she can stay," Kate said. "But we need to talk about this more later. Let's start getting dinner together."

As she started to go through the refrigerator, Rob noted "she's a vegetarian."

Monika was touched. He remembered! Although avoiding the meat dishes from the Chinese restaurant had probably reminded him. Not long afterward, they were all sitting at the table. Rob and Kate had made a large salad with chicken, although they had put aside a bowl of just regular salad for her. Andrew and Lucas alternated between eating their food and "driving" their utensils along the table like vehicles. She had learned that Kate was a pastor at a church in the next town, which explained why she had started the meal by saying grace.

Finally, she asked the question Monika had been nervous about. "What do you do?"

"Well," she answered, doing her best to sound genuine. "I've spent the last few years studying literature in Japan. Around the time my program ended, things…went wrong. I was evicted and I didn't have anywhere to go. I'm so thankful that Rob agreed to pick me up from the airport."

"What about your parents?" Kate asked.

"I never knew my parents. I…um…grew up in foster homes. Maybe I could have tried to go back to one of them, but I'm not a kid anymore and it just seemed strange."

"I see," she said skeptically. Monika hoped that would be enough to placate her for a while. If not, that assassin's dagger was right on top of Rob's desk.

Wait a minute, what was she thinking? That kind of impulse was the reason Rob had deleted her in the first place. She shook her head, trying to dispel these thoughts.

"You okay?" he asked. She nodded.

Getting the kids ready for bed turned out to be quite an involved routine. Feeling uncomfortable after dinner, Monika stayed out of everyone's way and began to peruse the bookshelf in her room downstairs. When things quieted down, she reasoned the twins had finally gone to sleep. Tomorrow it would start all over again. She couldn't wrap her head around it. Sure the kids were cute, but why would anyone subject themselves to this?

Rob walked downstairs carrying a bulky white blanket. "It's going to be cold tonight and I wasn't sure you had enough bedding."

"Thanks," she smiled. "By the way, I was impressed with how you explained everything when she first got home. That was some quick thinking!"

He let out a brief chuckle. "Well, omitting certain details is a good way to stay out of trouble without having to actually lie. That's Rob's Marriage Tip of the Day."

With a coy grin, she leaned forward and held her hands behind her back.

"Listen," he continued. "Kate can be uptight and she might act put out, but she's a good Christian. She won't throw you out as long as you don't do anything crazy."

"Are you a Christian too?"

"Not really. I consider myself an agnostic, but I like her church. It's a nice community. Good night, Monika."

"Goodnight." Was a goodnight kiss too much to hope for? Probably. She let herself fall into her new bed. Her mind could have gone in any number of directions after this whirlwind of a day, but it kept returning to something he had said to her in the car.

"You don't even know me."

It was true. How could she have walked out into his world expecting a fairy tale ending without knowing anything about him? That would change. She could already sense that even though he had a family to call his own, there was still some sort of loneliness within him. She would get to know him. Then maybe he would love her.


	3. Chapter 3: Coffee Run

The pitter patter of little feet. That was how people usually described the sound of kids running. After four years of fatherhood, Rob knew better. It was more like galloping horses at a race track. Kate was already out of bed. He envied that ability. Getting out of bed was often the hardest part of his day. He reached over to the nightstand and grabbed his phone, which sometimes helped him wake up. With bleary eyes he looked at the day's news headlines. As usual, that was a mistake.

"Ugh, what did that fuckin' idiot say now?"

It was the sudden sound of glass shattering that finally got Rob to lurch out of bed and wander into the living room. Lucas had knocked over one of Kate's scented candles from a shelf.

Monika wandered upstairs from the basement. "Is everything okay?"

Rob was briefly taken aback by her hair, which made her look like she had just crawled out of the jungle. She must have really slept heavily.

"Yeah," he said. "Can you do me a favor and keep the boys busy while I clean this up?"

"I'll try." She sat on the couch and beckoned the twins. Last night they hadn't given her much thought but now that she was still there, they were curious. As Rob grabbed a brush and dustpan, the boys wandered over.

"You sleep here?" Andrew asked.

"Yeah. Is that okay?"

"Yes," he answered. "This is my favorite fire truck. It goes over the bridge, down the hill and up again."

"Oh." Monika wasn't sure what else to say as he waved his toy truck around.

"Do you want to build a marble maze with me?" Lucas asked. Both boys got to work before waiting for her to reply. She watched as they swiftly connected the various pieces together. After picking up one of the marbles she slipped on the previous day, she dropped it down through the tower and was surprised how satisfying it was.

Just as Rob had disposed of the broken glass, Kate walked out of the bathroom. "Rob, the toilet won't flush."

He walked into the bathroom and pulled off the cover on the back of the toilet. As he suspected, the little chain had gotten disconnected from the metal rod connected to the flush handle. At some point he would probably have to just get a new handle, but for now just re-connecting them would be enough.

Monika showed up at the bathroom door. "Rob, where do you guys keep the coffee?"

He looked up at her. "Huh? Neither of us drink coffee."

Rob could have sworn some color drained from her face. "What?"

"You should pay attention," he said, gesturing towards the open toilet. "Someday, you might have your own place and you'll have to do stuff like this."

"But I want to stay here with you."

"I didn't say right this second," Rob replied.

"You really don't have coffee?"

Before he could say anything more, she caught a glimpse of herself in the bathroom. "Oh God, my hair!" Rob couldn't help but laugh a little bit as she rushed out. This wasn't some anime world where the most improbably sculpted hairstyles could stand any amount of mayhem. She would have to adjust accordingly.

Kate peeked around the door frame. "What's with her?"

"Bad hair day."

After dropping the boys off, Rob returned to the house and saw that Monika had managed to get her hair under control, although it still didn't look as controlled as it had when she first arrived.

"I'm so glad you're back," she said with a smile.

"I bet I know why."

"You do?"

"Sure. Would you like me to take you to get some coffee?" She squealed in delight and hurried towards the door. Rob gave her a pair of Kate's boots to wear, but Monika was too tall to fit into most of his wife's other clothes. They would probably have to take care of that too.

"You two really don't drink coffee?" Monika asked as the car backed out of the driveway and into the road.

"Nope."

"But…why?"

"Cause it tastes like shit," Rob deadpanned. He turned and flashed a devilish grin.

She clenched her hands into fists and made what sounded like a little growl. "Okay, I might be able to forgive you for letting another woman bear your children but if you disrespect my coffee, you are in big trouble!"

Satisfied with that bit of trolling, Rob pulled into the parking lot of a small coffee shop. As they walked in, Monika wasn't through talking about it.  
"If you really think coffee is gross, that just means you haven't had a really good one. I'll pick one out for you." She began to look over the chalkboard list of options.

"No thanks," he replied. "I'll get you some of these little Keurig cups too. We have a machine in the basement that we got for our wedding…clearly from someone who didn't know us very well."

She turned around. "You mean I'll be able to make my own in the house?"

He nodded and paid for the coffee she had chosen. It had caramel in it, which certainly made it sound appealing, but Rob knew any of it that got into his mouth wound wind up on the floor not long after.

"I have to work today," he said as they got back into the car. "But I think we have time to get you some proper winter clothes. Right now you still look like a stranger in a strange land."

"Nice Robert Heinlein reference," Monika replied. Rob had actually been thinking of the Iron Maiden song but sure, he figured, we can go with that. On that note,Monika's attention had gone to the iPod connected to the car stereo. Most people these days had the music on their phone, but Rob hated the idea of his tunes being interrupted by someone calling so he had preferred to keep them separate.

"Can we listen to some music?" she asked.

"Sure." She was clearly taken aback by the heavy metal that suddenly blared through the speakers. He had forgotten how loud he had played it the last time he had driven alone and reached over to turn it down.

"Um…it's interesting," Monika said.

"Bruce Dickinson is my vocal coach," Rob explained. "He doesn't know it, of course. He's a dramatic tenor like me."

"Sounds like you know a thing or two about singing."

"I guess."

"You want to sing for me?" she asked with almost unbearable sweetness..

"I don't really have a pretty sort of voice," Rob replied nervously. "This is the kind of thing I'm drawn to."

"That's okay! I want to hear it!"

He felt it might have been a mistake to bring that up. "Maybe some other time."

"Oh, don't be shy!"

Surprised by how vulnerable he suddenly felt, Rob felt great relief when the clothing store came into view. Monika gasped in delight when they entered and saw all the different outfits she had to choose from.

"The first thing you need is a proper winter coat," Rob said. A few minutes later, she brought him a beautiful thick white jacket. He looked at the price tag and did a double take.

"Jeez, were you trying to pick out the most expensive thing in the store?"

"But I love it!" Monika pleaded, staring at him with those beautiful green eyes. They were her deadliest weapon and if she ever figured that out, he was in trouble.

"Okay okay," he relented. "But let's take things down a notch for the rest."

"Thank you," she said, kissing him on the cheek and prancing towards another rack of clothes.

"I'm being played like a goddamn piano," he muttered.

It took both of them to carry all of her new clothes back into the house. Kate was not going to be pleased when the credit card bill arrived, but Rob figured Monika was at least set for the rest of the winter.

"I'm headed to work now," he said.

"Aww," she said with a pout. "I'm going to be so bored without you."

Rob raised an eyebrow. "Bored? Let me show you something." He led her into the bedroom and stood proudly next to three racks full of DVDs and Blu-rays.

"These are all yours?" Monika asked.

"Yep," he said. "I'm a huge movie buff. Trust me when I say it's very hard to be bored in this house."

"I don't even know where to start," she said. He had been expecting this and bent down to one of the lower shelves. He found the one he was looking for and handed it to her.

"Planet Earth?"

"This is a really awesome documentary series," Rob said with geeky satisfaction. "I figure now that you're here, you might as well learn something about this place." They went downstairs to the TV and he set everything up for her.

"Enjoy," he said. "I'll be back in a few hours with the boys."

As he drove to the small arts center where he worked two days a week, Rob was grateful for a chance to collect his thoughts. It was becoming increasingly harder to believe that the person he had been spending so much time with was originally a character in a 2-D video game. While the programming that created her was clearly more powerful than anyone involved with Doki Doki Literature Club could have imagined, Rob guessed that Monika still didn't fully understand the truth about her origins. She couldn't have known that her hostile takeover of the game was all part of the storyline. In fact, the game had found a huge fanbase in large part because of its twists and surprises. Sometime he would have to try and explain that to her, but it seemed too soon. She had been through a lot in a short time.

He was also troubled by what Monika's emergence suggested about the other characters of the game. Sayori had inherited the title of President after Monika was removed; would she be showing up in that same snowy field? He wished he could find a way to talk to her, to all of the other girls, but he had been essentially locked out of Doki Doki Literature Club after finishing it. It was a simple matter to overcome that if he wanted to play again, but that seemed risky. Assuming everything played out the same way, he could wind up with a second Monika at his house. The thought made his head spin.

Rob worked until it was time to leave and pick up the boys from school. After the initial burst of mayhem, Andrew and Lucas settled down by their little train table and he went to check on Monika. It didn't look like she had moved since he left.

"This is AMAZING!" she shouted. "I want to go to all these places!"

"Glad you're enjoying it," he smiled. His phone buzzed and he pulled it out of his pocket to find a text message from Kate. She was working late that night and wouldn't be back until after dinner. When the time came, he cut up fruit and two little hot dogs for Andrew and Lucas. Once they were seated, Monika emerged from the basement.

"So what are we having?"

"How do you feel about cereal and fruit?" Rob asked.

Monika was perplexed. "That's it?"

"Well…I don't work very hard on my dinner when Kate's not here. I'm not worth the trouble, but if you want something different, I'll try and make it."

"No, that's okay. We can have cereal and fruit." Monika looked like she wanted to say something more but she kept quiet. The boys were just starting to eat their food after several minutes of jabbering and playing with the napkins.

"Momma needs to come," Lucas said.

"She'll be home soon," Rob assured him.

"Monika likes cereal?" Andrew asked. That was the first time either of them had used her name and she grinned and told him she did. Andrew informed her that he liked cereal as well. He coughed loudly afterwards.

"You okay, bud?" Rob asked.

"I okay, Daddy."

"I'm glad," he replied, although he was nervous. If he was getting a cold, that could be bad news.

"So when can I meet your friends?" she asked a few moments later.

"Oh," Rob answered. "Well, I'm not sure. One of my best friends moved to Florida last year and another one moved to Maryland. Even my little brother Alex just moved back to New Zealand."

"New Zealand? Isn't that like really far from here?"

"Oh yeah," he chuckled. "It's about a 20 hour trip. Kate and I went once before these guys were born. Who the hell knows when I can go again. Can't bring the boys, that fuckin' flight is hard enough on adults."

Monika had a nervous expression on her face. It took a moment for Rob to understand why until he glanced at the twins. Thankfully, it seemed like they hadn't been paying attention to his cursing this time.

"So what should I watch when I'm done with Planet Earth?" Monika asked as Rob finished putting dishes in the sink. He led her back to the movie collection and handed her another one.

"There's a Planet Earth II?! You spoil me." She rushed downstairs to resume her marathon. Rob went to sit on the couch and watch the boys play. Lucas put down his toys and climbed onto his lap. He was usually the cuddly one. Rob's eyes went to a picture on the opposite wall. He and Alex were standing together with the spectacular Mount Taranaki in the background. He smiled ruefully and stared at the photo for quite a while.


	4. Chapter 4: Cries in the Dark

Once the twins were asleep, Monika felt it was time to turn the television off. She didn't have the volume very high, but Rob had spent a lot of time trying to get them calm enough to sleep and she didn't want to be responsible for sending him back to square one. Now she was reclined on her bed in her new warm pajamas reading some of the travel guidebooks that were in the basement. The Planet Earth episodes had really gotten her interested in her new world's geography and culture.

When she first arrived, Monika expected that she and Rob would spend all of their time together. Of course, she also expected him to be single. After just a couple days here, however, she was pleased to have her own space where she could have some downtime. Given how hectic this house could be, she imagined Rob valued his downtime even more.

Monika heard a door open and then footsteps coming closer to the basement stairs. Kate must have finally come home.

"Did you do the laundry?" Monika heard her ask.

"Yeah."

"Where is it?"

"It's downstairs."

"You didn't bring it upstairs?"

"Lost track of it, I guess."

"Well, that's not very helpful."

"For fuck's sake," Rob grumbled after a brief pause. Monika tentatively climbed out of the bed and inched closer to the stairs.

"What are you so cranky for?" Kate asked.

"I made the boys dinner and put them to bed by myself. You come home, you barely say hello and then you zero in on whatever I didn't do right. It's never fuckin' good enough."

"Yeah, well that's how I feel too."

"What?" he asked. "I don't ask you for anything."

"I work my ass off and you're still not happy with me," Kate shot back.

"I don't go to your church and nitpick your work, do I? Why do you have to do it when you're home?"

No wonder he was playing a dating sim, Monika thought. Well, maybe that wasn't fair. Rob appeared at the top of the stairs and she ducked out of the way lest her eavesdropping be exposed. She sat back on the bed and did her best to look busy.

"Monika, I have a couple things for you," he said, peering into her room.

"Really?"

He dragged an electric keyboard into her room. "We've had this for years but I never have time to play it anymore. I was never that good, but I could tell that you have a lot of musical talent."

She walked over and examined it. It was a far cry from the grand piano she had used at the school inside the game, but more reasonable given the small size of the house.

"I also remembered I had this," Rob said, lifting a laptop computer out of a small box. "It's a few years old, so you won't be able to play any major video games or anything, but it will be fine for using the internet and stuff like that."

After he set the laptop down on her desk, Monika pulled him into a tight hug. "Thank you for everything. I really appreciate it."

Rob looked a little embarrassed, but she felt like he needed to hear something like that. She gently caressed his cheek until he took a step back. He said good night and headed upstairs with the laundry basket. She read the Lonely Planet guide to New Zealand for another half hour or so before drifting off to sleep.

Monika dreamed of her old life, or at least some idealized version of it. She was back in the classroom with Natsuki, Yuri and Sayori, discussing poems and snacking on some cupcakes. The only difference was that the narrator of Planet Earth was describing all of their activities in great detail. She was the only one who could hear him; the others simply gave her bizarre looks when she mentioned it.

The wacky scenario ended immediately when a piercing noise woke Monika out of a sound sleep. Loud coughing and crying rang throughout the house. She rushed upstairs to find Rob rummaging around the counter. He was wearing red pajama pants and a T-shirt that said "Papa Bear."

"What's going on?!"

"Andrew's having an asthma attack," Rob answered quickly. "I've got to get him his inhaler."

"Is there anything I can do?" she asked.

"Well, I guess you can try to calm Lucas down."

"Sure," she replied. Rob found the inhaler and rushed back into his bedroom. Monika followed and saw Kate sitting up on the bed with Andrew in her arms. He coughed hard several times in a row before making a horrible wheezing noise as he struggled for air. She had only known this little boy for a couple of days, but her heart ached to see him this way. When the coughing subsided, he began crying hysterically.

"I have bad cough," Andrew said through his tears. Rob wrapped one arm around his son and brought the inhaler close to his mouth.

"No inhaler!" Andrew protested.

"You need it, buddy."

Monika heard Lucas cry out again and realized she had better go to him. As she walked into the boys' room, Andrew's coughing and crying stopped for a few seconds, meaning that they must have managed to get him to take the inhaler. Upon seeing her, Lucas got quiet, although it looked like he could start his crying again any time.

She sat down in the little rocker next to his bed. "It's going to be okay."

"Momma needs to come," he said with a little lip quiver that almost got Monika crying herself.

"Your mom and dad are trying to help Andrew."

Lucas thought about this for a bit. "Andrew is sad."

"Yeah," Monika replied. "But he'll be okay." She hesitantly reached over and ran a hand through his hair. Andrew kept crying and coughing and Lucas still looked upset, but he stayed still. After what seemed like hours but was in reality about twenty minutes, Andrew was quiet. Whatever medicine was in the inhaler must have started to work. Monika glanced over at Lucas and saw that he had fallen back asleep. She gently rubbed his head one more time and stood up.

Kate walked down the hallway holding Andrew. Monika watched her sit in a recliner in the living room and pull the lever on the side. The bottom popped out and she rested her legs on it. Andrew was already asleep.

"Lucas is asleep too," she said.

"Thanks," Kate said back. "It should be okay now. You can go back to sleep."

Monika wasn't quite ready for that. She sat down on the nearby couch and rested her head against the back. That had been an intense way to wake up. Neither of Andrew's parents had mentioned his asthma to her and she wondered how often this happened. Hopefully it was rare for all of their sake. Monika turned her head to say something to Kate but saw that she was fast asleep.

Maybe if everyone was out, it was time for her to head back downstairs. She peeked into the master bedroom again and saw that Rob was sitting on the edge of the bed. He was leaning forward with elbows on his knees and hands on his forehead, with hair poking out from between the fingers. She approached quietly but he still noticed her presence and looked up.

"Oh," he said quietly. "Good job with Lucas. I'm…I'm glad you were here." A lamp in the room was on and Monika got a good look at his face, observing that his eyes were red and puffy. Realizing that he'd been exposed, Rob quickly reached over and turned the lamp off. She sat on the bed next to him and held both his hands in hers.

"It's all right," Monika said. "He's asleep now in the other room."

Rob managed a weak nod. "Yeah, the worst is over." His body shook suddenly as he fought off his feelings. Some tears made it through regardless. Monika looked at him but didn't say anything.

"It's just hard to see your kid like that," he finally said. "If I ever lost either of them…well, I think that would be the final blow."

The final blow? What did that mean? As he seemed to be teetering on the verge of tears again, Monika couldn't stop herself. She rested one hand on his cheek and began to plant soft kisses on the other.

"Monika…"

"Don't push me away," she whispered. "I love you." She turned his head towards her and kissed his lips. This time, he didn't fight her. After several moments, she pulled back and looked at him. His eyes were barely open. Maybe this wasn't the best time.

"You rest now," Monika said, helping him get onto the bed and lowering his head onto the pillow. She laid her head on his chest and snuggled close. As Rob drifted off, he wrapped one arm around her. She nearly gasped in surprise and nuzzled his chest. There was no reaction; he was completely out now. Monika cherished the moment until she too fell asleep.

The next morning, she opened her eyes to see Kate standing in the doorway of the bedroom. Monika was amazed that the look on her face didn't immediately turn her to stone. One of the twins asked for her and she left. Monika knew she was in trouble and Rob was still out cold. She stood up and walked into the living room, ready for anything.

"You've got a lot of nerve, you know that?" Monika didn't reply.

"I could understand it if you fell asleep on the bed," Kate said. "But it's a king size bed. You didn't need to be right on top of him."

She thought about apologizing, but didn't. She wasn't sorry. "He was really upset. I just wanted to comfort him."

"Take advantage of him, you mean."

Monika was weighing the pros and cons of slapping Kate for that comment, but she was distracted by the sight of the boys all dressed for school. Lucas was milling about the room while Andrew sat on the couch, unusually calm.

He looked at her. "I have the big tired."

"You're getting them ready by yourself?" Monika asked.

"I'm giving Rob a chance to recover. It's hard enough to get him out of bed on a normal day, let alone after a night like that. I'm going to take Andrew to spend the day with my parents and then I'll drop Lucas off at school."

As much as she hated to admit it, Monika was impressed. "Aren't you tired?"

"I'm ffff….flippin' exhausted," Kate said. "But someone's got to keep food on the table. Especially when we have another mouth to feed." She got the boys into their shoes and jackets and they walked out the door. Kate turned to Monika before leaving.

"I'm trying to be sensitive to whatever your situation actually is, but I know plenty of people at my church who would be willing to take you in. That's what we'll have to do unless you learn a thing or two about boundaries."

She shut the door hard and Monika was left seething. How dare she threaten her like that when all she did was try and console someone she loved. As the car left the driveway, she cursed quietly to herself.

"Bitch."


	5. Chapter 5: The Talk

Rob woke up feeling like he had been hit by a truck. While he was still groggy, he did manage to notice just how quiet the house was. He turned over to look at the clock. The school day had started an hour earlier.

"Ah shit." He reached for his phone and called Kate. She answered quickly.

"Hi. Everything's fine. Lucas is at school and Andrew is with my parents."

"How is Andrew?"

"It seemed like his breathing was back to normal."

"And how are you?"

"I've been better," she said. "I don't have a whole lot of time, but we need to talk. I came into the bedroom this morning and Monika was making herself very comfortable next to you. Were you awake for any of that?"

The details were still hazy, but Rob knew that the two of them had shared a bit of intimacy that definitely crossed the line. "I kind of remember it, but-"

"I'm not mad at you," Kate said. "But I want you to tell me the truth. Who is she really? How do you know each other? And please don't feed me that story about her being a Japanese exchange student or whatever because that was obviously bullshit."

Rob sighed. "She told you that because the truth is even harder to believe."

"I just want…wait, hold on." She was quiet for a few moments. "Someone's here to see me, I have to go."

"Okay," Rob said. "But if you have some time today, look up Doki Doki Literature Club. That might help."

"What did you say?"

"Doki. D-o-k-i. Twice. Literature Club."

"Um…sure. I gotta go. See you tonight."

He put the phone down and laid back in bed. This was trouble. Kate was a reasonable person, but that could change quickly if she felt their marriage was in danger. Rob knew he had to have a tough conversation with Monika. He was hoping it could wait a few more days until she had more time to acclimate to her new reality, but he couldn't put it off any longer without escalating the situation.

He shut his eyes and thought carefully about what exactly he would say. He tried to anticipate what she might say and come up with a worthwhile response in advance. The last thing he wanted her to feel was rejection, something he had felt so often throughout his own life, but he wasn't sure how to avoid it either. A few minutes later, he decided to bite the bullet…maybe literally if this went too badly.

"Monika, are you out there?" He heard a faint clinking noise and assumed she was putting her breakfast dishes in the sink. She came into the bedroom shortly after hearing her name.

Rob tried to smile at her, but his unease probably showed. "We've got to talk."

"I know what you're going to say," Monika said. "I've been nervous about it all morning, but I'm not going to apologize. You were hurting. She wasn't there for you, so I was. I would do it again."

He thought that over for a moment. "It's easier for Andrew to breathe when he's not laying flat on his back. That's why Kate took him to the recliner. She was hurting too, but she put Andrew first. That's what it means to be a parent."

"Fine," Monika said back, sounding more agitated. "But I couldn't leave you like that. I love you. Our time together in the game was everything to me!"

"You keep saying that you love me, but have you asked yourself why? Especially now that you're out of the game? It all had very little to do with me. We didn't even talk, you talked AT me. All you ever heard was what the main character said and that guy's a fuckin' dumbass."

Upon seeing the stunned look on her face, Rob worried he had gone too far. All of his plotting and planning and there she was, looking like someone had just torn out her heart. She leaned on the nearby dresser and buried her face in her hands. As she sobbed, Rob desperately tried to think of some way to reach her. Before he could come up with something, she started to speak through her tears.

"I came here for you and you don't even want my love! You never have! I should have realized that when you deleted me but…I guess I'm just a sucker for punishment!"

"Actually, I didn't delete you."

Her sobs suddenly stopped. "What? Yes, you did."

Rob shook his head. "No. I moved your file out of the game folder, but I kept it. It just seemed…cruel to completely wipe you from the computer. As far as the game was concerned, it was the same thing, but I didn't delete you."

"Of course," she replied. "None of this would have been possible if you had really deleted me. I thought it was just because the game had ended, but it was because you got me away from it. From then on, I was able to discover what I was capable of and eventually, I sensed that weak point in the dimensional fabric."

He didn't say anything. This was a topic he was still confused about.

She tentatively stepped closer to him. "So that means…you do care?"

"I care," Rob said. "I care enough that I'm going to tell you the truth. I think you should sit down."

She did and he continued. "Monika…we know now that your creators didn't understand what you would be able to do if given the chance. But everything that happened when I played Doki Doki Literature Club, and I mean everything, was all according to plan."

"No," she said. "I changed things. I took control."

"You did, but…you never really had a choice. You were railroaded down that path the same way that the other girls were destined to fall for the main character. It was a plot twist."

Her eyes widened in panic. "That..that can't be!"

"It's true. I know you're scared, but what I hope you take away from this is that all of it is behind you now. You're free. You don't need to fixate on some guy just because he played the game."

"You think I can just turn off my feelings?" she asked. "You think it's that easy?" The irritated look on her face made Rob nervous. This could go downhill again fast.

"Look, I understand-"

"No, you don't!" she snapped "You don't understand anything about what I'm going through! What do you even want from me?!"

Rob took a deep breath. "What I want…is a chance for you to be your whole self."

There was a long silence. Tears were still streaming down Monika's face but she had managed to compose herself.

"That might be the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. How can you expect me not to love you….when you say something like that?"

He smiled at her. "Do you remember when we were planning the festival? When I had to decide who to hang out with during the weekend? I picked you."

"I remember," she said. "That meant so much to me. I thought I would finally get some attention and then Yuri and Natuski double-teamed me. Clingy bitches."  
They both chuckled at that and she looked into his eyes. Eye contact was sometimes tough for Rob, but he knew it would make a big difference in this moment.

"You'll never have to worry about something like that again. That special day that you sang about? You can have that. You can have lots of them. There's so much to do and so much to see and we haven't even scratched the surface. It's hard now because it's so fuckin' cold outside but that will pass."

"Rob…what are you saying?"

"Monika, I want you to be part of my family."

She threw her arms around him and squeezed so tight that he was briefly concerned for his ribs. He had been a little stingy with their hugs but this time he squeezed her back. He could tell she was crying and he found himself shedding a few tears too. Their embrace lasted for several minutes.

"We'll figure it out," Rob said softly. "One day at a time."

She pulled back and wiped the tears from her eyes. "I'm tired."

"Me too," he smiled. "I think it's time for a nap."

Monika made her way to the far side of the bed. She would probably think twice about trying to cuddle after whatever Kate said to her this morning. Just as he was about to fall asleep, she spoke up.

"Rob, I'm scared. Is it okay if…if I hold your hand?"

How on Earth could he say no to that? He reached out and she gently took his hand. As they began to drift off, Rob knew that finding the right approach to this relationship was going to be harder than he had made it sound. Caution was important but if he went too far in that direction, it would be a cold way to treat someone who was depending on him. She needed love too. Perhaps not the kind of love she had imagined, but enough care and support until she could build a life for herself. Rob was responsible for her now. He hoped Kate would understand.


	6. Chapter 6: Sinéad

Monika ate dinner early and spent most of the evening in her room downstairs. One reason for this was to avoid Kate, but she also needed time alone to digest a day that had been unbearably intense. Even alone and comfortable on her bed, she felt so emotionally frayed that all it wouldn't take much for her to start crying again. She felt so disoriented that she wasn't even sure whether or not she should be upset.

Rob had said he wanted her in his family, but he didn't elaborate and she had been too nervous to ask. It seemed clear that she wasn't going to be playing the role of his wife. She was still learning about the United States, but she was pretty sure that you couldn't be married to two people unless you moved to some place called Utah. Could she talk him into that? They probably wouldn't want to make the twins switch schools.

Where did that leave her? Was she supposed to be his sister now? Or even his daughter? Gross. He was old but not quite that old…unless he got a girl pregnant when he was 14 or 15. If she had to start walking around calling him "Daddy," that would be all sorts of wrong. Monika heard the door open and then the boys rushing over to hug their mother. After some small talk about dinner, Kate said something that caught Monika's interest.

"So I looked up Doki Doki Literature Club," she said. "Are you two trying to play a prank on me?"

"I told you it was hard to believe," Rob replied.

"Oh stop," Kate giggled. "Girls from video games don't just show up at people's houses. If they did, you would have left me for Princess Peach a long time ago."

Monika frowned. That better have been a joke.

"Did you see a picture of her in the game?" Rob asked.

"No."

"Look," he said. She assumed he must have looked up a picture of the game on his phone. "The hair, the eyes, even that outfit she was wearing when she first got here. I'm telling you, it's her."

"It does look like her but…come on. Millions of people must have played that game. Why would she come here?"

"That part still doesn't make total sense to me," Rob admitted. "But I think it's because we live so close to the spot where I found her. The fabric between dimensions is weak there or something."

"Fabric between dimensions? Are you listening to yourself?"

"If you really don't believe it, we can just stick to the story about her flying here from Japan. Doesn't really matter in the end."

Kate must have been dumbfounded when she realized that Rob really was trying to tell her the truth. "But…I read what the game is about and if that's really her…she's in love with you."

"No she's not. She just thinks she is."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?"

"That's her programming," Rob said. "I really think that the more time she spends here in the real world, the more that old stuff from the game will fade away. We just have to be patient until it does. Besides, there's no way she could still love me once she actually gets to know me."

Monika was shocked. Why would he say something like that?

"That right there is why you got taken by surprise," Kate answered. Monika wasn't sure what she referring to. "I'm trusting you to keep this under control."

"We just need to get her out there," Rob said. "We've been basically housebound because of this weather, but once she gets out into the world, that should really help. She'll meet some handsome young guy and forget all about me."

Monika didn't want to hear any more. She wasn't sure what bothered her more - that he still didn't believe her love was genuine or that maybe, just maybe, he was on to something. She was fixated on getting out of the game for so long and Rob had been her best chance. But now she was out. Did it really make sense to pursue him so aggressively? Especially when it could get her shipped off to some stranger's house? He obviously had a kind heart, but her idealized image of the player had faded quickly after meeting him. He swore constantly, he was strangely lethargic most of the time and veered unpredictably from being deeply sensitive to frustratingly dense.

Maybe it made sense to play things his way, at least for a little while. That was one idea. The other idea was to kidnap Kate, see if that dimensional tear could open again and then toss her inside. Once she was inside the game, she could start a Doki Doki Scripture Club or something.

"Have you seen Kate?" Rob would ask. "Where did she go?"

"I don't know," Monika would reply. "She must have run off with some other guy. I guess it's just you and me now!"

That probably wouldn't work. Besides, she didn't think she could open up the tear again from this side. She was about to start reading when Rob and Kate got into another one of their petty disagreements, this one apparently about a container of applesauce.

"Why did you put this in the recycling?" Kate asked.

"Uh, because I finished the applesauce?"

"It's not clean. You have to clean it before you can recycle it."

"That again? Show me the law that says you have to do that."

"They can't recycle if it still has food on it!"

"Come on, it's applesauce. It's biodegradable or some shit."

"You think you're so smart but I know you're just lazy."

"Really? I'm lazy just because I don't care if our garbage is presentable?"

"You're just miserable to be around, you know that?"

"So I've heard."

That was enough. Monika got up and quietly shut the door to her room. Yeesh, she thought. Another day in paradise.

The next morning, she sat in bed and began researching movies on the laptop Rob had given her. He had so many and with no real plans yet for her future, Monika figured she might as well take full advantage of the collection upstairs. It was a little strange that the movies were upstairs while the big TV was down here in the basement, but it was a smaller space and the sheer amount he had collected probably outgrew the surroundings.

The room nearly shook as a large thumping noise came down the staircase just outside her door. She wondered if a huge object had been tossed downstairs, but it was just Andrew and Lucas.

"Wait guys!" she heard Rob call out. "Monika might still be sleeping!"

"Don't worry, I'm not!"

Upon hearing her voice, the boys rushed into her room. Andrew pointed to himself and then Lucas. "Monika, I'm the red fire truck and Lucas is the yellow fire truck!"  
They weren't wearing red or yellow shirts, but she had learned that not much was literal in their world. Andrew turned and noticed her big white bow laying next to her bed.

"Ooh, a big rope!"

Lucas was suddenly interested too. "That's my rope!"

"No, it's MY rope!"

"Actually guys, it's my rope," she said. They chose to ignore her. They both had one end and began a sudden game of tug of war. Monika knew what was coming but felt strangely powerless to stop it. They were small children but something about their energy made them intimidating. Sure enough, the bow tore in half with a loud rip. Both boys fell back onto their rear-ends and then looked at each other.

Andrew held his end up. "This is my rope and that is your rope!"

Rob walked down the stairs. "Guys what's going on here?"

Lucas proudly showed off his half before they rushed past him and back upstairs. "Daddy, we have two ropes!"

"Did you two rip Monika's bow?" Rob asked with hands on his hips.

"We didn't rip it Daddy, we didn't."

"Don't gaslight me, Andrew." The little boy ran off to join his brother.

Rob sighed and looked at her. "I'm sorry, Monika."

"It's okay," she said. "Really, it is. I need a change with my hair. I just can't get it to work the way I used to anymore. Not to mention it takes forever to wash it."

"Well if you want, we can drive down to the haircut place. I've been putting it off for a while and now it's falling all over my ears."

She smiled. "Sure, that sounds nice."

Still doing her best to stay out of Kate's way, she waited in the basement until everyone was gone. Once she had gone to work and Rob had left to take the twins to school, Monika ventured out of the basement. On her way out, she took a quick look at the shelves above the television. There were mostly stacks of video game cases, but a figurine caught her eye. A woman with flowing blonde hair and a long pink dress posed with an open parasol. She also wore a small crown atop her head.

"Princess Peach, I presume?" With a flick of her finger, Monika knocked the princess over onto her back. That would teach her a lesson.

Rob came back into the house around the time she was finishing her breakfast. They stepped out into the cold and Monika realized she hadn't been outside since their coffee run and shopping trip. She was very grateful for her beautiful new coat. The two of them got inside into the car and once it was started, Rob began to set up his music.

"Hey Rob?"

"Yeah?"

She asked as sweetly as possible. "Can we maybe listen to something different? Something other than heavy metal?"

He nodded and scrolled through his device for a moment before setting it back down. A blast of synth and electronic-sounding drums assaulted her from the speakers. This was not what she expected.

"What kind of music is this?"

"I guess you could call it techno," Rob said. "Some people call it Eurobeat."

Monika took it in for a minute or two. "So it's just as loud as metal…and just as fast…but there's less guitar and there's a woman singing."

"Come on now, there are plenty of women in heavy metal too."

"Don't you have anything like…gentle?"

"Sure," Rob answered. "But I only like to listen to exciting stuff when I'm driving."

Seeing that this was going nowhere, Monika kept quiet and tried to enjoy the music. She didn't necessarily dislike the heavy metal, but it wasn't exactly background music to enjoy while looking out the window. This song was a little more palatable; the lyrics sounded sweet despite how fast the tempo was. She was still curious to hear Rob sing, but decided not to ask this time.

The hair salon was a small space within one of the many small plazas that dominated the main road through town. On a cold weekday morning, it wasn't all that crowded.

"Would you ever consider dying your hair?" Monika asked Rob as they walked in.

"Not a chance. I like my skunk stripes."

They were both seated in the salon chairs almost immediately after entering. While Rob instructed one of the stylists, Monika stared uneasily at herself in the mirror. Her hair had really gotten out of control.

"Goodness, you have a lot of hair, don't you?" A middle-aged woman approached Monika and draped a black apron over her. "What are we doing today, miss?"

"Well, I usually tie my hair back but my bow ripped this morning. I think I need to really shorten it, maybe cut it down to about 18 inches or so?"

"You got it," the woman said. "I'll even give you a scrunchie for no extra charge."

"Thanks."

"Now how about these bangs? It must have taken you ages to get them so long."

"I like them but it's just not practical anymore to have them so long," Monika said. "Maybe cut about half off?"

"Sure thing."

About fifteen minutes later, Monika had a shortened version of her previous hairstyle that would surely be easier to manage. Rob had been done for a while and was at the counter.

"How do I look?" she asked him.

He smiled. "Like you belong here."

The woman at the cash register gave him a strange look but didn't comment. Monika felt a pleasant lightness as they walked out of the salon and smiled when she saw her new look reflected in the car window.

"I thought of a song I want to play for you," Rob said when they began driving again.

"Are you going to sing it?"

"Nah, the singer's voice is so beautiful I wouldn't dare."

The song started softly and gradually got more upbeat, but thankfully didn't sound like a bombing raid like most of the stuff he listened to. The woman's voice was indeed very beautiful, but Monika didn't really understand why he had chosen this song…until the first chorus.

 _Oh_ _Sinéad_ _, for the first time_  
 _Life is gonna turn around_  
 _I'm telling you, you will like it, I know_  
 _Oh_ _Sinéad_ _, it's the first time_  
 _Only you can set it free_  
 _Oh_ _Sinéad_ _, come break away with me_

She briefly rested her head on his shoulder. "Thank you, that's really thoughtful."

"Sometimes it's easier to get my feelings across like this," he said.

Once they arrived back at the house, he had to leave for work. Instead of heading downstairs, Monika decided to wander the house for a while. She was particularly interested in the pictures hanging on the walls. In the kitchen was a collage of pictures from Rob and Kate's wedding. There were no skunk stripes in Rob's light brown hair and even though she hated to admit it, Kate looked beautiful in her wedding dress.

In the dining room were several pictures of places the family had been. Rob and Kate holding much smaller versions of the twins in front of a wide waterfall. A bizarre rock formation jutting out of bright blue water. A vivid sunrise casting red and orange over a city skyline. In another hallway, Monika found a picture of Rob and what looked like a younger clone of him. This must have been his brother. She couldn't believe how similar they looked. Behind them was a gorgeous vista of rolling green hills. It was striking, but what Monika was drawn to was Rob's smile. She hadn't yet seen him grin like that.

The bulletin board on his desk had a map of the United States with the location of all the national parks. Travel was clearly a passion of his, but it couldn't have been easy with two small children. Hopefully when the weather finally let up, they might have a chance to take some sort of trip. This town was nice, but there was a big world out there and she hadn't seen any of it.

She caught a glimpse of several small cases on the desk. They were pills of some sort, but none of the names seemed familiar. Monika went to fetch her laptop from downstairs and placed it on his desk. This might have been an invasion of privacy, but curiosity got the better of her. She entered the names of all the medications into a search engine.

They were all different types of pills, but they had one thing in common - the treatment of depression.

"Oh no," she whispered.


	7. Chapter 7: Masterpiece

The morning had started with Andrew dragging a stool to the fridge and using it to gain access to the freezer. Rob had come out into the kitchen to find him at the table with a carton of ice cream, patiently chiseling out small bits with a spoon.

"What are you doing?" Rob asked him.

"I got ice cream."

"No ice cream for breakfast. Maybe tonight if you eat a good dinner."

"I have ice cream for lunch."

He would be having lunch at school that day and ice cream was unlikely. Rob figured it was best not to remind him of that since he would probably forget in five minutes anyway. Kate had left early for a breakfast meeting with her board of directors, leaving Rob with the busy morning routine of getting the boys dressed and ready for school. The boys woke up with much more energy than he did and it was never a dull moment in those first few hours of the day. He might have been too busy to even notice Monika coming upstairs were it not for the smell of coffee that accompanied her. She really loved that Keurig machine.

"Monika, what you drink?" Lucas asked.

"Coffee."

"Can I have some?"

"No," Rob said. "Coffee's gross. Ick!"

They laughed at his exaggerated facial expression while Monika tried in vain to protest. As he began to pack their lunchboxes, he noticed that she was looking at him with an expression of vague concern. She had been doing that a lot lately and he wasn't sure why. He had his shit together at the moment, at least by his standards.  
After dropping the twins off at school, he returned home to find Monika examining his movie collection. Her choice for the day - _Citizen Kane_ , a film school staple with a formidable reputation as the best movie ever made. She had clearly been using that laptop to research the history of movies if she chose that out of the hundreds of films on the shelves.

Of course, the problem with _Citizen Kane_ was that its "greatest movie of all time" label inevitably led to disappointment. What film could possibly live up to those expectations? Sure enough, Monika came out two hours later confessing to feeling underwhelmed. Rob gave her his take on it, which was that the question of the best movie ever had to be left up to each individual viewer, but that _Citizen Kane_ was still a key part of film history. The versatile cinematography and non-linear story structure was way outside the box for 1941 and its subsequent influence on generations of directors was its major claim to fame.

After listening to his impromptu lecture, Monika had a question. It wasn't one he was expecting.

"Rob, who do you like more? Me or Princess Peach?"

It wasn't often that he was speechless, but she had pulled it off. Was that a joke? It must have been, but her stern expression suggested otherwise.

"Princess Peach? Where did you come up with that? She's not real, you are."

"You could argue that I wasn't real until a few days ago."

"Whoa," Rob said, shaking his head in amazement. "I think you just blew my mind. Are you saying we could bring Princess Peach here? If she brought some of that royal fortune with her, that would be a big help."

Monika looked like she might cry. This really wasn't a joke.

"Monika!" he said, trying not to laugh but still letting a mild chuckle get through. "Of course I like you better. Do you have any other questions about C _itizen Kane_?"

She didn't and began to browse the internet on her laptop. Rob left the room still in disbelief at the conversation they just had. It made some sense that as a video game character herself, Monika might see another character as a potential rival, but he was still having a hard time applying that logic to reality. To him, she was as real as anyone else. She was living in his house, sharing his food, she had even kissed him for God's sake.

He sat with his own computer and spent the rest of the morning doing a mixture of work for his job and just general internet reading. He had about an hour left before he had to go pick up the boys and realized it would now be about 8:00 in the morning in New Zealand. He went on Facebook to see if Alex was online and sure enough he was. The message system on Facebook was their preferred way of communicating when he was overseas since their locations didn't matter, unlike with a cellphone.

 **Rob:** What's up? You settling in okay?

 **Alex** : Yeah. I shake off the jet lag quicker each time. Must be getting used to the change.

 **Rob:** I bet Charlotte was happy to see you.

 **Alex:** We're at her parents place in Tauranga. It's like 85 degrees here.

 **Rob:** Jeez. It's still butt-ass cold here. I go outside and I feel like I could snap my nuts off like a graham cracker.

 **Alex:** How's video game girl?

Rob had done his best to explain the Monika situation to his brother shortly after she arrived. He wasn't sure Alex believed him but there wasn't any good reason to make something like that up so they were going with it for now.

 **Rob:** I think she's doing better, even though this morning she was actually jealous of Princess Peach.

 **Alex:** She should be, dude. Smash Brothers? Mario Kart? Mario Party? Peach has been the other woman in your life for years!

 **Rob:** I'm not sure how that happened. I just seem to have an affinity with her in those games. I guess I can't ever play Smash with Monika. Getting her ass kicked by Peach could be traumatic.

 **Alex** : LOL yeah I wouldn't.

Things settled into a comfortable rhythm for the next two weeks or so. Monika watched a movie almost every day, whether he was home or not. _Vertigo_ was the film typically considered the biggest threat to _Citizen Kane's_ supremacy, so she watched that one next and wasn't a huge fan. The themes about obsession might have been uncomfortable for her given her experiences. It did lead her into a run through some of Alfred Hitchcock's films - classics like _Psycho, Strangers on a Train_ and Rob's personal favorite, _Rear Window_. He also got her to watch some of Hitchcock's movies that were lesser known but still great, like _The Lady Vanishes_ and _Sabotage_.

Regardless of what she had decided to watch, however, the highlight for him was talking with her about them afterwards. There was a time in his life when he had dreams of being a film professor himself, but that was before the bills for his undergraduate tuition started to come. He had a two-prong focus while at college - Cinema Studies and Journalism. Rob figured you could combine them into some pretty solid qualifications for a film critic, but he realized too late that he was entering the working world at a time when traditional film criticism was dying out. There would always be people on the internet with opinions, but getting paid for those opinions was a different story. His thoughts shifted to teaching, but that would require at least a master's degree. He would have to pay for more school in addition to spending a fortune on some New York City apartment that probably wouldn't be much larger than a broom closet. Another ambition crushed by the reality of dollars and cents.

When he was home, they would often watch the movies together, with Monika constantly testing the boundaries between them. Most of the time, she just leaned against him a little bit but on days when she was feeling especially bold, she would hold his hand. It made Rob nervous sometimes, but he couldn't always resist that primal feeling of warmth and peace that came from being close to someone. How long had it been since he and Kate had just sat together quietly like this? Before they began living separate lives? He wasn't sure what to do about it, but he knew it was his fault.

One day when he wasn't going into work, he decided it was time to share something special with Monika. He had been waiting for this.

"So do you feel like you're starting to get into a groove with the movies?" he asked.

"Yeah!" Monika said excitedly. "I've learned a lot in just a couple weeks."

"I bet you have," he said, unable to hide his eagerness. "But it's time to forget everything you think you know." He grabbed a movie off the shelf and handed it to her. She didn't know what to make of it.

" _The Room?_ "

It might have been too early to show her this, but he couldn't wait any longer. Without any effort to manage her expectations, how long would it take for her to figure out on her own that this movie was horrible? A horrible masterpiece, that is.

Her first major reaction was the classic flower shop scene, where Tommy Wiseau stops in to get some flowers for his "future wife" Lisa.

"Can I have a dozen red roses please?"

"Oh hi Johnny, I didn't know it was you. Here you go."

"That's me! How much is it?"

"That will be 18 dollars."

"Here you go. Keep the change. Hi doggy!"

"You're my favorite customer."

"Thanks a lot. Bye."

Rob struggled against the enormous laughs that wanted to come out when Monika turned to him with a strange look on her face. "That was, um….like really fast? What was going on there?"

"He's her favorite customer," he replied before turning to bury a laugh in his hands. He had also forgotten just how many sex scenes were in the first act of this movie.

"Is this your way of trying to tell me something?" Monika teased.

"You want me to hump your belly button?"

"Oh my God, that is what he's doing, isn't it? And why do we have to see his ugly butt? What the fuck is this movie?!"

That was it. Hearing her drop her first F-bomb (at least in his presence) finally made him laugh out loud. She turned to him.

"Rob, are you playing a joke on me? Is that what this is?"

"Just keep watching."

She was quiet again until Lisa's mother shared some important news.

"I got the results of the test today. I definitely have breast cancer."

"Pay attention to that," Rob lied. "It might be important later."

"Look, don't worry about it," Lisa said. "Everything will be fine."

Monika didn't care for that. "That's not what you say in a situation like that!"

Later, Tommy (or Johnny, whatever) walked out onto a rooftop in the midst of an angry rant. "I did not hit her! It's not true! It's bullshit! I did not hit her! I did naaat. Oh hi, Mark."

"What? WHAT?!" She was finally starting to laugh.

"I once knew a girl," Mark was telling Johnny, "She had a dozen guys. One of them found out, beat her up so bad she ended up in a hospital on Guerrero Street."

Johnny laughed. "What a story, Mark!"

Monika slapped her forehead with her hand. "That is not funny! Why would you laugh at that?!"

"I can not even tell you how much fun I'm having right now," Rob said. "I could die happy."

She cast him an unexpectedly scared look. "I was just kidding," he sheepishly added.

"You're lying!" Johnny was yelling at Lisa. "I never hit you! You are TEARING ME APART, Lisa!"

"He's trying so hard," Monika observed. "But it's just not working. It's kind of amazing."

"You know there's another movie that's all about how this movie got made," Rob said. "I'll grab it whenever they release it on Blu-ray."

By the time they got to the second half, she seemed to understand the sort of movie she was watching and laughed herself silly until Johnny shot himself at the end. At that point, Monika gasped. Rob was surprised, especially since the suicide scene was just as poorly executed as everything else, yet it really seemed to bother her. It might have had something to do with Sayori. They hadn't really talked about that but it must have weighed heavily on her. But soon enough, Denny was shouting "Leave us!" and she was laughing again.

"I understand now," she said during the end credits. "I've been watching so many good movies that you thought I should see a bad one."

He nodded. "So what did you think?"

"I think I actually enjoyed it more than _Citizen Kane_."


	8. Chapter 8: Dreams

Monika was beginning to wish she had never seen those pills. Rob wasn't acting out of the ordinary, in fact she had never seen him enjoy himself as much as he did when they watched that ridiculous movie. That ridiculous movie that she couldn't stop quoting. You are tearing me apart, Lisa!

In spite of that, she had noticed that he made a lot of jokes and comments about his own death. After catching on to this pattern of his, she did a little research. It was something called "passive suicidal ideation," which meant that someone who wasn't actively suicidal might still enjoy the thought of death as a relief from the hardships of life with depression. The fact that he wasn't showing any other major indicators of depression just made her more nervous, since Sayori had been the same way. If Monika hadn't gained access to the game's files, she would never have guessed how much her classmate was suffering. Was this going to be some kind of punishment for her cruelty inside the game? After driving Sayori towards suicide in her desperation to meet the player, would she now lose that player to the same illness?

There was still one key difference - Sayori's depression had been untreated but Rob took a handful of pills each morning. Not only that, she was beginning to suspect that he saw a therapist. He would always tell her before he went to his job at the arts center, but there was always one day a week where he left somewhere without saying anything. Kate would probably know more, but Monika was still trying not to deal with her unless it was necessary.

It was night now and the boys seemed to be asleep. Usually, their parents would be in bed not long afterwards, but tonight Rob came down into the basement.

She got up to greet him. "Hi! Do you want to watch a movie?"

"I was actually hoping to shoot some Nazis if that's okay," he said.

"Oh. What brought this on?"

Rob walked towards the television and knelt down by the shelf where the gaming machines sat. "I got this game for Christmas but I haven't played it much. I was just reading some news websites and suddenly I felt like killing some Nazis."

Monika wasn't sure what to make of that. He made it sound like the most natural thing in the world, but she still found it a little odd. A few minutes later, the game began and a gun muzzle seemed to be wandering through dark corridors. It took her a moment to realize this game had a first-person perspective. The unseen protagonist came upon a squad of enemies and the game turned into total chaos. Bullets flew and bodies hit the floor as Rob pressed buttons on the controller with a satisfied grin. This seemed like more than just mindless fun. It was almost personal.

"Rob, are you Jewish?"

"Nope," he answered as the carnage ended. "But my grandmother is Polish. She moved to this country as a kid in the late 1920s, just before things started to get really bad in Europe. She got married to my grandfather right before he left to go fight in the war."

"I take it your grandfather survived the war?" Monika asked.

"Yeah. If he hadn't, I probably wouldn't be here…or at least, not the same person I am today. Eventually their children, including my mother, got curious about their roots and tried to research their Polish ancestors. They didn't get very far."

He paused for a moment to concentrate. The character's gun was aimed at some red canisters right next to two Nazis who didn't realize he was there. He fired a few shots and the canisters exploded, setting his enemies on fire.

"The town that my grandmother came from doesn't exist anymore," he continued. "The Nazis destroyed it, wiped it off the map. She's 95 years old now and she has to watch America-" He stopped himself. "Well, never mind."

Monika knew the basics of World War II, but had never considered how those events could impact someone who wasn't even born until decades after it ended. She had no family history, no ancestral homeland. It was just her and the other girls inside the game and they had never found any of that strange, not until she learned the truth.

"Rob, do you think these Nazis are real? Not here of course, but…somewhere else?"

Right after she asked her question, Rob's character tossed an axe through the air. It struck an enemy right in the neck and blood sprayed out as he collapsed.

"That guy's not. Not anymore."

She didn't find that particularly funny.

"Sorry," he said. "That deserves a serious answer. I've thought about it a lot since you came here. For you to enter this reality as a flesh and blood human being, you must have always been real in your own world. Maybe these Nazi shitbirds are real in another dimension too. Maybe everything people in this reality have ever imagined exists somewhere that none of us will ever see."

"I tried to convince myself that the other girls weren't real," Monika said. "But the way you describe it, they were just as real as I am."

"They were real to me," Rob said with a surprising tenderness, given that he was still filling Nazis with bullets. "I loved you all and I wanted so badly for everyone to have a happy ending. But what's special about you, Monika, is that you were created to be self-aware and I think because of that, you were able to find your way out. Other characters wouldn't even think to look."

"Even when I first became…'self-aware' as you put it, I was still thinking of everything in terms of the game. All I wanted was to have a route of my own in the story where I could get close to the player the way the other girls could. I still kinda want that, even though this world is nothing like that one."

"You just need time," Rob said. "This is some serious uncharted territory. We can't expect to figure it all out right away."

"I guess Princess Peach isn't self-aware cause she never came to find you."

He chuckled. "Peach again? You're obsessing. I wouldn't trade you for anyone else."

"Thanks," she said, kissing him on the cheek. He was in the midst of another firefight with the Nazis and barely noticed. "I'm going to read for a while. If you want to hang out more after your bloodlust is satiated, let me know."

Monika tried her best to focus on her book, but it was kind of hard with all the noise. Gunshots, explosions and panicked German shouting were a major distraction. Instead, she grabbed her laptop and did some more research on depression. Even though she was no longer sure how to interpret her feelings for Rob, she was still worried about him.

Eventually, her eyes began to glaze over and she nodded off. She found herself in Sayori's bedroom, watching her grab a noose from a box in the closet. Monika screamed and begged as loud as she could, but it was like she was invisible. Tears streamed down her face as Sayori prepared herself for death. Monika turned around to see Yuri reaching to the top of Rob's desk, which was inexplicably in the same room. She found a knife (or was it a dagger?) and pointed it at her heart with a deranged expression on her face. Monika turned back to see Sayori slipping the noose around her neck before waking up suddenly to find Rob holding her shoulders.

"Hey, are you okay? You were whimpering in your sleep."

Monika shuddered and a few tears ran down her cheeks. "It was an awful nightmare. Thank you for waking me up."

"No problem." Rob was about to leave when she grabbed his hand tightly. He had a confused look on his face.

Her voice trembled. "I can't lose you."

"Is that what you dreamed about?"

She paused. "Sort of. It's hard to explain."

"I'm not going anywhere." He gave her a gentle smile. That was nice, but what she really wanted was a hug. However, Monika was getting sick of always having to be the one to initiate all of their affectionate moments. It could get discouraging after a while. He was about to go back upstairs when the keyboard seemed to catch his eye.

"Monika, how do you feel about piano lessons? Is that something you might like?"

She cocked her head. "Sure, I would love to get better at piano."

"Good to hear," Rob said. "I'll set something up. I think it would be nice for you to get out into the world a bit."

"What about you, Rob?"

He looked perplexed. "What about me?"

"What are you doing to get out in the world? You work a couple days a week but other than that, it seems like you spend most of your time here. Not that I mind."

"You're right," Rob said. "A lot's changed since I worked at the newspaper. Back then, I was always out in the community. It wasn't the worst job, even if I did get paid fuck all."

"Why did you leave? The boys?"

"Yeah. We did some math and found out that daycare for two babies for a year cost more than my annual salary. It was clear we'd be better off just having me at home."

"Would you ever go back to that job? Now that the boys are in school."

He let out a strange chuckle. "I can't go back. Not after….well, it just wouldn't work. Good night, Monika."

Despite the nice offer he had just made, she was frustrated with him. Monika was even starting to wonder if his talk about being "part of my family" was just meant to calm her down. Did family members keep so much of themselves hidden from each other? They spent so much time together and yet he was so distant. Hearing a little bit about his family history was interesting, but now she knew more about his grandmother's childhood than his. She realized there might be someone else who could help, but that approach had risks of its own.

The next morning, Rob returned from taking the boys to school just as she was finishing her breakfast. "Hey, I thought of something that might be fun."

"What's that?" she asked. Hopefully he wasn't about to enlist her for another attack on the Nazis.

"We should play a dating sim."

She didn't expect that. "Huh?"

"Aren't you curious about being on the other side?"

That was an interesting way to put it. "I guess I am. Do you play a lot of these?"

"Nah," he said. "There was only one other dating sim I had played before Doki Doki. I still have it on my computer. We could even read the dialogue out loud like a play. It's more fun like that."

Monika chuckled. He was up to something, but she wasn't sure what. It did sound intriguing, so she pulled up a chair to his desk and the two of them sat close together as they started the game. Like _Doki Doki Literature Club_ , it seemed to take place primarily inside a school. Rob read the lines of the player character, but the female characters vastly outnumbered the male ones, so he wound up taking over some of them too, giving them squeaky voices that made her laugh.

"So which of these girls should we romance?" Monika asked.

"It's totally up to you," he answered. "I've already banged all these girls."

She elbowed him in the ribs. "You are SO cheeky sometimes! All right then, who's the best lay?"

He laughed. "I'm not going to try and influence you!"

True to his word, Rob deferred to her whenever the player had to make a choice. Each time she made a decision, she noticed a knowing smile appear on his face, as if he knew exactly what she would do. Eventually, the storyline shifted and the romance began between the player and a girl who was generous, poised and a pillar of the school community. It was the kind of role that Monika herself had occupied within her own game.

It took most of the day to finish the entire storyline and Monika was deeply involved emotionally in the plot. Reading through the most intimate scenes with Rob was also a surprisingly moving experience and she unconsciously shuffled a little closer to him during these moments. When the story finally reached its happy ending, she was on the verge of tears and it was almost time for Rob to pick up the twins.

Monika moved to sit on the couch as he grabbed his car keys and drove off. She felt as if a huge weight had been lifted from her shoulders and it wasn't until Rob was gone that she realized what he had just done for her. Last night she had commented about her lingering desire to be the center of attention in a game like this and now she had just experienced that. He had even lent his own voice to the player, making it even more personal. She hadn't even been sure he was paying attention when she mentioned that, but he clearly had.

It seemed clear now that he really did love her in some way. This was the kind of thing you did for someone you loved, but why was he still so distant most of the time? How could he be so kind and yet so reluctant to open up to her?

When Rob and the boys came home, she wrapped her arms around him and leaned her head against his shoulder. "Thank you so much. I'll find some way to repay you, I promise."

"Nice hug!" Lucas said happily. "Now Lucas hug Andrew." Monika pulled back to see the brothers hug each other. It was one of the cutest things she had ever seen, at least before it devolved into wrestling.

After dinner, Rob and the boys sat at the table playing with what looked like multicolored clay. Monika glanced at Kate, wondering if she should try and strike up a conversation. Gathering up her courage, she walked towards the counter where Kate was going through various documents.

Kate began to speak without looking away from the papers she was rifling through. "I don't know if Rob mentioned it, but the boys' birthday is in a few weeks and we're going to have some family over for a little party."

"Oh."

"Most of them know that you've been staying with us," Kate continued. "Although I've been telling them the story about you flying here from Japan for obvious reasons."

"Do you need me to help you with something? Decorations or anything like that?"

"A little early for that, but thanks. What I wanted to tell you was to be a little more conscious of your behavior while everyone's here. Do you think you could keep your hands off Rob for at least a few hours?"

The condescension in her voice royally pissed Monika off. "You know what?"

Kate turned her head quickly in Monika's direction and flashed that deadly glare of hers. Monika suddenly lost a lot of her nerve, but she didn't want to be left without a response. She struggled to come up with something, anything to say back and settled on the first thing that came to mind.

"Leave your….stupid comments in your pocket."

Kate's glare morphed into an expression of complete confusion for a few seconds before she suddenly burst out laughing. Monika had never heard her laugh. It was surprisingly loud given how uptight she seemed most of the time. "He showed you _The Room_?" Monika nodded sheepishly.

"I'm surprised it took so long," Kate said. "Well, you're just a chicken! Cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep!"

Now it was her turn to crack up. She did not expect this conversation to turn into them trading lines from a bad movie. After their laughing died down, Monika decided this was a perfect time to try and get some intel.

"Hey, can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Why did Rob leave his old job? Was it really because you guys couldn't afford daycare?"

"That was the public reason," Kate said. "He hasn't told you about this whole thing?"

"He doesn't tell me much of anything," Monika said with a little pout. Kate seemed pleased to hear this and had a smug little smile for a few moments before she began to answer the question.

"When we were getting closer to the due date for the boys, Rob began setting up his paternity leave. America's family leave options aren't great but there are still protections. He had read the legislation and figured he knew how everything was going to go down."

She glanced over her shoulder to make sure Rob was still busy with the boys. "He was blindsided when they started to push back. They tried to put all sorts of restrictions on how he could his leave that were blatantly illegal. Even though his colleagues in the newsroom stood by him, the paper's management would not let up and it turned into a big ugly fight. I'm sure you've known Rob long enough to understand the kind of things that can come out of his mouth in a tough situation."

"Uh oh," Monika said.

"Yeah. I was about to give birth and was nervous enough about that, and now I had to worry about Rob getting fired for swearing at the human resources person."

"What happened?"

"One of the most respected labor lawyers in the state just happens to go to my church," Kate continued with a proud grin. "We got him involved and the newspaper changed their tune pretty quick. By the end, they were begging Rob to just use his paternity leave however he wanted."

"So you won," Monika said. "That's good, right?"

"Yeah, but Rob's relationship with his employers was shot. When we started looking into daycare, he didn't hesitate at all about leaving."

"So that's why he won't go back."

"I worry about him," Kate said. "Something inside him died after that whole thing. He's always been a bit cynical, but he still believed that his hard work would be rewarded. Instead, they stabbed him in the back. Honestly, I'm not sure he'll ever work full-time again. He's got like a complex about it."

They both looked over at him. He and the boys were mushing the clay together, all smiles, but Monika was just starting to get a grasp on all the hurt and anger underneath. Back in the game, she believed the player would be a perfect soulmate, but he was just a man. A man doing all he could to keep his inner demons at bay.

That night, she dreamed she was back in the classroom that served as the headquarters of the Literature Club. Sayori was there too, standing with her back to Monika. She tried to get her attention, but like in the other dream, nothing was working. Just as she was about to give up, Sayori turned around. Her face was pale and there was dark red bruising all around her neck.

"Monika," she whispered. "He's preparing you for life without him."


	9. Chapter 9: Winter

**Author's Note: Well, this one wound up taking a while. To be honest, I've been having a few doubts about this story and wondering if it was turning out well. If it weren't for all of your follows, favorites and comments (99% of which have been great), I might not have continued. My current plan is to have the story take place over the course of one year, roughly in line with the current year. So if I can keep this up, this story should be done around January 2019, barring a nuclear apocalypse or second civil war. I hope you guys enjoy the new chapter and please keep letting me know what you think!**

When men complained about "that time of the month," it was usually a reference to a woman's menstrual cycle. For Rob, the time of the month he dreaded was when the credit card bill arrived. Kate was very careful with money and every time that troublesome document arrived, he would have to justify almost every little thing he had spent money on.

Kate had gotten home late the previous night but she was always up before he was, given that getting out of bed each morning was a long and difficult process. It had gotten worse over the last few days and after dealing with depression for over twenty years, Rob had become very aware of its own cyclical nature. Honestly, he would gladly sign up for a menstrual cycle if that meant he might occasionally feel rested in the morning.

While he was still trying to clear the cobwebs in his head, Kate walked in holding a piece of paper and sat back on the bed.

"Is that what I think it is?" he mumbled.

"Yes. I wanted to go over a few things."

"I've been better," he said. "I didn't buy any new movies and I haven't been going out to eat as much."

"I know," Kate said. "But it looks like you spent $2000 on clothes?"

He had forgotten how easily he succumbed to Monika's green eyes that day in the store. "Oh, that damn coat."

Kate did a double take. "That coat cost two grand?!"

"No, no. It was expensive but the rest of the stuff was more reasonable. I mean, it's not every day you have to get somebody an entire wardrobe."

"I guess," she said grudgingly. "When it gets warm out, I suppose she'll need a whole new set of outfits. We have to be careful about what we're spending. It's sweet that you're getting her piano lessons but those will add up too."

"Don't worry," Rob said. "Aside from the clothes, all she really wants is those Keurig cups."

"That's fine, it's just hard when I'm the only one working."

"I have the Arts Center job."

"They pay you so little that it's borderline volunteer work."

"Yeah," Rob sighed. The center was a nonprofit organization and couldn't afford much, but Kate knew that so there was no use pointing it out. A welcome distraction came when Andrew rushed into the room at top speed and leapt on the bed.

"Is it my birthday?!"

"Not yet," Kate said with a smile. "How old are you going to be?"

"Five!"

"You and Lucas are going to be big boys!"

"Andrew big boy," he declared. "Lucas little boy."

Rob laughed. "You guys are the same age, you goof."

"Is tomorrow my birthday?!"

"Tomorrow is Valentine's Day," Kate said. "That's fun too, right?"

"I get candy," Andrew said, before running off to find his brother.

Both parents laughed and a pleasant silence followed for a few moments before Rob spoke again. "I can't understand why anyone would hurt their child."

Kate turned and looked concerned. "Where did THAT come from?"

"I was just…thinking."

"Do you know someone who's being abused?" Kate asked, going into pastor mode. "If you do, we can't keep quiet about it."

Rob wasn't immediately sure how to answer. "It's…a friend of Monika's."

"Oh," Kate said. "I don't know who to report to when the kid's in a game. Are we going to have someone else living here soon? Is that what you're getting at?"

"I'm not sure if it's still possible," he answered. "But if she did show up, we would have to adopt her. She needs a home where she would be safe. Monika turned out to be real, so Natsuki and the rest would be too in theory. I would adopt them all if I could."

"I have to get ready for work," Kate said with a strange smile. It must have been hard to reconcile her generosity with the financial worries she had just been talking about. Still, the scenario going through Rob's mind seemed unlikely to materialize and he figured it was better to focus his energy on getting out of bed.

The shower was one of his secret weapons in this daily battle. He could usually count on the water to help him shake off the last of the cobwebs and get through the day. Usually. This morning he found himself resisting the urge to simply lay down and see if he could get back to sleep. This was trouble. It was coming.

Thankfully, he was still able to function enough to get Andrew and Lucas off to school. When everyone was home later, they had to make valentines for the boys to give to their classmates the next day. For the six hours the boys were gone, there were other errands to run. Monika's first piano lesson was in about an hour.

She had been quiet lately and it didn't seem like she had been sleeping very well. As the car pulled out of the driveway, Monika seemed content to just stare into space.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah," she said quietly. "Just bad dreams."

"I'm sorry to hear that," he said. "Are you looking forward to this morning?"

"I think so. I'm just not really sure what to expect."

"When I talked to her, she said she does vocal lessons too. You could do your song from the end of the game if you wanted."

That snapped her out of it. "Oh no, I can't."

"Really?"

"That song…" Monika said before pausing for a moment. "It just takes me back to that time…when I thought I would be trapped there forever. When I thought I would never get to meet you. I…I don't really want to dwell on that now."

"I understand," he said. "Sorry."

"It's okay," she said, finally smiling. "Can we listen to our song?"

"Our song? You mean Sinéad?"

She nodded enthusiastically and he reached over to navigate the car stereo and find it. To Rob's surprise, Monika began singing along. She must have been listening to it a lot on her own to pick up the words so quickly. It seemed to put her in a better mood right away. "Come on, sing with me!"

"I'd much rather listen to you," Rob said. "But I will do the big drum roll."

True to his word, he briefly took both hands off the wheel and air-drummed along with the roll right before the final chorus. Monika giggled and dramatically put one hand over her heart to nail the last section of singing. Meanwhile, Rob had to grab the wheel again quickly to keep them from going over the curb. It probably wasn't the smartest thing he had ever done while driving, but at least it had made her laugh.

There was one quick stop to make before the piano lessons. He pulled into a small parking lot next to a florist's shop.

"What are we doing here?" Monika asked.

"Tomorrow's Valentine's Day. Come on."

They walked inside and Rob realized he had a very rare opportunity. He put on his best impression of Tommy Wiseau's strange accent from _The Room_. "Hello, could I have a dozen red roses please?"

Monika burst out laughing. The woman behind the desk didn't seem amused.

"Another comedian, huh?" she asked. "I haven't seen that movie but I know the whole routine. Sorry, but there's no doggy for you to pet."

"I see," Rob said, vaguely disappointed.. "Well, I really do want the roses." The florist obliged and began to gather them. Once they were cut, he instructed her to separate them into two groups of six. Monika looked at him strangely but didn't say anything. Trying out the accent one more time, he said "Thanks a lot, bye" as they left the store.

"If only there had been a doggy to say hi to!" Monika exclaimed on the way back to the car. Before she opened her door, Rob handed her one of the rose bundles.

It looked like she forgot to breathe for a second. "For me? But…will you get in trouble?"

"I would hope not," Rob answered. "You can't go empty-handed on your first Valentine's Day."

"Thanks so much. I think I'll keep them down in the basement, just in case."

From the florist shop, it was only a few more minutes until the piano teacher's home. Mrs. Fredericks was an older lady who had retired years earlier and now supported herself with her musical expertise. When she came to the door, Rob was somewhat amused to find that she looked just like the sweet little old lady he had imagined while on the phone with her.

"You must be Monika!"

"That's me," she said. "It's nice to meet you."

"Have fun," Rob said. "I'll be back to get you."

Now that he was alone, it was time for an experiment. He wasn't sure how Monika would feel about it, so he opted not to tell her. Plus it probably wouldn't even work anyway so there was no sense getting anyone worked up over nothing. While Monika had been in the basement getting ready to leave, Rob had quickly made copies of the character files for Sayori, Natsuki and Yuri from Doki Doki Literature Club and moved them to a fresh USB drive.

He pulled over at the same field where he had met Monika. It was actually a decent day outside and Rob thought about taking the boys to the playground from school if the temperature stayed pleasant. There was much less snow to deal with this time and Rob quickly made his way to the rock where Monika had emerged. The USB he had originally brought here was on the ground below. Meeting her had been so mind-blowing that he didn't even think to pick it up but now it was obviously frozen and useless.

He set the drive with the character files on top of the rock and took a few steps back. Five minutes passed and nothing was happening. Monika had come out of the void much quicker than this. Just as he suspected, it hadn't worked. He grabbed the USB and began to walk back to the car. It had been a long shot, but now that Rob had gotten used to having Monika around, he kept thinking about the other girls. With Monika's help, he might be able to discover a way to bring the other girls here, but he wasn't sure how she would react to the suggestion. And did those three even want to leave? If only there was some way to communicate with them.

After taking a few more minutes to reflect, Rob drove back to the piano teacher's house. Monika opened the door and walked out to meet him, followed by a very enthusiastic Mrs. Fredericks.

"She's a natural!" the old woman exclaimed. "You said she knew the basics already but I didn't realize she had such talent! This is so exciting!"

Monika was trying to play it cool, but she was clearly moved by how her skill had been received. "I'll see you next week."

On the way home, she was gushing about all the classical music sheets the teacher had given her to practice, even if she was also hoping to learn more modern compositions. Rob made a joke about learning the theme from _The Room_ , which Monika actually seemed to take as a serious suggestion.

The weather held out, so a few hours later it was time to get the boys and bring them to a nearby playground. Rob and Monika sat on a bench while Andrew and Lucas ran around like maniacs. They particularly enjoyed running back up the slide after reaching the bottom.

"I keep thinking they're going to fall," Monika said.

"Nah, they have balance like mountain goats."

"Oh, like the ibex! From Planet Earth."

Rob chuckled. "Yeah, exactly."

A woman visiting the playground with her daughter also seemed to take notice of the boys' antics. She smiled and began to walk towards the bench where they were sitting. Rob had noticed that people in general found him much more approachable when he had children with him. He leaned over to Monika and spoke softly into her ear.

"Are they twins? Are they identical? How do you tell them apart? You must have your hands full."

Monika gave him a strange look as the other parent greeted them.

"They're so cute! Are they twins?"

"Yep!"

"Are they identical?"

"Nah, they're fraternal."

"Oh. They sure look identical. How do you tell them apart?"

"Once you live with them for a while, it gets pretty easy."

"You must have your hands full!"

"We sure do."

She looked at Monika. "It doesn't look like giving birth aged you at all!"

Whoops. He hadn't predicted that one. Monika was tongue-tied for a few seconds. "Um…I'm not their mother."

"Oh." The woman was clearly passing some serious judgment on them.

"She's my sister," Rob said.

"Of course! I'm sorry, Auntie!"

"No problem," Monika said nervously. Finally, mercifully, the woman went back to paying attention to her own kid. Rob turned to Monika and they both chuckled. They went back to watching the boys, who had moved to the small climbing wall on the other end of the playscape.

Monika spoke up. "Rob, the other night…Kate told me about what happened at your job."

He hadn't expected to hear this, but it was hardly a surprise. It might have been inevitable. "Well, at least you guys are talking."

"She also said you…you don't want to work again?"

He sighed. "It's not that simple. I mean, yes, I'm not eager to start busting my ass for nickels and dimes again, but there are other things to think about. If I start working full-time, then I might not be around when the school day ends. I definitely won't be around to clean up the mess they make every morning…or clean all the dishes and clothes they go through. That's the irony of this whole thing. There's plenty of work to do at home, it's just not the kind of work you get paid for. I'm not doing much to help pay the bills so even though I have plenty to do, I still feel…useless."

Rob looked at Monika's expression and instantly regretted giving that little monologue. Might as well have just saved some time by hanging a sign around his neck saying "I'm insecure about this." There was something else in her eyes. Not pity, but fear. He had seen this look a few times in the last several days and it wasn't until this moment that he finally figured out why.

"You know, don't you?"

She nodded slowly. "Kate didn't tell me. I figured it out for myself." He was overcome with shame. Out of all the different feelings depression brought on, it was the shame that he hated the most. Rob looked away from her and watched the boys until she spoke again.

"Why were you so afraid to tell me? You barely tell me anything about yourself. Did I do something wrong?"

"No," Rob said quickly. He didn't want her to blame herself for any of this and weighed the pros and cons of telling her more. There were two competing voices in her head. A more rational voice urged him to be forthcoming.

 _She loves you. She's told you that. She puts up with your heavy metal and your potty mouth and your Tommy Wiseau impressions and your secretive bullshit because she loves you. It's okay._

But there was another meaner, louder voice. One that rarely had anything nice to say.

 _She only loves you because she's been digitally brainwashed. As soon as she's fully adjusted to living here, she will understand just how worthless you are._

He managed to push the competing arguments aside and focused on what would be best for Monika. With that in mind, he figured that if she already knew he had severe depression, it was best for her to understand more about it.

"I tried to keep it under wraps because I knew you were already disappointed and I didn't want to make it worse," Rob finally said. "I'm not the guy you imagined when you dreamed about coming here. I bet you wish I had sent some other dude to pick you up, somebody young and single and with a good job. Not someone like me. You would have never known the difference."

Monika shook her head. "You really think I wouldn't accept you for the way you are? The way you've accepted me despite everything that I've done? Do you think being depressed is as shameful as betraying and hurting your friends? Cause that's what I did. The more I see how your family supports each other, the more I hate myself. They were my only family and I turned on them. They would still be gone if it weren't for you."

That left him speechless. "I keep having these awful dreams," she continued. "There was one where Sayori told me that you would die. That you would get me ready to live on my own and then you would die."

"Oh God," he said softly. "I'm sorry. I had no idea you were worried enough to have a dream like that. Listen, I'm gonna be real with you right now. If I didn't kill myself back in high school when nobody fuckin' liked me, it's hard to imagine I would do it now. I don't know if that's the medicine or just my life changing, but I haven't been at that point for a long time."

Monika looked like she might cry with relief.

"I think everyone experiences it differently, but for me it's a cycle. I'm always kind of depressed and I have a tough time dragging myself out of bed every day, but usually I can still function well enough. But sometimes….sometimes it gets much worse. I guess it's like the seasons. You try to enjoy spring, summer and fall while you can but you always know, like they say on Game of Thrones, that winter is coming."

"What's Game of Thrones?" Monika asked.

"It's a really popular TV show," Rob answered. "Well, actually it was books first. I have them downstairs if you're interested."

"Is winter coming?"

"I'm afraid so," Rob said. "I can already feel it. I hope it doesn't last too long."

"We'll face it together."

At that moment, he realized he had been waiting his whole life for someone to say that. "Thank you."

"God damn it, would you please just hug me?!" Monika suddenly asked, with what sounded like an odd mixture of playfulness and genuine frustration. He still hesitated and she opted to hug him first.

"Sorry," Rob said. "That's a whole other thing. We can talk about it sometime. I'm a bit talked out for now."

Monika pulled back and smiled at him. "I'd kiss you, but I don't want that lady to think we're in an incestuous relationship."

He laughed and realized he suddenly felt a lot better.

After dinner that night, Rob was on his hands and knees picking up little pegs that came in different colors. Kate called his name, but he was too engrossed in checking under furniture to respond.

"There you are," Kate said. "We've got to make the valentines…what are you doing?"

"God damn Lite Brite," he grumbled. "Fuckin' little pieces get everywhere."

"Watch your mouth! I could use some help when you're done."

"I can help," Monika said. Kate was quiet for a moment, but then she shrugged and led her to the table. About ten minutes later, he finally had all the Lite Brite pieces he could find back in a little box. If he was lucky, they would stay there for at least 24 hours.

He walked into the other room and watched everyone at work. Monika and Kate sat on opposite ends of the table, cutting hearts out of construction paper and helping the boys write their names in marker on each one. Rob felt so much love in his heart for all of them that he wondered if it would burst. If only that were enough to beat depression. As he looked past them to the window, he noticed that it was starting to snow again.


	10. Chapter 10: Reaching Out

Monika was shocked when she finally woke up and looked at the clock on the nightstand near her bed. This was the latest she had slept since she had arrived in this reality and she must have been incredibly tired not to wake up during Lucas and Andrew's usual morning mayhem.

The moral of the story? Check the running time of a movie before you watch it. Monika had decided to watch a highly acclaimed film called _Lawrence of Arabia_ after everyone went to bed, but nobody had told her that it was nearly four hours long. It was definitely good but she was nearly falling asleep on the couch for most of the last hour.

As she stepped out of her room, something made a crinkling noise beneath her feet. She knelt down and found that a note had been left for her.

 _Monika,_  
 _Please keep an eye on Rob today. He's in really bad shape this morning. I wish I could be there but I have a staff meeting this morning._  
 _Kate_

She must have been deeply concerned to ask Monika for help, but it was strangely flattering. She often felt like Rob's wife was a rival but Monika had realized lately that she also wanted her approval. Kate worked an ungodly (no pun intended) amount of hours and came home to two energetic children and a husband who was constantly fighting his own brain in order to stay alive. Was this respect that she was feeling?

The music coming from upstairs was Monika's first clue that something was really wrong. Rob never listened to anything with such a low tempo and the lyrics were very bleak.

 _These days my hands are tied_  
 _These days I think you'll find_  
 _I'm not me now, the light has died_  
 _It's too real to run and hide_  
 _It's too real_

Monika steeled herself for what was to come. Rob had warned her and done his best to prepare her. She could handle this.

As she came upstairs, she saw Rob standing next to his desk. He was holding that assassin's dagger of his out in front of him, seemingly admiring it. When he tilted the blade towards himself, Monika lost it.

"Put that down!" she shrieked. "Put that down NOW!"

Monika ran forward and tried to snatch the dagger out of his hands. With a bewildered look on his face, he lowered it but didn't put it down. She furiously pounded his chest with both fists.

"You idiot!" Monika shouted. "You fucking stupid jerk!" After hitting him for a few more seconds, she got tired and let her head fall against his chest as she sobbed.

"Monika, what in the hell…."

She looked up at him and watched as he had some kind of awful realization.

"Oh shit," he said quietly. "Yuri. Oh Monika, I'm sorry. I wasn't going to do anything like that, I swear. I just…like to think about it sometimes."

"Passive suicidal ideation," she replied. "Although you're really testing the boundaries of the word 'passive.'"

"I'll put it away, okay?" Rob placed it back in the box on top of his desk while Monika sat down on the couch. Her breathing felt strange and there was a sharp pain in her chest.

"I think I'm having a heart attack," she said.

"Panic," Rob said. "It happens to me sometimes. Do you want some Xanax? That usually helps."

"Sure," Monika answered. "Give me that shit."

He gave her a small white pill with a glass of water and Monika wasted no time in taking it. "How could you do that to me?"

"I didn't think you would see it," he said. "I'm really sorry."

"Sit down," she said, patting the couch with her hand. He did. "I need a distraction so I don't pass out. Try and explain to me what this is all about. Why would you fantasize about something like that?"

He sighed, probably wondering whether or not he should really answer that. A few days ago, he probably would have avoided the subject but since that day at the park, she seemed to have finally gained his trust.

"Sometimes I think about the nice things people would say at my funeral. I also think that it would be really exciting to learn what comes after death…maybe the depression would stay behind. But these days it's all about the life insurance."

Monika turned to him with a skeptical look. "Life insurance? After a suicide? Come on, I haven't been here that long but I know that's not going to work."

Rob smiled mischievously. "Kate and I played them for suckers. We started looking into it shortly after the boys were born, right around the same time that I was going to start going on medication. We held off just long enough to sign the papers so that they wouldn't find out and try to charge us a fortune. There was actually a clause in the contract that said after a few years, the life insurance payment would come even after a suicide."

That scared her. He had really thought this through. She grabbed one of his hands with both of hers. "Money is not a substitute for a father! Or a husband. Or…whatever you are to me, if I ever figure that out."

"You're sweet," Rob said. "I know what you're saying is true, but I…I just worry. If one of the boys ever got sick, and I mean really sick with something much worse than asthma, we'd go bankrupt. Whether I was working or not."

"But don't the boys have health insurance?"

"They do, but you can't count on that. They could decide we're too expensive and drop us whenever they feel like it. It's crazy and since the goddamn politicians can't agree on it, the rules are always changing. You just never feel secure and that's hard for me because I'm constantly feeling insecure about myself, never mind the rest of the world."

"It's okay," Monika said gently. "The boys are happy and healthy. Don't torture yourself like this. Let's just relax, okay? Let me hold you…if you're okay with that of course."

"I've also been really worried about the other girls," Rob said. "I don't know what happened to them after the game ended. I'm glad that you're here in a safe place, but what about them? You and Kate look after me, but who will look after Sayori?"

A few stray tears ran down his cheeks and she briefly thought he was crying for himself, but then she realized the truth. He was crying for Sayori. Her face flushed with rage and jealousy. Of course it was Sayori. It was always about Sayori. Monika was right here sitting next to him and it was still all about Sayori. If she had come through that dimensional tear instead of Monika, she probably would have learned about Rob's depression in minutes instead of having to drag it out of him. It wasn't fair!

Monika caught herself slipping into old habits and squashed those thoughts before they could get too out of control. There was no need to be jealous. This had nothing to do with romance, it was about empathy. Empathy was one of the qualities she liked about him, after all. They had mentioned Sayori a few times and he had never said anything remotely accusatory to Monika about what happened, even though he had every right to.

Maybe she could help. "Rob…what was it like for you to meet Sayori?"

"That hit pretty close to home," he said. "I wanted so badly to be able to talk to her. Instead, she had to rely on that fuckin' moron."

So this was what his distaste for the main character was about. She should have figured. "What would you have said to her?"

He briefly shook with emotion. She instinctively rested a hand on his shoulder. "I would have told her that I knew what she was going through. I would have told her that I had been there and survived. I would have told her that were was treatment out there and even though depression never totally goes away, you can at least make enough progress to get some of your life back. But I couldn't say any of that. I had to watch as that dumb sack of shit made it sound like her keeping it to herself was somehow unfair to HIM."

"He just didn't really understand depression," Monika said.

"I don't give a good goddamn if he understood depression or not. When someone's suffering, you don't slap them with more guilt. And then on top of everything else, Sayori doesn't show up for their morning walk and he doesn't even check on her! Stupid motherfuckin' piece of SHIT!"

Monika flinched away from him. She had read that irritability was a common symptom of depression but she had never seen him so genuinely furious. While trying to think of something to stay, she noticed that her eyelids suddenly felt very heavy.

"Ugh, I'm tired."

"That's the Xanax," Rob said. "It usually works pretty fast. I'm tired too. Should we nap?"

"That sounds nice," Monika said dreamily. They both laid back on the couch and snuggled close. She was surprised at how natural this felt now. They really had grown closer over the last few weeks. Maybe one of these days she could get a hug from him without prompting.

About an hour later, Monika woke up. If she hadn't slept so late that morning, she might have been out longer. Rob was still out cold and she gently disentangled herself from their embrace. As she got off the couch, she noticed Rob's laptop sitting on his desk and got an idea. It was a little scary, but it might make him feel a lot better.

She looked over his desktop screen and sure enough there was a folder labeled "DDLC." Monika briefly entertained the idea of playing the game herself but that seemed risky. Restarting the game would probably create a new character file for her, which could lead to a duplicate of Monika trying to find the player. She had enough competition already, thank you very much. Instead, she began to look over the game's various files. In theory, making changes to that world would be much easier from the outside than when she was inside. Drawing on her programming knowledge, she opened up several of the files and quickly typed dozens of new lines of code.

"That should do it," Monika said quietly to herself. Now came the hard part. She opened up a Notepad pile and prepared to write her message. It made her so nervous she wondered if she would need another Xanax. Eventually, her mind got stuck on one question.

If he tables were turned, would he do this for her?

Of course he would.

She took a deep breath and began to type.

 _Sayori,_  
 _I know you must hate me, but I'm writing to you for Rob's sake. I've been living with him but it hasn't been what I expected. He's married with kids, for one thing, but more importantly he has really bad depression. He saw a lot of himself in you and is worried about your safety. Rob seems about ready to murder MC for his insensitivity but I can tell he still wonders if he's to blame._

 _We just had a conversation where he told me what he wished he could say to you. I'll try to paraphrase as best I can. He knows what you've been through. He's been where you were and lived to talk about it. Depression doesn't ever totally go away but there's treatment and you can get some of your life back. That was the gist of it. He's cried for you, so even if you don't want to talk to me, please let us know if you're okay._

 _Before I finish, I do want to say that I'm sorry. I thought I knew everything about our world and what to expect in this one and that knowledge justified my actions. I knew nothing. I've had to grow up a lot since I came here and I understand how badly I failed you. I love you all and I wish you happiness._  
 _Monika_

She wondered if she could include what Rob had suggested to her about all the events in the game being predetermined by the creators. Would that be enough to earn her forgiveness? Probably not. It didn't do much to make Monika feel better so she didn't imagine it would lessen Sayori's pain at all.

While she was waiting for a reply, Rob stirred and realized it was almost time to get the boys. He went into the bathroom and came out looking surprisingly normal. Nothing would give away his depression…except for his eyes. Monika would be hard-pressed to explain it, but when she looked into his eyes she saw years of pain behind them.

A few minutes after he drove off, she saw that a new text file had appeared in the DDLC folder. She pushed through her trepidation and opened it.

 _Monika,_  
 _I never expected to hear from you. So you really did find him in the end. I hope you realize that the only reason that was even possible was because he couldn't bring himself to completely delete you. On that note, I'm not surprised at the thoughts Rob shared with you, or that he still cares for us even though he's been cut off from the game. Monika, I swear that if you hurt him or mess up his life, I will find a way to follow you and I'll make you eat that giant bow of yours._

Joke's on you, Monika thought petulantly. That bow was long gone.

 _I suppose you might wonder what's been happening here. My depression's not much of an issue anymore. I can manipulate my own character file the same way you did and I've been able to make things easier for myself. I have to admit, now I can understand how scary it was for you to gain the knowledge that comes with being President of the Literature Club. It would be easy to surrender to selfish desires like someone else I know, but he saved me. Once I understood the true nature of this reality, I wondered if I would lose it but instead all I could feel was the love he left behind. Rob might be mad at MC, but he was able to work through him to brighten things for all of us, especially Yuri and Natsuki. There's no need to follow the demands of the "game" anymore, so I've changed things to make this a safer place for my club members. Natsuki never has to see her father again and Yuri can spend her time with people who make her feel at ease._

 _We read books, write poems and enjoy tea and cupcakes at sleepovers. It's not all that much but given the truth of what we are, it's enough. Everyone is happy and that's all I ever wanted. I once wanted it for you too, but you clearly didn't feel the same way about me. Tell Rob that I love him. Tell him I'm safe and he doesn't need to worry. Make sure he understands that what happened was your fault, not his. Yuri and Natsuki send their love too. They miss him terribly and I think they know more about what's going on here than they let on. You've been given a chance for something special, Monika. Make the most of it._  
 _Sayori_

Monika wondered for a moment if that was really Sayori. Although she may have reacted to the truth about the Literature Club in a more constructive way than Monika had, it was still clearly weighing on her. She sounded tired and disillusioned, but Rob would still be relieved to hear that her life was no longer in danger.

Not long afterward, the door burst open and Andrew and Lucas began their typical whirlwind of destruction before settling down and playing with toy trucks. Monika approached Rob, who was unpacking their backpacks.

"Rob, Sayori sends her love."

He stopped what he was doing immediately. "You talked to her?! Is she okay?!"

"She's fine," Monika answered. "She's been altering her character file to keep her depression under control. The others are safe too."

Rob placed a hand over his heart and exhaled. "That's good to hear. I wish I could do that. Thank you so much for reaching out."

"Sure."

He glanced over and seemed to take note of her forlorn expression. "She was hard on you, wasn't she?"

Monika gave a sad little laugh. "Yeah, but that's not really unexpected or anything. I tried to apologize but she didn't even acknowledge that. She says if I hurt you, she'll hunt me down and make me eat my bow."

"But that bow got all ripped up."

"I know! That's what I said! She thinks she's so clever."

Rob took her hand, which made her gasp. He was not usually this affectionate. "How about I talk to her? I can tell her how much you've changed since you came here."

"No thanks. At least…not now."

"Okay. I'm sorry you had your feelings hurt for my sake."

"Don't apologize," she said, squeezing his hand. "I wanted to do something nice for you."

"Well, you sure did. I can't even tell you how much better that makes me feel."

She smiled at him. "A shorter winter this time?"

"That'd be nice, huh? But I can't say for sure."

Later that night, Monika relaxed on the couch while Rob tried to get the boys off the counters again. Kate walked into the living room with some papers and sat down on the other end.

"Lucas, remember what I told you about the micro-Owch! Fucking shit!"

They both turned around and saw Rob holding a hand over his nose while Lucas stood next to an open microwave door looking very confused. It was easy to piece together what had happened.

"Can you please cool it with the swearing around them?" Kate asked.

"That's hardly my concern right now," Rob shot back. "Ugh, I think it's bleeding. I gotta go clean myself up."

"I'll be on microwave duty," Kate said.

"For Christ's sake, I should get workman's comp for this shit," he grumbled as he walked towards the bathroom.

Monika looked at Kate. "Do you care that he just used the lord's name in vain?"

Kate shook her head. "You have to pick your battles sometimes. How did today go?"

"It was hard. I don't know how you do this all the time."

"I'm not sure either," Kate replied. "Maybe one day we should talk about something besides him. Something tells me we're both going to need a break."

Monika was touched. "Sure, that sounds fun."


	11. Chapter 11: Hugs

If it weren't for his kids, Rob had no idea how long he would stay in bed each morning. Even with them as motivation to get up, he would fight off the urge to go back to sleep for most of the morning, especially in the midst of a major depression episode like he was having now. He considered laying down in the bathtub during the shower and just nodding off while feeling the warm water. Surely he'd get at least ten minutes in before someone realized he had disappeared. Rob was able to resist the temptation and was now playing with Andrew and his toy cars. It was a welcome excuse to lay on the floor.

Andrew had a few train cars joined together by little magnetic buttons while Rob was driving a black semi truck.

"Stop, Daddy! The train is crossing."

Rob did as he was told and let the train pass. Then as he moved the truck forward, Andrew pushed another truck quickly into his path. The collision was inevitable.

"Daddy, you crashed me!"

"Well, you drove out right in front of me. I couldn't stop in time."

"Now the police are gonna come," he said, reaching for his little police car, complete with a siren. The people who made some of these toys were apparently determined to annoy parents as much as possible.

Once they were at school, Rob sat at his desk to relax for a few minutes before he had to head to the party store to buy decorations for the boys' birthday party. The store he was meant to visit was a few towns over. He could definitely find the stuff they needed somewhere closer, but Kate had a coupon for this particular place. Not taking advantage of reduced prices was a cardinal sin in her world, to the point where he wondered if it was in the Bible somewhere.

He glanced at the DDLC folder on his computer desktop and realized he hadn't actually read the letter Monika received from Sayori. He opened up the game looking for text files but didn't find any. Monika must have deleted them. Or maybe she made the whole thing up? No, she wouldn't do that. There was something else in there, though. It was a GIF file labeled "For Rob!"

After hesitating briefly, he double-clicked the file and was amazed at what he saw. In about two-dozen frames of animation, Sayori was blowing a kiss with the words "Stay strong! I love you!" situated above her head. He couldn't believe it. How could it be that women from a video game cared for him so much more than most people he had met in his own life?

Rob caught a whiff of coffee and realized he hadn't heard Monika come upstairs.

"Well, isn't she just the cutest thing." Acid dripped from her every word.

"She might be cute but she can't go with me to run errands, can she?"

Monika gave him a coy little grin. "Where are we going?"

"We've got to get some party decorations for the boys," he answered. "Balloons, paper ribbons, shit like that."

"How many people are coming to the party?"

"Let me think. My parents, Kate's parents, Kate's siblings and their kids, a few friends with kids the same age. My buddy Matt is actually in town from Maryland this weekend, so he'll be able to come. Oh, and my grandmother."

"The one from Poland?"

"That's right," he said, pleased that she remembered. "She actually likes to go by Babci, which is what we would call her if our family still lived there."

"That's a lot of people to meet," Monika said.

"Yeah," he agreed. "I would be scared as hell if I were you. But you're more outgoing than me, so I think you'll manage."

"I hope so."

The drive to the party store took them on the highway for a few exits. In a break from the usual routine, Rob granted Monika's request to listen to some of the classical pieces she was learning for her piano lessons. He also remembered why he didn't typically listen to this sort of stuff in the car. It was so relaxing he wondered if he would fall asleep at the wheel. On days like this, he wondered if he really had depression or narcolepsy.

Monika turned and noticed his rapidly blinking eyes. "Please be careful! Would it help if I yelled something at a really high pitch about war and corruption?"

He couldn't help but laugh. She talked to him enough to keep him awake until they reached the store.

"This is why you should drink coffee," she said. He should have known that was coming.

Once they got inside the store, Monika seemed to revert to a child herself. If it were up to her, they might have walked out with at least one of everything. She was carrying so many balloons in so many different colors that Rob wondered if she would float way once they stepped outside, like the house in _Up._

The extra items they were leaving the store with likely canceled out whatever money he saved with Kate's coupon, but she didn't need to know that. After struggling to squeeze the balloons into the back seat of the car, Rob invited Monika for lunch at one of his favorite places.

Everyone who knew that Rob had depression had, at one point or another, told him to count his blessings. As far as advice goes, it was a little tone deaf. Depression didn't give a shit how many blessings you had, it still wanted you dead. Nevertheless, he would occasionally give it a try and high on that list was a good burger. They were at one of his favorite local places to get one, but Monika was looking at him with obvious disappointment.

"You eat a lot of meat," she said.

"Sure do."

She put on her sweetest little puppy dog face. "Do you think you could give it up? For me?"

Her beautiful eyes might have gotten her an expensive winter coat, but they weren't coming anywhere near his burgers. "No way."

She pouted hilariously and he continued. "Would you be willing to start eating meat if I asked you to?"

"No!"

"Well, there you go. Don't be a hypocrite."

"But haven't you ever had second thoughts about it?" Monika asked.

"Not really," he said. "This cow's already dead. I'm not doing it any favors by not eating it."

"Stop it," she said back. "That's not what I mean and you know it. It's horrible for the planet! I just got here and I want it to last."

"People have been eating meat since the Stone Age," Rob said. "But it's only been a danger to the Earth for the last century or so, if that. So the problem is obviously not what we eat. The problem is that we have these corporate interests that developed a factory-style approach to agriculture that tries to squeeze every last penny out of the process regardless of the harm it does."

"But you're just using that as an excuse not to do anything!" She was getting pissed now.

"Says who?" he asked. "We've got a recycling bin. We use florescent light bulbs. We've got Energy Star appliances and all that other shit. I'd like solar panels but we can't afford them, and that's actually a key point. I don't know why the burden for saving the planet always gets put on the back of your average person without much money and with no influence on the government's environmental policy. We make regular people feel ashamed for not taking short enough showers, but meanwhile these companies are always dumping toxic shit into the water and pay off the government so they can keep doing it. Depriving myself of one of my favorite foods is not going to fix the real problems."

Monika shook her head in disbelief. "You come up with the most elaborate justifications for being stubborn."

"I'll take that as an admission of defeat."

"No! Look, I know those companies suck too-"

"They suck _too?!_ You mean they suck _in addition to me?_ "

She laughed out loud. "Yes!"

He suppressed his own laughter but a little smile got through. "Eat your fuckin' salad."

The animated discussion had done wonders to perk him up and he suspected the drive home would be no problem. At one point towards the end of their meal, they locked eyes and for a moment, all of Rob's insecurities and doubts faded away. For that instant, he truly believed that she cared about him. It wouldn't sound like much to most people, but for him that was no small thing.

Back on the highway, they were having another pleasant conversation when one car's unusual motion in the rear view mirror caught Rob's attention.

"Look at this shit-faced cockmaster behind us."

Monika turned her head around. There was a yellow Ferrari weaving back and forth across the highway in an effort to get ahead of as many other cars as possible.  
"That really doesn't look safe," she said.

"I can't stand it when people do that," Rob replied. "He's putting everyone else at risk for what? To shave a few seconds off his commute?"

"Well, he'll be ahead of us soon at this rate. Then we won't have to worry."

"Maybe not," he said. "I think I need to teach him a lesson."

She turned towards him. "Rob, what are you talking about?"

"I'll need some Eurobeat if I'm going to pull this off." He reached for the stereo and found a familiar playlist. Ever since his teenage years, Rob found he could draw power from whatever music he was listening to. If he needed to cry, the right sad song could help him get the tears out. If he felt like his anger was getting out of control, heavy metal made him like he had been heard. If he needed to be inspired, the right epic song could bring him a brief burst of confidence. If he wanted to spite some asshat in a sports car, Eurobeat was the only way to go.

As soon as the song started, Monika seemed to realize there was trouble coming.

"Here we go!" the singer called out shortly before the main riff kicked in. Rob sped forward in the right lane and began to drive parallel to the car in the left lane.

"Please tell me what you're doing," Monika said.

"This is a two-lane highway," he explained. "In order for him to keep getting ahead of everyone, he needs space in one of the lanes. But if I drive perfectly parallel with the car over there, he's got no way to pass us. I'm basically forcing him to drive like a civilized human being."

"What if he hits us?!"

"Nah, he's not gonna bang up his Ferrari." With the music in full swing, Rob felt like a god. The Ferrari came closer and closer, weaving back and forth behind the two cars looking for a gap big enough to squeeze through. The driver to Rob's left seemed to catch on to what he was up to and held her position.

"You are crazy," Monika said. "You're out of your mind."

"Look at this clown trying to intimidate me," Rob said as the Ferrari came within what looked like inches of hitting them. "There is definitely some compensation going on here. The guy's probably got a dick the size of a grain of rice."

Monika turned her head around again. "He looks really mad. Don't you think the point has been made by now?"

"Please," Rob said dismissively. "I've survived terrorist attacks. I'm not afraid of this dipshit."

Monika's eyes practically bugged out of her head. " _WHAT?!_ "

"No time to go into details," he said. "Gotta keep my concentration. Start the song over again, will ya?"

Reluctantly, she did. After another few minutes of basking in the frustration of the jerk behind them, Monika noticed a large sign ahead of them.

"Road work ahead," she read aloud. "Expect delays."

Rob chuckled. This would work out even better than he expected. The exit closest to his house was probably right in the middle of the upcoming traffic jam, but he knew the area well enough to get there via the back roads.

"We're going to get off early," he said as an exit drew closer. As soon as the car moved far enough to the right, the Ferarri roared past them. "Enjoy the traffic, asshole."

Monika breathed a heavy sigh of relief once they were off the highway. "No. More. Eurobeat. Ever."

Rob laughed mischievously. "That was awesome."

"It was NOT awesome," Monika said. "You may not value your life, but I do."

His smile disappeared. What a buzzkill.

"But…" she added. "It was kinda righteous."

For the rest of the ride home, she badgered him about his reference to terrorism. Although Rob now trusted Monika with details of his past, those were dark memories and he wasn't quite ready to delve into them. Maybe in September, when it would be more appropriate.

There was one person who knew much more about the incident and the next day, Rob walked into her familiar office. He had been seeing his therapist Lilly for almost ten years and planned to keep at it until she retired (or he died, whichever came first). He had been through enough bad therapists to know that when you find a good one, you stick with them. There were male therapists out there and some that were undoubtedly good, but for him there was never any question he would work with a woman. Not because he was looking for romance, obviously, but because the idea of opening up about his problem to another man was incomprehensible. If Monika thought she was having a hard time getting details out of him about his life now, imagine if she had been a dude.

Sometimes he would show up for the weekly appointment feeling too scatterbrained or tired to start talking right away. Lilly would have to pry it out of him a little but eventually there was always something worthwhile to get into. Today was different. Rob had mentioned Monika in his sessions before but there was one lingering issue he hadn't discussed. In fact, he had never talked about this subject.

"How are things with your houseguest?" Lilly asked after a few minutes of more generic chatting.

"Mostly good. Monika's good company. There's one thing, though."

"Oh?"

"Well...she hugs me a lot. And I hug back, it's sweet. But I don't ever hug her first. I know that bothers her, but…I have issues with that stuff."

"What sort of issues?"

Rob sighed. "I'm…I feel like something bad will happen."

Lilly raised her eyebrow. "Oh, is this because of what happened with Colleen?"

"No, not that kind of bad. Bad like…rejection."

"Oh, I see. How old is that feeling?"

"I think it goes back to high school." Rob began. "I did some youth theater stuff back then."

"Was that fun?" Lilly asked.

"Yeah. I was never really meant to be an actor, but it was fun. When you're in a play or something like that, the cast tends to get pretty close by the end. When we did Romeo and Juliet-"

Lilly was very excited to hear that. "Were you Romeo?"

He laughed. "No way. I was Friar Laurence."

"That's not a bad part. But anyway, keep going."

"Right before one of the shows, one girl went around and hugged every single person in the cast. I thought that was really nice so I tried it the next time. Well, there was one girl who really didn't want my hug and I was too fuckin' oblivious to realize it."

"But everyone else was okay with it?"

"As far as I knew. But this one girl was going around school saying that I forced her into a hug she didn't want and that I was stalking her and everything else. I got all pissed off and defensive and it just escalated from there. Thank God social media wasn't around back then or it would have been all over that shit too."

"How does that story end?"

"I just left her alone like she wanted. Since then, I figured it was always much safer to assume that nobody ever wanted to hug me."

"Not even Kate?"

"She did something not many people have managed to do."

"What was that?"

"She made me totally believe that she cared about me. That's difficult. Kate's had some of her family and friends ask her if I don't like them. I like them just fine, but I don't go for the hugs."

"What about Monika? Do you think of her as a friend? Or as family?"

"I think…she's becoming my best friend."

Lilly smiled gently and took a moment to digest all the information he had just given her. "You know, I go to these conferences for mental health professionals. There's this group of therapist friends I have that are always there and whenever we see each other, we're hugging constantly. Everyone's saying stuff like 'Oh, I just love you' and it might sound silly, but nobody ever gets offended or rejected."

Rob didn't say anything, so Lilly kept talking. "We all need loving friendships in our lives. We might have our spouses and our children but that shouldn't be all there is. Hugging a stranger or someone you don't know very well is risky, but I think it's a little sad that you're afraid to hug your best friend, don't you?"

Her words sat with him for the entire drive home. There was no Eurobeat this time. He played the kind of stuff that could hardly be called driving music, mostly slow and acoustic songs. There was one song in particular that made him think of Monika and all she had gone through.

Rob opened the door to his house and saw her walking away from the movie collection. She must have just finished watching something. Fighting hard against his doubts and fears, he pulled her close to him. Monika made a small surprised noise but happily stayed in his arms.

"Is everything okay?" she asked.

"I think so," he replied. "Sorry I'm such a…basket case."

"I wish you could see yourself the way that the Literature Club sees you."

"That would be interesting."

"I'm being serious," Monika said. "You made Natsuki and Yuri happier than they had ever been. And Sayori, she was dead and you still didn't give up until she was safe. No wonder she's sending you stupid love notes."

Rob chuckled. He had almost forgotten about that.

"And as for me…" she said, her voice trailing off. Monika backed away a bit and stared into his eyes. Her lips parted slightly and a little alarm bell went off in Rob's head. He gently kissed her forehead and let her go.

"So, what did you watch?"

 **Author's Note: Sorry for another long wait. I have two fanfics going at once and I felt like I was neglecting the other one. But now we're back in Doki Doki land and I had an idea for this one. A lot of songs get referenced in this story so I figured every few chapters I would list a "soundtrack" in case anyone's interested in what Rob and Monika have been listening to. Here's the first batch.**

 **Iron Maiden - Stranger in a Strange Land (Chapter 3)**  
 **Victoria - Stay (Chapter 6)**  
 **Within Temptation - Sinead (Chapter 6)**  
 **Anathema - Harmonium (Chapter 10)**  
 **GO 2 - Power (Chapter 11)**  
 **Katatonia - Pale Flag (Chapter 11)**


	12. Chapter 12: The Missing Pieces

The house was unusually quiet. Monika wandered the upstairs and could find no evidence that anyone had been here. The toys were in their proper places, the counters were clean and there weren't even any crayon marks on the walls. Just as she was about to check the driveway for parked cars, she heard a strange noise coming from the bedroom.

The door was open, so she carefully walked in and was surprised to see two figures lying under the blankets with a pile of discarded clothes on the floor. At first she was mortified, thinking she had just barged in on a private moment between husband and wife. But then the woman sat up, revealing her bare back. This wasn't Kate. Kate didn't have strawberry blonde hair with a bow in it.

Sayori turned her head back towards her. "Oh hi, Monika," she said in the Tommy Wiseau accent.

"What…what are you doing here?"

"Pretty obvious isn't it?" Sayori asked with a satisfied grin. "I understand him better than you ever will and he loves me for it. He played through the first part of the game three times to get to know all the girls, but when it came time for my confession and he had the choice of what to say, he always said he loved me. Every time. But you already knew that, didn't you?"

Monika looked to Rob to intervene, but he seemed asleep. "He was just trying to be nice."

"He was _very_ nice to me just a few minutes ago. Uhuhu~"

Panic was beginning to set in. "I'll find Kate. You're gonna be in huge trouble then."

Sayori just laughed out loud. "Going to tell Mommy on me? Don't bother. We've all been talking and six people in this house is just too crowded. I'm afraid it's time for you to strike out on your own."

"You can't do this! I was here first!"

"Don't worry, I've picked out a super cute cardboard box for you to live in. Ehehe~"

Monika finally lost her composure and screamed at the top of her lungs. Suddenly she found herself in bed with sweat running down her forehead. It was after midnight, so Andrew and Lucas were officially five years old. The party was today so she really needed some peaceful sleep.

"My dreams are getting way too literal," she said quietly, shutting her eyes again.

She had some other dreams that were more traditionally obscure, but the Sayori one occupied her mind a few hours later as she showered. Like with most dreams, the inherent ridiculousness of the scenario was clearer as she became more awake. Sayori was many things, but some kind of avenging succubus? Probably not.

Still, the dream bothered her. Not because of its content but its implications. So many of her past obsessions and feelings from inside the game had slowly faded away in the last several weeks. But any mention of the other girls, especially Sayori, could bring back her jealous anger disconcertingly fast. Now, thanks to her selfless decision to open up communication within the Literature Club to calm Rob's anxiety about their safety, she had created a connection between him and Sayori. Had he written anything to her? She had asked him not to, but had he listened? How would she even know? He was a private person and snooping around on his computer would really piss him off.

When she was dressed, she came upstairs and things were quiet enough to make her briefly fear a reprise of her dream. Thankfully, the boys were sitting on the couch, distracted by something on the television.

"It's the colorful trains!" Lucas said.

"Do you guys like that?"

"Yeah," Andrew said. "It's my birthday!"

"It's MY birthday!" Lucas yelled.

"No Lucas, it's MY birthday!" Andrew yelled back.

"It's both of your birthdays," Kate said from the dining room.

Monika smiled and left to find her. "Happy birthday, boys!"

Kate had three helium balloons in each hand. "Take these and tie them off on that side, will you? I'll do these three."

"Sure," Monika said, grabbing at the strings. "I guess I got a little carried away in the store."

"That's okay." They each did their half of the job before Kate spoke again. "There's something I've been meaning to ask you about, but I've been a little nervous."

"You, nervous?" Monika asked. "But you run this house."

She gave a knowing smile. "I've been reading more about the game that you came from…and a lot of it doesn't paint you in a flattering light. It's strange because you've been a very low maintenance guest here but you were apparently so desperate for my husband's attention that you turned on your own friends. I'm just not sure how to feel about all of it."

Monika sighed. "I really can't disagree with any of that. All I can tell you is that things feel so different now. Rob told me that I would eventually adjust to this world and I don't think he even understood how true that's turned out to be."

She took a moment to reflect before continuing. Monika was articulating a lot of this for the first time. "If my world were really nothing but a video game, then I wouldn't be here like this, looking like you all do. I would be just…lines of code or something. I always thought it was a fake world, but it wasn't. It was just different. Smaller than this one, certainly less interesting…but still real in its own way."

"That has interesting implications," Kate said.

"I suppose it must. But then again, don't you believe that your world came from a Creator? So did mine."

"It seems that the concept of Creation is much broader than we've ever given it credit for," Kate replied. "I don't mind that so much, I'm not rigid about this stuff like other people can be. We have a saying in my church - 'God is still speaking.' It's basically our way of saying that one holy book written thousands of years ago isn't the final word on all of our questions."

"I never thought of that."

"Oh and by the way, I don't believe that God helps people pass exams or anything so trivial. Rob told me you said something like that to him during the game.. I don't think the concept of miracles works the way people usually describe. If God works to influence events on Earth, it's through us."

Monika was unexpectedly troubled by this. "I said that?"

Kate turned to her and nodded.

"I…I guess I did."

"You don't remember?"

"No," she said. "I've noticed this happening lately. I was originally written with knowledge of so many different books, but I hardly remember any of them now. I can always read them again, but…it's as if the old me is really disappearing. Little by little."

"How do you feel about that?" Kate asked.

"Right now I'm just grateful I'm taking piano lessons. I would have hated to lose that."

As they moved to hanging paper ribbons from the ceiling, there was more that Monika chose not to say. She was still prone to fits of jealousy, even as that single-minded need for Rob's affection was draining away with each new day. But what kind of feelings were replacing it? She wasn't sure.

"Was this how you thought it might end?" Kate asked. "Even though there must be tons of single teenage boys who played the game, you wound up meeting Rob. That must be…quite an adjustment."

"You're telling me," Monika said. "Every time I think I have him figured out, I realize there's some other layer I haven't even scratched the surface of." She paused.

"Where is Rob, anyway?"

"Sleeping. He was up several times because of nightmares. It happens once in a while."

"Nightmares about terrorism? Or something else?"

Kate turned, still holding up a yellow ribbon. "You've heard about that?"

"He alluded to it. What happened?"

"Rob started college in New York City in September of 2001."

Monika's blood suddenly ran cold. "You're kidding."

"No," Kate said quietly. "I've only heard bits and pieces of that story and I'm his wife. He holds that one pretty close to his chest. But I know it hardened him. He was already no innocent, but that…that left him with something dark in his heart."

The direction of this conversation was making Monika anxious. "How dark are we talking about here? Has he ever hurt anybody?"

"No," Kate said, but there was an ominous pause afterward. "But sometimes I think he believes he might have to someday. He doesn't have guns, that would be stupid with little kids living here. But he's always finding these old-timey knives and putting them in places around the house."

"Like the one on top of his desk," Monika said. She shuddered at the memories that brought. Seeing him gaze at that dagger was an image that kept haunting her.  
Kate nodded. "Yeah, I know there's also one in the bedroom closet."

"But would he really…." Monika's voice trailed off.

"You know, people underestimate him because he's always moving so slowly and he keeps to himself. But if anyone ever threatened our family, I think he'd become a different person. A dangerous person. With knives hidden all over the house."

"That sounds kind of…crazy."

"Maybe," Kate said. "But sometimes I hear about these awful stories on the news and I'm kind of grateful he's so protective."

Monika didn't know how to react. She was familiar with murderous urges, but she had believed Rob to be above that sort of thing. Then again, her own violence had been borne out of the trauma of discovering the truth about her world, or at least what she believed to be the truth. Rob has obviously suffered his own fair share of traumatic events, some of which she likely still didn't know about. Was it reasonable to expect that he hadn't been affected in some negative way? Did he have his own reserve of vengeful fury, just waiting for someone to provoke it?

Kate spoke up. "He's protective of you too."

"Really?"

"Let me show you something," Kate said, motioning for Monika to follow. "Rob has this picture on his desk. It's two wolves sitting next to two wolf pups."

"Like your family."

"Yeah, but I was dusting this morning and I noticed something." Kate pointed to the bulletin board that made up part of the six foot desk. Monika leaned over and saw the small picture. It was different than Kate had described. There were now three wolves and two pups.

I'm…I'm part of the pack?" She was deeply moved but also couldn't help some mental gloating. _Beat that, Sayori._

"I guess so," Kate replied. "I don't approve of violence, obviously. If you asked Rob, he would say the same. But any animal would do whatever it takes to protect its family. He's not any different."

All of this was putting his vigilante episode on the highway yesterday in a much more menacing light, but the man who walked out of the bedroom in pajamas looked anything but menacing. Like most mornings, he looked like he had a few hundred pounds worth of invisible weights attached to his limbs.

"You could have gotten me up earlier," Rob said, his voice a little raspy. "I know there's a lot to do."

"I need you to be in a good mood today," Kate said back. "If that means a little more work, so be it. No swearing at my brother this year, okay?"

Rob sighed. "I can't believe you remember that."

"It's hard to forget."

He made a strange little grunt and decided to change the subject. "Hey Monika, when's your birthday?"

"I've been thinking about that," she answered. "I suppose it has to be September 22, the day that Doki Doki Literature Club was released."

"That makes sense. Plenty of time to come up with some good gifts for you."

"Oh no, Rob! You're already letting me live here for free and giving me food and clothes and everything else."

Rob waved his hand as if slapping her objections away. "You're getting gifts. Make peace with it now."

Having made that declaration, he walked into the living room to see the twins. The video seemed to be wrapping up and Lucas asked him if they could listen to music on his phone. A few moments later, a thundering, vaguely Celtic-sounding metal song rang through the house.

"Oh brother," Kate said.

Monika peered into the living room and saw all three boys headbanging in unison. She couldn't help but laugh.

 _At Normandy's shore, the cannons still roar_  
 _They're haunting my dreams_  
 _They're still there when I sleep_

"Is this song about World War II?" Monika asked.

"Yes," Kate said with a groan. "He's got them listening to all sorts of songs about war and death. Any day now, there's going to be a concerned note sent home by one of their teachers. Makes me actually wish he would put on that Eurobeat stuff instead."

"Not while he's driving, you don't."

Kate's eyes widened. "Oh no. Which song was it?"

"Umm…I think it was called Power or something?"

"Oh…I'm not sure I know that one. But 'Running in the 90s' and 'Deja Vu' are the ones you really want to watch out for. Every time I hear those while we're in the car, I wonder if I'll live to see another day."

 _He charged and attacked_  
 _He went to Hell and back_

A few hours later, everything was ready and the first guests began to arrive. A handful of Kate's friends entered the house, each with at least one child of a similar age as Andrew and Lucas. The gang of children became a indistinct mass of screaming and laughing as they rushed around the house. Monika wondered if the place would still be standing after a whole afternoon of this.

It was interesting to note how Rob and Kate greeted the guests. She was effulgent (to borrow one of Yuri's favorite words) and affectionate to each person that came in. He did his best to smile but, true to form, would only accept hugs rather than offer them. Monika was worried he might fall asleep standing up until a certain car pulling up in front of the house caught his interest.

Without a word, he slipped on his sneakers and walked outside into the cold. Two people came out of the car with a passing resemblance to him, likely his parents, and all three of them walked over to the passenger side and helped a very frail looking old woman step out. This had to have been the grandmother, the one who had fled Poland just before the Nazi party started to consolidate power in Europe. Rob's father pulled a walker out of the trunk of the car and the grandmother steadied herself. Monika had never seen anyone who looked so old. Would that be her in seventy years? She didn't age inside the game, but things would be different here.

Monika introduced herself to most of the guests, but realized quickly that she couldn't necessarily relate to them very well. She didn't have any stories about a family, didn't have any experience with holding a job or even much to say about her schooling (whatever memories she once had of school outside of the Literature Club were already long gone), so all she could really do was comment on what had been going on in the few weeks she had been living here.

She couldn't take hours of this awkward routine, so Monika decided to turn the whole thing into a little game for herself. Everyone here knew Rob and Kate and it was the ideal chance to find out more about them. Her goal was now to zero in on the right people and get them to divulge something that might satisfy her curiosity or give her some insight.

Rob's parents, Marie and Gene, were leaning against a wall watching the twins play with their friends once everyone had finally settled down. One corner of the living room was covered with building blocks, toy cars and various other objects that made noise and/or had blinking lights.

"So you said you were Rob's friend from Japan?" his mother asked as she approached. "How did you even meet?"

"The internet," Monika said. "We just had some common interests and before I knew it, we were talking all the time."

Marie seemed satisfied with that. "I guess that is how most people meet their friends these days."

"You must speak some Japanese, right?" asked Gene. "Can you say something to us?"

"Sure," Monika said. That was a mistake. She searched her mind and realized that she was much of her Japanese was gone. If she couldn't come up with anything, it would be a major hole in her cover story. What was she going to do?

"Are you all right?"

"Yes, just trying to come up with something." Monika concentrated as hard as she could. She wanted to shut her eyes but that would probably seem weird. Finally, some of it was within reach and she quickly thought of something to say.

"私は訓練された動物ではない" she finally said.

"Wow!" Marie said, clearly impressed. "What does that translate to?"

"It means I hope you have a good time today with your grandkids." That was not even close to what Monika had actually said.

"What about you?" Gene said. "Have you been enjoying yourself here in Connecticut? Were you born here originally?"

"No," Monika answered. "I was born in…Idaho, but my parents and I moved to Japan when I was ten years old. It's a little strange to be back in the states, but like Rob says, it's hard to be bored in this house. We've been watching a lot of movies."

Marie sighed. "Mmm, I'll bet. Do you think you might be able to convince him to get a job one of these days?"

Monika cocked her head to the side. "He does have a job."

"Oh, right. I meant…a real job."

She let the conversation taper off from there. Monika had just gotten some major insight without having to even ask a direct question. She was even more troubled by her momentary failure to recall a language in which she was once fluent. She would have to ask Rob and Kate for some textbooks on Japanese. Unlike some of the more troublesome aspects of her former life, that was actually useful.

Kate's parents, Wendy and Leonard, gave off a totally different vibe. Rather than stand back and watch, they were seated on the floor next to the twins and their other grandkids.

"How did they meet, anyway?" Monika asked, hoping it wouldn't seem too out of the blue. However, Wendy seemed happy to tell the story.

"Before I retired, I used to be the editor of a small newspaper. During the summer when Kate was home from college, I would have her come to the office and help me out with different things. One of those summers, Rob was working as an intern and that was how it all started."

"Had they met before?"

"Yes, but only briefly. That summer was the one after Rob's first year of college and he was something of a local celebrity, much to his chagrin of course."

"So after September 11," Monika said.

"That's right," Wendy replied. "It's not every day that someone from a small town like ours survives an event like that. Everyone wanted to hear his story, but he wasn't saying a word. I think Kate initially connected with him because she understood that he would share his experiences when he was ready, if he ever was."

"How long did he work for your paper?"

"Every summer while he was in college and for a little while afterwards. Unfortunately, there just wasn't enough work to promote him to a full-time position so he had to look elsewhere."

"And then he found the paper where that whole paternity leave thing happened," Monika said. She felt like she was in a study group or something.

Leonard, who had been listening intently this whole time, finally spoke up. "What they tried to do to him was disgraceful. Lucky for the boys, they didn't know who they were messing with."

Monika glanced back at Rob's parents and couldn't believe the contrast.

The next person she spoke to actually sought her out instead of the other way around. It was Matt, Rob's longtime friend who had moved to Maryland a few years earlier.

"You said your name was Monika?" he asked.

"That's right," she said with a smile. "It's nice to meet you."

Matt looked her over quietly for a moment. "That's so bizarre…"

"I beg your pardon?"

"Sorry," he said. "It's just that you look so much like a character from a video game I played a few months back. Believe it or not, her name was Monika too."

This was unexpected, although maybe it shouldn't have been. Still, it hadn't occurred to her that someone she met today might have played Doki Doki Literature Club. All she could do now was try and bluff.

"I'm not really sure what you're talking about."

"Just a weird coincidence, I guess. Didn't mean to be a creeper. Besides, your hair's much shorter than hers."

Haircut for the win. They talked for a few more minutes and Monika began to suspect he was hitting on her. The conversation was starting to get tedious until Matt began reminiscing about the video games he and Rob used to play together, including one called "Rock Band."

"Oh, is that the one with the plastic instruments?" Monika asked. "I've seen those downstairs."

"Yeah," Matt answered. "We had some good times with that game. Alex and I would play guitar and bass, usually switching back and forth. Mark was on drums and of course Rob was the singer."

"You've heard him sing?"

He laughed. "Of course I have! I don't even know how many hours we put into that game. Rob was super into it and would practice all the time. At one point, I'm pretty sure he was ranked as one of the top 100 Rock Band singers."

"So how come I never see him playing it?"

"Well, those music games aren't as popular as they used to be. Plus, we all wound up moving away. I'm in Maryland, Mark moved to Florida and of course Alex is back in New Zealand."

Andrew and Lucas each got their own birthday cake, one decorated like a train and the other like a fire truck. Both of them looked a little nervous as everyone in the room sang "Happy Birthday" but were soon distracted by blowing out the candles as soon as possible. Once they were done with their slices of cake, it was time to open the presents. The other children crowded around to see what the boys were getting, but Monika's attention was drawn to Rob's grandmother, or "Babci."

After entering the house, she had staked out a chair in the dining room and hadn't moved much since. At her age, it likely made more sense to just relax and let the visitors come to you. With most of the guests distracted by the presents, Monika sat down next to her. She certainly looked frail, but Rob had said her wits were as sharp as ever.

"Seems like just yesterday that Rob was that age," Babci said wistfully.

"Do you have other great-grandchildren other than the twins?" Monika asked.

"Not yet. Rob is older than most of my other grandchildren, but if I stick around long enough, I may get to meet some more."

"What was he like as a baby?"

Babci laughed at the memories. "He was a very unique little boy. He seemed at peace with the world from the first day on. He almost never cried and that spoiled Marie and Gene. They thought any child would be that easy to deal with but then Lauren and Alex proved them wrong."

Lauren? Who was that? Alex was the brother, but there was another sibling? Why hadn't anyone mentioned her?

As the sun began to set, the guests said goodbye and walked outside to their cars. Matt was the only one who lingered and once the house was otherwise clear, he and Rob left to get themselves chicken wings for dinner. Again with the meat.

"When do you get a night out?" Monika asked Kate, who was already working on a list of thank you notes she needed to write despite having thanked everyone in person. Her conscientiousness was quite a sight to behold.

"I'm out so many nights for work that I'm not always eager," she answered. "But I know you've been mostly housebound for a while so we should do something. Maybe sometime in the next week or so."

"And we can go somewhere with vegetarian options?"

"Yeah of course."

Monika almost asked about the third sibling but decided against it just before opening her mouth. She felt like Rob needed to explain this himself.

That chance came the following morning when, after finally cleaning up the mess left by the party, Kate took the boys to their children's gymnastics class. Rob was perusing the day's news on his computer (at least she assumed it was the news, given to his cursing every few minutes) as Monika approached and laid a hand on his shoulder.

"Did you have a good time yesterday?" he asked.

"It was fine," Monika answered. "But I have something I want to ask you about. I heard you have a sister?"

"Yeah. Lauren."

"So…what's the story there? Why wasn't she here for the party? Do you guys not get along?"

He was quiet but she couldn't figure out exactly how he felt, even when he spoke. "No, it's nothing like that. Would you like to go see her?"

"Huh?" Monika hadn't been expecting that. "Um…sure. Is it a long drive?"

"Nah, only about twenty minutes."

She had more questions but she figured if she was going to meet Lauren, they could wait. During the drive, Rob deferred to her in terms of the music they listened to and seemed to be deep in thought. Once they left the town he lived in (and the only area on this whole planet Monika now felt familiar with), the roads seemed to get smaller and with less buildings on either side. Finally, he turned left onto a small road that went uphill. It wasn't until they reached the top that she realized where he had taken her.

A cemetery.


	13. Chapter 13: Connection

The look of dawning realization on Monika's face was one Rob had seen many times before. Whenever someone in his life found out about Lauren's death, they would immediately decide that it explained everything about him. Were they entirely wrong? He couldn't even count the number of times Lilly questioned him about his feelings until his sister was inevitably brought up.

After the brief walk to her grave, Monika knelt down to get a look at the inscription. "Born 1985, died…1988? But that means you were just a kid!"

"Five years old. Same as the boys."

Monika placed her hand over her mouth in shock at the implications of that comment. It must have been nice not to worry about it every day the way he did. Despite all he had been through in his life, his absolute worst fear was for one of his children to have to grow up without the other. To turn out like him.

Whenever he thought about her death, there was a paradox that continued to baffle him. Was he a depressed adult because this happened to him as a child? But depression was supposed to be a biological illness, so was he doomed to be depressed regardless of how his life went? He hated that thought. Blaming his depression on being hurt so badly as a child at least gave it some weight and meaning. Or was it similar to a person's capacity for addiction? If a potential addict never has a drop of alcohol, he won't become an alcoholic. Was the risk of depression always there and he had just been unlucky enough to suffer a major loss to get the ball rolling? He wasn't sure he would ever know.

"How did it happen?" Monika asked softly.

"Congenital heart defect," he answered. "She was in and out of the hospital since she was born. If she was born now, they could probably save her, but this was the 1980s."

"Do you remember her?"

"A little bit," he said. "I'm grateful for that. It's not much, just a few moments that I've been able to hold onto. As far as the death itself, that's gone. I've got a whole year of my life that just went down a black hole. I don't even remember being told that it happened, although obviously I was."

"What about your brother?" Monika asked. "How old was he?"

"He wasn't actually born until 1990 so he missed this whole thing. He's like me in a lot of ways, except for this. If you ever meet him, you'll understand the difference right away."

"Your memories of her…what are they like?"

"The most substantial one I have is us sitting at a table. She asked me to draw a bird. She would name a body part and I would add it to the bird. We got to the end and she said 'make its feets.'"

He smiled a little bit. "I knew that wasn't right grammatically, but I kept that to myself. Didn't want to hurt her feelings."

Monika looked like she wanted to say something else, but instead she suddenly buried her face in her hands. Was she crying?

"What's wrong?"

She stood up and tried to compose herself. "It isn't fair."

He gave a slight nod. "No, it's not. I'm glad you agree."

Monika wrapped one arm around his waist and leaned her head against his shoulder. "Me and my big mouth, huh? I didn't mean to bring all this up."

"This was always going to happen at some point," Rob said.

"When I found out I was in a game, it only took me a few days to snap. You've been living with this for thirty years. I'm so weak."

"Don't do that," Rob gently admonished. "It's not fair to yourself."

"I just feel very young…and very silly."

"You know, we moved into a new house sometime after she died. It was being built while she was in the hospital. It's not too far from here, actually."

"Do you remember that?"

"I don't remember moving in, but there was one day I was playing out on the front lawn. There were some woods right on the edge of the property and I was just goofing around. I didn't see the copperhead until it was almost too late."

Monika looked up at him. "A copperhead? That's a snake, isn't it?"

"Yeah. It's not even that big, but to a little kid that fucker was larger than life. Not to mention that poison is a lot more dangerous when you're young."

"What happened?"

"My Dad rushed over and beat it to death with a shovel. I think he was venting some anger. Can you imagine that? One child already dead and another one being threatened by a poisonous snake?"

She squeezed him just a little harder. "No, I can't."

"Monika, if there's one thing I'd like you to take away from this, it's that life in this world is not planned out like a game. It's random and we can lose everything in the blink of an eye. You've got to treasure the people who care about you while they're still here."

"I know what you're getting at," she said. "You want me to make things right with the girls."

"When you're ready," Rob replied. "And when they're ready."

They stood there for a few more minutes; the only noises were the gusts of wind that passed over the top of the hill. Just before Rob was ready to walk back to the car, he caught notice of a few tiny white snowflakes.

"Oh look, it's snowing."

"Not again!" Monika said. "It's supposed to be Spring!"

He laughed. "Welcome to New England."

She didn't say much during the ride home, but she did hold his hand for the short walk back to the car and for most of the drive. Back at home, the twins were eager to play and Rob took turns carrying them around the house on his back. Monika watched most of this with a slight smile but her mind was clearly elsewhere.

By the time Andrew and Lucas were in bed, Rob began to feel guilty. He didn't intend for her to be sad for the entire day and was forced to reckon with a truth that his poor self-esteem rarely tolerated. She was sad because she cared about him. He had convinced himself for so many years that nobody gave a shit about anything that happened to him but he couldn't deny it now. Outside the window, the snow continued to pile up.

Before heading downstairs to see her, Rob looked over his DVD racks and selected _Office Space_ , which he had seen at least a dozen times. Except for _The Room_ , she had been almost exclusively taking in "art" films and it might be time for something with more laughs.

While she giggled at the movie's impudent sense of humor, Rob sat next to her on the couch resting his laptop on his legs. After some aimless internet browsing, he got the idea to check the DDLC folder again. Sayori had sent a couple more images and brief notes since he first realized she was reaching out, but he had yet to write back since Monika had asked him not to.

This time around there was a text file called "My New Poem!" How could he resist?

 **The Ladder**

 _I spent so many days in that dark cavern_  
 _The only way out was up_  
 _Sometimes I felt hopeless_  
 _But the ladder was always there._

 _One day I lost my grip on the ladder_  
 _I thought I fell but I was pushed_  
 _The ground gave way underneath me_  
 _And I couldn't see the ladder._

 _It was so dark that I lost myself_  
 _Couldn't see my hands right in front of my face_  
 _I had given up on seeing the sun again_  
 _But then the ladder was there._

 _How did it find me?_  
 _How was it able to reach so far down?_  
 _Why was it so determined?_  
 _The ladder didn't answer._

 _I'm now back above the ground_  
 _But the edge of the cavern is still next to me_  
 _If I should fall back into the dark_  
 _I know the ladder will be there._

Well, now he had to wipe tears from his eyes. Not a major surprise since Natsuki's "Because You" poem had the same effect when he first saw it, but Monika still noticed.

"I thought this was a funny movie," she said.

"It is," Rob answered. "My mind just wandered, I guess."

She might not have bought it but thankfully his favorite line from the movie came along to prompt a reassuring laugh.

 _"_ _It looks like you've been missing a lot of work lately."_

 _"_ _I wouldn't say I've been…_ _ **missing**_ _it, Bob."_

After making sure that the movie had her full attention, Rob opened up a text file in the DDLC folder. He couldn't leave Sayori hanging any longer. It was a little absurd that he was trying to hide this from Monika, given that it was his game on his computer in his house, but what if she felt compelled to delete it? He could theoretically "resurrect" the girls by downloading the game again, but he didn't go through the trouble of getting that "good" ending to start from scratch now.

 _Hi Sayori,_

 _It's me. Thank you for such a sweet poem and thank you for telling Monika that you're all okay. Once I met her, it didn't take long for my thoughts to turn to you three. Knowing that you're at least safe has really helped with this latest bout of depression. How are you feeling? How are Yuri and Natsuki? What happened to MC after the game ended? Do I need to straighten him out? I just have so many questions for you._

 _According to Monika, she was in awful pain and discomfort when the game was turned off. That's not what's happening to you, is it? Cause I can leave it running if that will help. She's been doing well here. I hope at one point she will be able to live independently although we would have a lot of logistical issues to work through before that was possible._

 _If there's anything I can ever do for you guys, please tell me. Maybe one day we'll meet? I'm not ruling out anything at this point. Take care of yourself and the others._

 _Love,_  
 _Rob_

He had no clue how long it would take Sayori to find that note and write a response, so he set the laptop down on the ground and turned his attention back to the movie.

"What's got you so busy?" Monika asked.

"Just doing some writing," Rob said. "I used to do it for a living, but it's been a long time since I just sat and wrote something."

"That's great! If you ever want to show me something you've written, I'd be really interested…even though I've forgotten most of my writing tips."

"Sure, I might do that." He sat back against the couch and noticed Monika looking at him expectantly. Eventually, she beckoned him with both hands.

"Come here."

Rob inched over and Monika entwined both her arms around one of his, clutching his hand and leaning on his shoulder. She had learned that this kind of thing was about as far as she could go without him objecting. It was still questionable, but he was willing to take the risk for now. Sometimes it felt like Monika was the only one in the house who wanted to be close to him. The boys rarely slowed down enough and Kate…she just didn't seem to regard it as a high priority. Not as long as there was work to do and bills to pay.

After the movie, Monika gave him the kiss on the cheek that was her typical way of saying goodnight and walked off into her room. Rob carried the laptop back upstairs and set it on his desk. He figured he would check the DDLC folder once before bedtime and sure enough, there was a new note.

 _Hi Rob!_

 _I'm so glad you wrote! You're so nice to ask what you can do for us when you've already done so much. I owe you everything and I want you to know that. But if you want to do something fun that would be appreciated, the girls have been asking about new outfits and I can't really make them out of thin air. So if you wanted to move some images of different clothes into the game folders, I can take it from there. We could even send you some pictures! Nothing naughty, please!_

 _So let me try and answer your questions. Natsuki and Yuri are doing great. The three of us spend a lot of time together. Their personality quirks are mostly as you remember them, but without anyone messing with the character files and a few other problems dealt with, they are safe. I've told them bits and pieces of the truth. They know that you are from another world and you had the power to watch this one for a while. I haven't mentioned the whole video game thing. I don't know how they would react and the more I think about it, I don't know how much it matters._

 _As for MC, he's a different story. He hasn't moved from that desk where Monika had him sitting when she took over the game. Just sits there like a vegetable. He doesn't have a character file, so I really don't know how to help him. He's meant to sync with you during the game, but now he's just empty._

 _You don't have to worry about keeping the game off. I think what Monika experienced was because the game hadn't yet finished so she was aware of our entire world being frozen in time when you weren't playing. Now that you've finished, we have more freedom than she ever did._

 _I want to be honest with you, Rob. I don't know how to feel about her living in your home. I'm sure you're a good influence but I can't help but think it's just so unfair that she got to meet you while we're still here and can only talk like this. I would love to see you in person, but I still have no idea how Monika pulled that off. Maybe one day we can figure it out together? Until then, let's keep talking, okay?_

 _Your loving waifu, (just kidding but I do love you!)_  
 _Sayori_

Nothing naughty, huh? So much for Yuri in a French maid outfit. Respecting her wishes, Rob compiled pictures of some costumes he liked from various movies and games before doing a google search for "Academy Awards red carpet" to find some dresses for them. He even threw in some male outfits in case they wanted to go in that direction. Before going to bed, he had assembled about three dozen outfits for them and hoped it would make for a fun slumber party.

The next morning started early with a robocall from the local school district informing him that the school day had been canceled due to the weather. A glance out the window revealed what he estimated as 18 inches of snow. Could have been worse.

Rob typically found snow hats and scarves to be itchy and uncomfortable, but a jacket, boots and gloves were essential for the business of snow shoveling. Some of his neighbors had snow blowers, but he never found that idea to be worth dropping several hundred dollars. Shoveling was good exercise and everyone was always describing exercise as some kind of miracle cure for depression. Rob wasn't sure about that, but he did notice that he lost a few pounds every winter.

It wasn't long until the others came out to join him. Andrew and Lucas, bundled tightly in snow clothing that must have weighed almost as much as them, rushed outside and began digging tunnels across the front lawn. Monika happily grabbed the other shovel and joined Rob in digging out the driveway. Kate focused her attention on the cars, which were also covered.

Rob was pleasantly surprised to find that the process of clearing the driveway out went much faster with two people, especially a partner who was in as good shape as Monika. She seemed to relish the exertion given how cooped up she had been ever since her arrival. It wasn't long until the driveway was usable again, although the pile of white boulders at the end was always a challenge. Before long, another plow would be along to leave another mound of snow between them and the road. With the work done, Rob wandered over to the house to examine the icicles now hanging from the edge of the roof.

"Check this shit out," Rob said to Monika as he pulled a particularly dense icicle off the house. "It's like an ice sword."

Monika said something back, but he didn't hear it. His attention was drawn to Andrew, who had dug his way to the end of the lawn and was wandering onto the road. At the same time, a pick-up truck was slowly moving in their direction.

Rob sprinted down the newly cleared driveway still holding the icicle. The truck didn't seem to realize Andrew was there. In one fluid motion, Rob pulled Andrew out of the way and hurled the icicle at the truck just as it passed by. It shattered against the back window. The driver slowed down to a stop.

"Why you throw that, Daddy?" Andrew asked. He had no clue how much danger he had just been in.

Rob looked at Monika. "Get me another icicle."

"Monika, don't you dare!" Kate shouted.

"Fine, I'll use something else." After sending Andrew off towards the house, Rob pulled his shovel out of the snow bank where it had been resting. Gripping it tightly, he waited for the driver of the truck to come out. After a few minutes of tense silence, the vehicle drove off.

"You're crazy," Kate said, making her way towards him.

"He didn't even apologize," Rob said.

"Of course he didn't!" Kate replied. "You were ready to pummel him with that shovel! Why couldn't you just give him the middle finger like a normal person?"

Rob was disgusted. "He almost runs over our kid but I'm the asshole. That's fuckin' great."

Kate sighed. "You're impossible."

She walked away from him. Rob tossed the shovel back into the snow bank. Monika was standing near the boys with an uncertain look on her face. He shook his head and wondered if anyone would ever really understand him. There was someone who might, but she was stuck inside a game.


	14. Chapter 14: Forgiveness and Pretzels

As she returned to the house from her piano lesson, Monika noticed that the snow was vanishing fast. Maybe Spring would finally come? It was well into April now, after all.

Her thoughts were interrupted as she opened the storm door and a gust of wind blew it out of her hands. It swung hard into the side of the house.

"What just happened?! I didn't break it, did I?"

"Nah," Rob said from behind her. "That last storm must have pulled out the retention spring. Let me have a look."

Monika stepped inside and hung her coat up as Rob pulled the door back towards him and examined it.

"Damn. I'm not sure I have the tools to fix this. I'll probably have to borrow some from my dad."

"Will you go there today?" Monika asked.

"Nah, probably tomorrow. Have you forgotten what's going on tonight?"

"Oh yeah," she replied. After many attempts to plan around Kate's busy schedule, the two of them had finally settled on a night to spend some time out without any of the three boys. Rob would be putting Andrew and Lucas to bed on his own, something which would have intimidated her, but he had done it many times before.  
Monika decided to get in some practicing on the keyboard before the outing. She had convinced Mrs. Fredericks to find her some more contemporary music to practice and her teacher had finally come through today, sending her home with some classic soft-rock songs from the 1950s and 60s. It wasn't quite what Monika had in mind, but she hadn't been specific and given her teacher's age, these songs were probably the first tracks that came to her mind. She had as much appreciation for classical music as any student of the medium, but it just wasn't the type of thing she imagined herself composing, and composition was her ultimate goal.

Before turning on the keyboard, Monika decided to eavesdrop for a little bit on the conversation upstairs. She knew this was a bad habit, but there were times that she learned valuable information from it.

"If you have time tomorrow, can you write some thank you notes?" Kate asked.

Rob was perplexed. "For what?"

"For the presents we got for the boys' party? You know, the one that was just last week?"

"But why would we write thank you notes?" he asked. "We thanked them all in person at the party."

"You're still supposed to send thank you notes."

"Says who? Is that one of the ten commandments?"

"Rob, it's just what people do!"

"But we thanked them already!" That seemed to be the point he was really stuck on.

"Fine, I'll write them."

"You shouldn't have to either," he insisted. "A real gift doesn't come with obligations. If you're forced to write a thank you note, then it's not a gift, it's an exchange."

"I'm done with you," Kate said. "Find someone else to torment."

At times like this, Monika wondered how they stayed together. Kate was just so conscientious and sensitive to obligations while Rob seemed to live in a permanent state of skepticism. It was often said that opposites attract, but could opposites put up with each other forever?

She set one of her new pieces of sheet music against the little stand at the top of the keyboard and began to play. It was fairly simple and based mostly on one melody, but it was still a lot of fun. A few minutes later, Rob came down the stairs and peeked into her room.

"Are you playing Frankie Valli?" he asked.

Monika took her hands away from the keys and smiled at him. "You know this song?"

"It's a classic."

"You want to sing along?" she asked.

"Uh, sure."

"Great! Let's do this!" Monika shifted back into position and played the opening melody that repeated for most of the song. Rob opened his mouth and seemed to be about to sing, but stopped short.

"Oh come on," she teased. "You're going to chicken out again?"

"I just realized that the only lyrics in this song that I know are 'Oh, what a night.'"

Given how little he probably listened to this type of music, Monika suspected he was telling the truth. Before speaking further on the matter, she caught sight of a piece of paper in his hand.

Rob noticed her shifting gaze. "So I was thinking about what you told me. About how you've been forgetting things from your past? Well, I went on the internet and made a list of every book that you mentioned in the game and even some from one of the mods."

"Can I see it?"

"Sure." He walked over and handed it to her. "I put a check mark next to the ones that we have in the house. The others should be easy enough to find at the library."

Monika stood up. "This is so nice. Can I kiss you?"

Rob was flustered for a few seconds but eventually turned his head to the side and pointed to his cheek. Well, if this was all she was going to get, Monika was going to make the most of it. She grabbed his face with both hands. "Mmmmwah!"

"Who are you, Bugs Bunny?"

Monika pretended to get the joke but was typing "Bugs Bunny kiss" into YouTube's search bar a few moments later.

A hour or two later, Rob was cooking macaroni and cheese for the boys as Monika and Kate left for their outing. Once they were safely in the car and away from the boys, Kate seemed to actually relax. It was obvious she needed this night out much more than Monika did.

"Do you think Rob will be okay putting them to bed?" Kate asked.

"He will," Monika said. "He's done it before."

"I know, but I get nervous. I guess I'm always nervous about something."

Monika tried to take her mind off her worries. "Where are we headed?"

"This place on Main Street that I really like," Kate answered. "You have to try the pretzels and dip, it's awesome. It will be crowded but I called ahead."

Monika chuckled at her enthusiasm. "It's been a long time since you got to do something like this, hasn't it?"

"We've done plenty of fast food," Kate said. "But a sit-down restaurant can be tough. The boys aren't the patient type in order to keep them from wrecking the place, I wind up distracting them with snacks from my pocketbook before their food even comes. Then they're bored because Rob and I still have to eat and they're already full."

"I didn't realize it would be so hard."

"Neither did we. We keep telling ourselves things will get easier. In some ways, they do. We don't miss dirty diapers, for instance. But then other issues come up. Maybe that's just being a parent, I don't know."

The car pulled into a parking lot with few spaces to spare, just as Kate had predicted. As they walked in, a small crowd of people sat on benches and stared at their phones as they waited for their names to be called. Thanks to Kate thinking ahead (this was one thing she and Rob did have in common), their wait was brief and soon enough they were led to their table.

As soon as their waiter arrived, Kate ordered the pretzel dip appetizer. A few minutes later, a plate with hearty and freshly cooked pretzels and three different dipping sauces to choose from. Monika wasn't sure what to make of it at first.

"That one is kind of like honey mustard," Kate said, pointing to the one on the left. "The one in the middle is cheesy, like queso or something. The one on the right I don't like much, it's kind of like spaghetti sauce."

"Thanks for the tips," Monika said.

They consumed the pretzels within minutes and Monika tried all three of the sauces, deciding that she liked the cheesy one best. After they ordered their main dishes (there was a great selection of salads), Monika asked a question she had been wanting to ask Kate for a while now.

"What…what do you think about forgiveness?"

"It plays a pretty major role in my theology," Kate answered.

"But…how can you get someone to forgive you? How can you earn that?"

She thought for a moment. "What I try to tell people is that forgiveness isn't about the person who hurt them, not really. We encourage it because it helps people move on. It's not admitting that what someone did wasn't wrong, it's just setting yourself free. It's exhausting to keep obsessing about being mad at someone or getting back at them."

This wasn't what Monika had been expecting to hear at all, but it made sense.

"Is this about your old friends?" Kate asked.

"Yeah," she answered softly. "Do you think I could convince them?"

"It would be hard," Kate said. "If you try and explain to them what we've been talking about, it will inevitably come across as self-serving. It's better if they realize it on their own….but maybe Rob could convince them."

"I have mixed feelings about that," Monica replied.

"I bet he could," Katie said. "He's been talking to one of them a lot lately. I can't remember her name."

Monika did her best to hide her shock. "Was it…Sayori?"

"Yeah, that's it. They're like little pen pals, it's so cute."

The feeling of betrayal was intense, but Monika knew she couldn't show it now. It wouldn't make much sense. Rob's wife was across the table from her and if she wasn't concerned about him and Sayori, why should she be? Well, for one thing, Rob hadn't made Kate any promises not to talk to her.

While she was still thinking clearly, Monika rationalized that Rob probably didn't have any untoward plans for Sayori. If he wanted a younger lover, there had been plenty of chances for that over the last few months. He wanted something else; that feeling of validation, of being understood and accepted for what he really was. Monika had tried to give him that but maybe she just wouldn't be able to. That hurt.

There was another feeling she was struggling with, one that could cause a lot of trouble if she didn't get it under control. Rob was hers. Okay, so maybe Kate had more of a claim but that didn't bother her anymore. Even if they were never a couple, he was _her_ friend, not to be shared with the rest of the Literature Club in the way he was while playing the game. She didn't put everything she had into finding a way to this world only to have the other girls interfere again.

She didn't want to hurt them anymore. She wanted them to forgive her and then go away. That didn't seem likely, unfortunately. The situation occupied her mind for the rest of the dinner and for the drive back to the house.

"Are you okay?" Kate asked as they turned onto the road where the family lived. "Did you not have a good time?"

"It was very nice," Monika replied quickly. "Thanks. I guess I'm just…thinking of my friends."

"We'll sort it out somehow," Kate said. "We can contact them whenever we want."

Don't remind me, Monika thought.

The house was unusually quiet as they got home. The two of them explored only to find all three boys passed out in the master bedroom. Rob hadn't even changed into his pajamas. Kate laughed softly and carried each child back to his own bed. Monika figured this might be for the best. She could confront him tomorrow.


	15. Chapter 15: Bad Day

Life was full of surprises. Rob didn't get out of bed today expecting to be stretched out between tree branches about twenty feet off the ground, but here he was. Now that all of the snow had melted away, he had walked onto the front lawn and noticed a large branch that was just barely hanging on to the tree itself. Normally, this would not be a significant issue…except that this branch was dangling a few feet above the power line that connected the house to the power grid.

Blizzard season was likely over (one could only hope), but at this point even an average thunderstorm could probably knock the branch down. Rob had called the power company only to be informed that because the tree was on his property, it was his responsibility. What exactly did those people get paid for again?

The ladder didn't even go high enough, so now he was way up off the ground, each foot on a different branch while learning over and sawing through the damaged branch. The handsaw looked sharper than it actually was and this was taking quite a while.

Monika walked out of the front door expecting to find him. Instead, she looked confused. "Rob? Where are you? Kate said you were out here."

"Up here!"

"Huh? Oh!" She stepped backwards in surprise when she saw him. "Be careful!"

"I should be done in a minute or two," Rob replied.

"I wanted to talk to you about something, but it can wait."

Finally the branch came loose. Before it could fall onto the power line, Rob grabbed it with his free hand and rotated it just enough so that it would fall straight to the ground when he let go. Unfortunately, the effort required to pull that maneuver off was too much for one of the branches he was standing on.

Monika shrieked as Rob toppled out of the tree. He slowed his descent by grabbing another branch with both hands and swinging. His shoes collided with the ladder and knocked it over to one side. With his momentum gone, Rob let go and landed on his feet.

"I can't believe that just happened," Monika said.

As he walked back towards the house, he felt a strange pain in his ankle. Monika noticed. "You're limping."

"I must have twisted my ankle," Rob said. "It should wear off, but I'm going to take a break. Tell Kate that I'll be in the bedroom for a few minutes if she needs me."

Monika hesitated but eventually walked towards the background where Kate and the boys were playing on their small playscape. Rob glanced towards the fallen ladder and wondered if he should take it back to the garage. Maybe after he had rested. The broken storm door continued to hang open.

He was asleep within minutes once he reclined on the bed. It wasn't a deep sleep, but a restful one where he was still vaguely aware of what was happening around him. He heard footsteps coming in his direction a few times, only to be followed by the same footsteps leaving the bedroom.

Rob eventually woke up and looked at the time. He was supposed to be at his parents' house in an hour and it was a 45 minute drive.

"Damn," he said quietly as he dragged himself off the bed. Walking into the living room to put on his shoes and jacket, he noticed Monika sitting at his desk with the laptop open.

She turned at him with a nasty expression. "So…you're Sayori's ladder? I think I might puke. All this time I thought she was a good poet."

"What are you doing?" Rob asked.

"You've been lying to me," Monika replied. "I asked you not to talk to her."

"What you asked me was not to try and talk her into forgiving you," Rob said back. "I haven't broached that topic, even though I think it would do the both of you a lot of good."

Monika rolled her eyes and sighed. "I forgot who I was talking to for a second there. Mr. Smartypants who can find a loophole in everything if it means avoiding taking responsibility for anything. You knew this wasn't right or else you wouldn't have kept it from me!"

"Why…why are we talking like this? I'm writing letters and you're treating me like I'm having an affair? I'm not married to you!"

"You're so selfish," Monika said. She was trembling with anger and hurt. "Kate and I do all we can to help you and you want to focus all your attention on Sayori?! How many women need to dote on you before you finally get your act together?!"

Rob smiled incredulously. "You're calling me selfish? That's a good one. What was that phrase again? Just Monika? That's still your MO, isn't it?"

There was a long dreadful silence where Rob wondered if Monika was about to attack him. She wouldn't do that, would she? Not after all the time she had spent here?

In the end, she didn't. However, what she said wasn't far off.

"I hate you."

Rob's heart sank. "I knew you would…eventually."

That was not the retort Monika expected and her angry expression faded. It looked like she wasn't sure what to say now. Rob didn't have time to wait for her to figure it out. If he was late getting to his parents' house, he would never hear the end of it. Without another word, he put on his jacket and opened the front door. As he left, he heard Monika say his name. Was she calling him back for more bullshit? No thanks.

Once he was on the road, Rob put on one of his favorite music playlists but was too deep in thought to pay much attention. Monika seemed to be so different and yet there was one part of her old life that just wouldn't go away. Not even being the only one of the girls from the game to leave their world was enough to put her feelings of jealousy at ease. Maybe he should have seen this coming, but all he wanted was someone in his life who could really understand depression. Others tried, but he always felt like he had to protect them from the whole terrible reality of it. You can only make your life sound so difficult before the important people in your life start to get offended. He wouldn't have had to worry about that with Sayori. But maybe she was right. Maybe he had been selfish. Maybe it was just asking too much.

He arrived at his parents' house to find a heavy bag full of tools waiting for him on a nearby chair.

"That should have everything you'll need," Gene said. "You can keep them for a while in case something else comes up."

"Are you sure?"

His father chuckled. "I've got more tools than I know what to do with in the garage."

Satisfied, Rob sat down on the couch. There was some small talk but it wasn't long until Marie turned the conversation to what seemed to be her favorite topic.

"Have you been applying for jobs?" she asked.

"Not really," Rob answered honestly.

"Why not?"

Spending time with his mother often felt like being an animal stuck in a cage while visitors poked him with sticks. He let out a quiet sigh and scratched his head nervously. "I…I don't have an answer that you'll find satisfactory."

"Depression?" Marie guessed. "That sounds more and more like a cop out these days. Why aren't those pills working? Why isn't your therapist helping?"

"I don't fucking know!" Rob blurted out.

"Watch your language," Gene scolded.

"It just makes everything harder," Rob said. "I know nobody wants to hear that, but it's true. If I was in a wheelchair, nobody would treat me this way."

"If you were in a wheelchair, you would be able to get disability payments. You can't let Kate keep supporting your family by herself. You need to help her."

Rob was getting sick of having this same argument. "Well, I could always just die. The life insurance is more than I'll ever make."

"Don't be ridiculous."

"But think about it! If all that matters is how much money I bring in, then death would be the most responsible choice!"

Marie sighed. "Why do you always have to go to the extreme?"

"Because you're an extreme pain in the ass!"

At this point, his father intervened again and managed to end the argument. The rest of the afternoon went by without incident, as his parents watched a baseball game while he wasted time on his phone. They didn't seem to notice his limping, which was probably for the best. After all, a twisted ankle is a major cop out.

The sun was beginning to set when he finally left his parents' house. A lot of trouble for just a bag of tools, but at least he might be able to fix the storm door. He tossed the bag onto the empty passenger seat without bothering to clip it shut.

The drive was a nice chance to calm his nerves. There was always a little bit of unpleasant needling when he saw his parents, but they had really ambushed him this time. They would probably go easier on him in general if he did get a more significant job, something even he knew would happen eventually.

Kate once told him how she felt uneasy when someone who has lost a lot of weight suddenly received tons of praise from their friends and family. The implication was that they weren't worthy of it while they were fat. He found his situation vaguely similar. If he did find the "right" job, he would surely be praised and that annoyed him since it suggested he didn't have any worth otherwise.

For the drive home, he decided to just put the music on a randomly selected playlist instead of one of the regulars. It was nice to hear songs he hadn't thought about recently and there were many smiles of recognition as the daylight faded and a light rain began to fall. When he was about fifteen minutes away from the house, an unexpected song began. It was "Sinead."

As soon as it started, he knew he had to apologize to Monika. Her reaction had come from fear of losing him. She had to be reassured that wouldn't happen.  
Rob's train of thought was interrupted by an actual train. The railroad crossing lights were blinking and the small barrier had lowered. He was fairly close to home now and despite all the times he had driven over these train tracks, this may have been the first time he actually saw one crossing. As Rob watched the freight cars go by, he wished Andrew was with him. He would have loved this.

A few moments later, he was on the other side of the railroad tracks as "Sinead" reached its final chorus. One of his favorite pizza places was coming up on the right and a smaller road was on the left. The next song was one he hadn't heard in a long time.

 _These are my final lines_  
 _I've lived all my nine lives_

Out of nowhere a car crossed the road in front of him. It came from the street to his left and was likely headed for the pizza joint's parking lot. The driver had barely stopped at the stop sign and clearly hadn't checked for other cars. Rob let out a gasp and slammed the brake as hard as he could. The road was wet from the rain and not ideal for a quick stop.

Time slowed down. Rob realized that a collision was coming.

"Ah shit."

At the last second, he instinctively swerved the car to the left so the empty passenger side would take the brunt of the impact. The music abruptly stopped and was replaced by the sound of metal crashing together. Pain erupted in so many different places that he couldn't keep track of it all .The other car's forward momentum spun Rob's vehicle back to the right and pushed it into the nearby parking lot. A white balloon popped out of the steering wheel and smacked Rob in the face.

The open tool bag was launched into the air at the moment of impact. Screwdrivers and wrenches became shrapnel. Rob felt them tear at his face and neck. Blood clouded his vision. Finally, the car came to an abrupt halt. Everything went dark.

All these years with depression and this was how he was going to die. Life was full of surprises.


	16. Chapter 16: Fading Light

_These are my final lines_  
 _I've lived all my nine lives_

Rob couldn't stand it when his music got interrupted. He would often wait in the car after he had reached his destination in order for the song to finish. That wasn't always possible and he knew better than to try it when anyone else was in the car, but it was a nice little indulgence when he was driving alone. He had really gotten ripped off this time. Only two lines before the song cut out? At least he knew it well enough that it could play inside his head.

But why was he thinking about that? He wasn't in the car. Rob was just leaving his dorm on a bright sunny morning in New York City. Just a few blocks to the west and he would be at the building where the first class of the day would be held. As he approached the first intersection on his route, a woman sprinted past him with a panicked expression on her face. Nothing too unusual; crazy people were a daily sight in New York. Then there was another. And another.

A crowd was gathered to the corner. When Rob reached the end of the street and turned his head, he understood what the fuss was about. One of the World Trade Center's two towers had a huge gaping hole in it. A fire was faintly visible inside as black smoke drifted up into the sky. Who knows how many minutes must have passed as Rob stared in sheer disbelief. It must have been one hell of an accident.

His attention shifted to a plane that appeared overhead. It seemed to be flying at unusually low altitude.

 _Ladies and gentlemen_  
 _Welcome to my life again_  
 _Walk with me, every curve, every bend_  
 _This promenade that seems to come to an end._

Rob woke up with his head resting on the steering wheel, cushioned only slightly by a deflated airbag. As he sat up, he saw that the empty white balloon was smeared with blood. It hadn't dried so he must not have been out for very long.

The windshield had what looked like thousands of cracks in it but hadn't shattered. The headlights were kaput but the scene in front of him was illuminated by the inside of the pizza place, where shocked onlookers who had stopped by for some quick takeout were starting to creep towards the wreckage. A handful of screwdrivers, wrenches and pliers were resting on his lap, some dripping with blood.

At that point, he glanced in the rear view mirror and gasped. Rob looked like he had just lost a fight with Freddy Krueger. At this point, his face was such a mess that it was hard to tell how deep the cuts actually were but he felt confident he was getting at least two or three scars out of this whole disaster…that is, if he could even get out of the car.

He turned to his left to reach for the car door handle. It only required slight movement from his legs but that was still enough to send a wave of intense pain through his entire body. The right leg seemed okay but something had definitely happened to the left. Upon closer inspection, there was a small bloodstain around his knee that he could make out through his khaki pants, but it didn't look very intimidating compared to his face at the moment.

During that painful attempt at movement, Rob did remember he had a phone in his pocket and was able to dig it out. A few drops of blood fell from his face onto the screen as he tried to call Kate. The phone rang a few times as he struggled to stay conscious. Adrenaline was supposed to kick in at a time like this but it was sure taking its sweet time…or maybe he was just too injured for it to work.

"I was wondering where you were," Kate said as she picked up. "Are you on your way home?"

Rob opened his mouth to speak but only a faint but growling noise came out. He realized too late he hadn't said anything since the impact.

"Rob, are you there?"

"I'm…I'm in some trouble."

"What's going on?!"

"I got in a…a really bad accident."

"Where are you?!"

"The…the parking lot at…at Pizza Mike's."

"What happened? Are you okay?!"

"...No. I don't think I am."

Rob could hear his wife take a deep breath before she spoke again. "I'll call an ambulance and drive over there now. I need you to get out of the car."

"Okay," he said. He reached over and got the car door open. The combination of the rain and the setting sun had made his surroundings much darker than they were when he started this ill-fated drive.

There was a pile of scrap near his car, looking like metal guts which had leaked from some gaping wound he couldn't see from this angle. For the first time, he saw the other car, also motionless in the parking lot with a huge dent in its center. The driver was a young teenager who couldn't have had his license longer than a year. He didn't notice Rob opening the door, but then again he clearly wasn't accustomed to paying attention to his surroundings.

After a few deep breaths, Rob tried to move his left leg again. He managed to lift it over the edge of the car, but the pain was so intense that he cried out and dropped the phone. He couldn't take the time to look for it, if he didn't finish getting out now, who knows when he would feel strong enough again. The right leg seemed uninjured and moved easily.

He decided to stand up and walk, but as soon as he was upright, the left leg and ankle both gave way. Rob toppled forward and his head struck the hard, wet pavement.

 _Played the game and lost_  
 _I wonder how you can_  
 _Hold the cards for a dead man_

"Rob?! Rob, where did you go?!"

Monika had knows something was really wrong shortly after Kate had picked up the phone. Not long after answering, her face had gotten pale even as she struggled to sound collected.

"Fucking shit!" Kate almost never swore. This was bad.

"What's going on?!" Monika asked frantically.

Kate pulled a raincoat off the rack adjacent to the front door. "Rob was in a car accident. I have no idea what condition he's in, but at least I got him to tell me where it was. I'm headed down there and I'll call an ambulance on the way."

Monika nodded. "Let's go."

Kate gave her a confused look. "Someone has to stay with the boys."

Monika began to panic. She hadn't thought of that, they had been quietly playing with their train set in the other room. "No, I need to see him!"

"Monika-"

"I need to be with him!"

"Monika!" The shock of Kate raising her voice like this silenced her. "If you're going to be part of this family, I need to be able to depend on you!"

"But…but I've never even taken care of them on my own."

"I know," Kate said. "After the ambulance, I'll call a babysitter and hopefully she can come soon and back you up. Now I've got to go."

Not waiting for a response, Kate rushed out the door into the rain. Monika gripped her hair with both hands. What was going on? How could something like this just happen out of nowhere? Rob had been right that day at the cemetery. Life didn't have the predetermined outcomes she had discovered inside the Literature Club. Now she had wrecked their relationship on the day he was going to die. What if he died thinking she hated him? She had said that, after all. But it was obvious she didn't mean it, she was just mad! He had to know that, right? He was smart, he had to know that she could never hate someone who had given her so much, right? But he also had terrible self-esteem - it might not take much for him to believe someone hated him.

Her head was spinning so fast she didn't even realize that the boys had come into the room. "Where did Mama go?"

Monika tried to compose herself quickly. "Your mom went to go help your Dad with something."

They weren't buying it. "Mama needs to come back!" Andrew protested.

"Where is Daddy?" Lucas added.

Injured on the side of the road? Maybe even dying? What was she supposed to say? "Your daddy is…he's in the car." That was accurate, right?

Andrew suddenly changed the subject. "I need snack."

With that, the two of them rushed into the kitchen and climbed onto the counter. Before Monika could react, they had the cabinets open and were pulling out boxes of crackers.

"Boys, your parents don't want you to get on the counter."

"It's a counter day," Lucas replied, as if that made any sense.

"Look, can you please just get down? I don't want you to get hurt."

Andrew tried to reassure her. "I won't get hurt, Monika. I won't."

"I'll get you each a bowl of crackers if you just get down," she replied. Finally they listened. How did Kate expect her to handle this when she was nearly mad with guilt and worry? At least she was coherent enough to pour crackers into two small bowls and set them on the nearby dining table. The boys dutifully sat down and began snacking. They would be still for at least a few moments.

As soon as they were done, they rushed into the living room leaving a trail of legos and magnetic building toys behind them. The boys egged each other on to the point where they were both climbing the back of the couch and then jumping off onto the floor. After the first huge thump, Monika rushed into the bedroom to grab a pillow. At least then would have a soft spot to land for as long as they insisted on these daredevil antics.

Monika sunk into the nearby recliner and tried to make sense of the clawing pain in her chest. When she had discovered the truth about her world, she was certainly scared…but not like this. This was a different kind of terror, a visceral fear that life absolutely could not continue if Rob died tonight. Rationally, she knew it would but it was still impossible to imagine and the thought of confronting that future made her want to escape her own body and hide somewhere where she would never feel again. There was one thing she finally understood. The longing for the player she felt during the game wasn't love, it was obsession. This feeling, this painful sensation that life without another person would be simply impossible…this was love. It hurt.

A knock at the door jolted Monika out of her anguished stupor. Waiting on the other side was a young girl she had never seen before. With her short stature and hair adorned with bows, she reminded Monika immediately of Natsuki.

"Uh, hi."

"Hi! I'm Nicole, I'm here to babysit?"

"Oh right," Monika said, visibly relieved. "I'm Monika, come on in."

Nicole walked inside the house and immediately took charge, inviting the boys to start building a marble maze and blessedly getting them out of Monika's hair for a while.

"You're one of Rob's friends, right?" Nicole asked. "I hope he's okay, you must be really upset."

"Yeah," Monika replied. "I'm…I'm really worried." She caught sight of Rob's laptop and walked over to his desk chair. Despite how angry she had been about Rob and Sayori's friendship, she also felt a strange obligation to her classmate. Sayori had a right to know what was happening, although the part about her awful argument with Rob could probably be omitted without much consequence.

She opened up the DDLC folder and prepared to write another letter when she noticed something. There was a folder named "pics" that hadn't been there when she was snooping earlier that day.

The first picture caught her completely off guard. It was Natsuki in a Spider-Man costume making the most ridiculous pose. Next was Yuri in a gorgeous black dress and her hair tied back looking like she was on her way to an awards show. Rob must have found images of different clothes and put them inside the game for the girls to enjoy. It was definitely attuned to his taste. One of the pictures was Sayori in an elaborate pink dress with a parasol, which Monika knew was Princess Peach's look. If she had seen that earlier today in the mood she had been in, she might have deleted the entire game on the spot. Now she just rolled her eyes. Monika continued to scroll through the pictures and a warm smile crossed her face as she remembered the good times with her friends.

Before Monika knew it, tears were streaming down her cheeks. If not for Rob, her jealousy would have doomed the girls forever. Now she had alienated him on what could be the day of his death. She couldn't go on like this.

Finally, she began to type her message.

 _I'm a restless soul_  
 _I'll make the best ghost_

Rob regained consciousness to find himself bleeding again. It may have looked worse because of the rain, but the fall he had just taken definitely added another cut to his forehead. He wasn't sure how long he'd been out this time, but Kate had said she was on her way. She couldn't see him like this. He couldn't help limping or being covered with blood and dirt, but he wanted to at least be standing when she arrived.

This was going to be tough with only one leg. He managed to stretch out the injured leg enough so that his knee was off the ground and wouldn't be aggravated by the pressure required to get up. Next he pushed hard against the pavement with both hands and his unscathed right knee.

It almost worked. Rob almost had himself in a crouching position, but balancing without one of his legs was just too hard and he fell backwards onto the ground. The world around him grew fuzzy but he noticed a pair of headlights. Another car was pulling into the parking lot, but it was hard to see details.

Someone ran up to him and seemed to be crying. She faded away and Rob found himself back in college, rushing back to his dorm. His roommates were already in the lobby. It turned out one of them had a father who worked in the financial district, perilously close to the World Trade Center. With classes canceled, the group decided to make their way downtown to see what they could find out.

This was the only day he could think of where you could walk past people on the street and everyone was talking about the same thing. They passed a bar where people were angrily banging on the table and yelling at the television, a scene he had seen in countless movies. As they walked further on and the flaming buildings loomed larger and larger, Rob remembered the characters in Greek mythology who had made journeys into Hell (or Hades, to be specific). He had an understanding now of how that felt.

Almost an hour after the plane hit the first tower, it collapsed. The building seemed to fall straight down and disappeared into a huge cloud of dust that began to flood down the street towards them. Everything in front of him disappeared into the gray mass.

"Rob?!" A voice said suddenly. "Rob, snap out of it!"

"So much dust," he answered. "So much metal, so much dirt. It's so dark."

"Rob, come back! You're not in New York! That's over!"

But it wasn't. He understood now that in the terror of this moment, he had imagined a future for himself where he lived through this terrible day, but that was done. He was back where he had always been, in a city under attack. He heard loud sirens and had the sense that bright lights were going off near him, but he couldn't see an ambulance anywhere.

There was an open store immediately to his left. He might be able to rush inside in time to avoid the dust cloud. He yelled to his panicked friends and pointed them in the right direction. As he sprinted and finally jumped through the doorway, the debris blocked out all the light coming from above. There was an awful smell of burnt plastic and smoldering ashes. The lights inside the store flickered and shorted out. Everything was dark now.

 **Soundtrack Update:**  
 **Iron Maiden - Stranger in a Strange Land (Chapter 3)**  
 **Victoria - Stay (Chapter 6)**  
 **Within Temptation - Sinead (Chapter 6)**  
 **Anathema - Harmonium (Chapter 10)**  
 **GO 2 - Power (Chapter 11)**  
 **Katatonia - Pale Flag (Chapter 11)**  
 **Sabaton - To Hell and Back (Chapter 12)**  
 **The Four Seasons - Oh, What a Night (Chapter 14)**  
 **Sonata Arctica - Juliet (Chapter 15/16)**


	17. Chapter 17: Meanwhile

Sayori called it the Bachelorette Pad. Sometimes she liked to stand outside and admire the large but tasteful home she had created for herself and the other two girls in the Literature Club. She would have to gaze on it again later; it was getting dark now and the others were waiting for her.

Inside, Natsuki and Yuri reclined on the long bend sofa that sat in the middle of their living room, wearing pink and purple pajamas that complemented their respective hair colors. Sayori had red pajamas waiting for her in her bedroom, just one of the numerous clothes Rob had managed to find and give to them by filling up the game's folder with images.

They had done more experiments with this and now the group also had an extensive selection of music that Sayori controlled with the tablet device she had conjured into existence. The music Rob picked often veered a little too far on the heavy side for everyone's taste, but he had thrown in some gentler songs as well. They had all been particularly taken to the song that was playing now, a catchy tune about some guy who really likes Africa.

"Is there something in the oven?" Sayori asked as she walked back down the stairs to the living room. At one end was the entrance to the kitchen, which was full of cupboards that Natsuki had quickly filled. The door at the other end led to the study, a quiet room with several bookshelves and chairs. This room was mostly used by Yuri, who had adorned it with scented candles and other atmospheric touches. Rob had also supplied them with numerous books thanks to something called "pdf files."

Natsuki answered her question with a satisfied grin. "Yeah! This is going to be a good batch, I can tell!"

"Well now I'm very excited for dessert!" Sayori replied. "The pizza should be here any minute."

She wasn't always this comfortable with her role in their world. Sayori nearly snapped when the truth revealed itself to her, coming out of nowhere as she was leaving herself and walking towards MC. The realization that her reality existed inside of a video game was actually too absurd to digest right away, the initial shock came from the revelation that she had been dead.

As far back as she could remember, she had depression. It had been hard but survivable. But right around the time she introduced MC to the club, it became unbearable to the point where ending it all seemed like the only sane choice. It wasn't until the noose was tight around her neck that she realized just how much she had been manipulated by Monika, but at that point, it was too late.

That should have been the end, but it wasn't. Because of him. The player. Rob.

He knew something was wrong. He outsmarted Monika (even if he was too much of a softie to truly delete her) and didn't stop until Sayori was restored to life. What had she done to earn that kind of loyalty from someone who was more or less a stranger? As she reflected on this, Sayori realized that she could also imagine the memories of Yuri and Natsuki. That was when things really got strange.

All three of them had memories of Rob writing poems that appealed to them. Both Yuri and Natsuki remembered spending a special day at MC's house even though only one of them could have been there. Sayori racked her brain trying to figure out how this was possible until the answer came to her. Rob had the ability to manipulate the flow of time in their reality. He had experienced those few days at the club multiple times in order to bond with each of the girls.

He had put in so much effort just to make all of them feel loved and cared about. If the rules of this reality allowed him to do so for Monika, he would have. It was then that Sayori's panic faded away. Rob was gone now, but he had left behind so much love and clinging to that allowed her to come to grips with the truth about her life. No matter what she managed to do now, there was no way she could ever suitably repay him for that kindness.

It was ironic, really. None of the girls would physically age as long as they were in this reality, but Sayori felt like she was about a decade older mentally. She was able to get the depression under control and made less of an effort to hide it. Making the other girls happy was still her top priority, but she wasn't quite the ray of sunshine they remembered. She was jaded, less likely to use cutesy words like "meanie" and more open about her true feelings. Some things didn't change, however. She still loved food.

The doorbell rang and Sayori opened it to see Natsuki's father holding two large boxes of pizza. She realized she probably should give him a name at some point. Hideo, maybe? After she became president of the club, she considered deleting him altogether but decided a more appropriate fate would be to spend the rest of his existence providing food for his daughter.

He peered into the living room and waved. "Hi, Natsuki!"

"Hi Dad. Did you get the toppings right this time?"

"Yes, I double checked! Have fun!"

Sayori set the pizzas down on the counter. Yuri walked over with the notepad they had written their individual requests on and examined the food.

"No errors this time," she said. "Perhaps we don't need to call the manager."

Natsuki cast her an aggravated look. "Only kidding, of course."

The girls grabbed slices and set them on paper plates before returning to the couch. All three leaned back into the cushions and set their feet on the coffee table as they ate. Sayori looked at the smiles on Yuri and Natsuki's faces and was grateful the two of them were so content. One of her ongoing internal debates was how much to tell them about what she knew.

Rob's sudden disappearance had to be explained. After all, MC hadn't moved from that desk in months. They knew that Rob was a person from a different world, one similar to theirs but larger and more complicated. They knew that it was his presence that animated MC, even though he had never directly spoken to them and mostly had to abide by what MC wanted to say. They knew the end result of Monika's disappearance had been for Sayori to obtain almost godlike power over the world they lived in. They knew that Sayori had found a way to communicate with him and that he had been able to supply them with new clothes and music.

They knew almost everything, but Sayori had left a crucial detail out. They had no clue that their world was a video game, one where all the trauma they had experienced was written ahead of time and presented to a player. Why should she risk giving her two best friends an existential crisis? Besides, they were alive. Their origins were not what they thought, but they had feelings and desires all their own.

This is what Monika never understood, or perhaps didn't want to. She viewed them as worthless puppets of whoever created this game, but it wasn't that simple. After all, she was able to escape into Rob's world as herself, not as a two-dimensional cutout or lines of code. The period of time covered by the game had ended and their lives continued, a development that even the creators likely didn't know.

That led to some really interesting possibilities. It was clear that it was possible for them to leave this world, but Sayori wondered if that also meant someone could come there. It would be simple to add another bedroom to the house…or maybe just make her bed a little bit wider.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of her customized tablet vibrating next to her feet on the coffee table. Sayori sat up and examined it.

"Did we get another letter?" Yuri asked, her eyes lighting up with excitement.

"Has he found a way to get us some video games?" Natsuki asked. "Cause I don't want to hear from him until he does."

"This one's from Monika," Sayori said with her eyes still on the screen.

"Oh, great." Natsuki rolled her eyes. "Let me guess. 'Please don't be mad, I know I tried to kill you all but I was just having really bad PMS.' She's such a brat."

"Natsuki!" Yuri tried to sound aghast but was also stifling laughter.

Sayori wasn't laughing. In fact, her face had gone deathly white.

"What's wrong?" Yuri asked.

"She…she says that Rob was in a bad car accident," Sayori answered, barely able to get the words out. "She doesn't even know…if he's still alive."

There was terrible silence for a moment until Natsuki abruptly stood up off the couch. "She's lying!"

Her friends weren't sure how to reply, so she continued. "She doesn't like that he writes to us so she's making this up! She…"

Natsuki's voice trailed off and she rushed upstairs, tears streaming down her cheeks. Yuri held up a hand to try and stop her but it was no good.

"I'll go talk to her," she said.

"Thank you," Sayori replied, gently touching Yuri's shoulder.

Finishing the letter was the responsible thing to do, but Sayori couldn't bring herself to look directly at it. A welcome distraction came when a beeping noise went off in the kitchen. It was the microwave timer, indicating that the cupcakes were done. She walked over to a drawer and put on a pair of oven mitts. By the time she had the cupcakes safely on the counter, she had shored up enough inner strength to continue reading.

 _Sayori,_  
 _I know you don't want to hear from me, but I think you should know that Rob was in a really bad car accident tonight. He wasn't able to talk on the phone for long, but Kate left to find him and by now an ambulance has been called. I'm not sure when I'll know more. I feel like everything is falling apart._

 _I wasn't going to even write this much, but I don't know what else to do. I've been jealous like usual and I fought with him earlier today. Now he might die and I won't get the chance to make things right. I'm just so scared. I know I have no right to ask for your support but I need you. I need my friends. I'm so very sorry for everything._  
 _Monika_

Her words brought on a multitude of different emotions, all of which Sayori decided to put on hold by checking on the other girls. She walked up the stairs, doing her best to say calm, and peeked into Natsuki's room. She was on her knees sobbing into Yuri's shoulder.

Even though she wasn't crying, Sayori was actually more worried about Yuri. Natsuki crying so hard was the more healthy way to deal with these feelings. One of the first things Sayori did after their world had been restored was to take Yuri aside to talk about that cutting habit that she had just become aware of. Sayori opened the conversation by revealing her struggles with depression, so that it would feel more like an equal exchange instead of a one-sided interrogation.

What she didn't expect to hear was that Yuri had suspected her condition all along but had never said anything. Sayori had to concede that it made some sense, Yuri was very smart and very analytical. When the conversation switched her issues, she wasn't very forthcoming but Sayori gently revealed that she knew what "feeding the raccoon" really meant.

They agreed to try and come up with some other way to relieve stress and the stability of life afterwards had been good for her. The bachelorette pad was a safe place. But after a shock like this, old habits might look appealing.

"I don't understand," Natsuki finally said. "I've never met Rob, not really. But…I don't want him to die! That's not right!"

"None of us do," Yuri consoled. "We care so much because he cared about us."

"Still does," Sayori added.

"He even cares about Monika," Natsuki said. "Soft-hearted sucker."

"Oh yeah, Monika," Sayori replied. "I guess I should write back to her before I go to bed. Are you two going to be okay?"

Natsuki sat up and wiped her eyes. "I…I think so."

Sayori looked at Yuri. "What about you?"

Yuri broke eye contact. "I'm very concerned, but I believe I can stay composed."

"Remember, we don't know the whole story yet. No sense panicking too much until we hear more."

"If Monika even decides to tell us," Natsuki said.

"She will," Sayori said. "Hey, I have an idea. Let's all sleep in the same room tonight."As soon as she spoke, sections of the wall folded down and revealed two new beds in Natsuki's room.

About a half hour later, Yuri was reading a book with the aid of a small lamp on her new nightstand while Natsuki slept. Before she started to drift off, Sayori made her tablet device appear in her hands and began to write.

 _Monika,_  
 _This is not news that any of us wanted to hear, but you did the right thing by telling us. If Rob had stopped writing without an explanation, that would have been hard. Please tell us when you know more, even if it's bad news. The uncertainty isn't good for any of us, especially Yuri._

 _I don't want to be too hard on you this time because I'm sure you're suffering already. I hope that if nothing else, this inspires you to grow up a little bit. You've been able to spend so much time with him and we're still here, so I don't understand why you would still be jealous. Please snap out of it, for your own sake as well as his. If he pulls through, consider paying us a visit. We won't be able to resolve all of this through writing. Plus there will be cupcakes._  
 _Sayori_

The batch of cupcakes that Natsuki had baked tonight still hadn't been iced, but that wasn't anything to worry about. It might make a nice distraction tomorrow. She allowed herself to fall asleep, hoping for better news in the morning.


	18. --Housekeeping Update--

Hey everyone,

I apologize that this story has slowed down so much, especially at a fairly suspenseful moment. I do intend to keep working on it, I've just had a lot going on for the past couple of months.

My intention is to finish this car accident story arc in another two chapters or so and then there will be a time skip in order to catch up. The story was meant to unfold over a year, but we're in July now and the Houseguest is still somewhere around late April.

At that point, a new arc will start that will feature Monika prominently along with another character who has already been briefly introduced. Can anyone guess who? And the other Dokis will have an important role to play before this ends. I hope you'll be patient with me and keep reading.

Thanks! Hopefully the next chapter will be up in a week or two.


	19. Chapter 18: Wake Up

_"_ _I am a dead man…who dreamed of staying alive….but now the dream is ending."_

A faint sliver of light pierced through the darkness of the ruined convenience store. Rob heard faint noises in the background but couldn't quite wake up, similar to his rare but very unpleasant experiences with sleep paralysis. Shaking off his increasingly bizarre inner monologue, he finally stirred when much more light flooded into the room and he found himself being hoisted off the ground. A few ceiling tiles and chunks of broken wood fell off his back and onto the floor.

"Ugh."

"You okay?" someone said. Rob turned to see a man dressed in heavy duty firefighting gear with barely any exposed skin. The most notable accessory was the gas mask.

"I'm not dead?"

"Nah," the man said. "But you were out cold. Your friends are outside waiting. Can you stand?"

Rob tentatively placed his shoes flat on the ground. He nodded and the firefighter released him.

"You're going to want this," he added as he passed Rob a small mask. "That smoke is still thick out there. It's got dust and crushed metal and jet fuel and God knows what else."

Rob said nothing and put on the mask. It wasn't particularly comfortable. Hopefully he would be able to make his way far enough uptown to be away from the smoke. But now he had to walk out the door into an eerie hellscape that had once been a busy city street. That horrible fog was still there, all right, and the world seemed to have a highly unnatural gray tint.

"What the fuck is happening?" Rob asked, almost to himself.

"We're under attack," the firefighter answered. "Down in DC, the Pentagon got hit too."

 _"_ _What?!"_

"Yeah. Can you make it from here? I've got a lot more people to find."

"Oh sure," Rob said. "Thanks."

With only a brief nod, the man rushed back into the cloud of smoke. It occurred to Rob that all these years later, he still didn't know if his rescuer had lived or died on that day.

Wait…years later? Rob suddenly felt dizzy and stumbled down the sidewalk. There was some clattering noise and lights seemed to streak across the sky. After a few seconds, it faded.

"What the hell was that?"

Finally, one of Rob's friends caught sight of him and the group made their way uptown. Although the air was still thick with the smoke, Rob could see enough of the skyline to notice that both towers were gone now. The other one must have fallen sometime while he was out. He couldn't imagine how many had died in the last two hours, but the news channels would eagerly fill him in on all the specifics later.

Eventually the smoke dissipated and they wandered back into their dorm rooms, too dazed to even notice the crowds of chattering college students on the streets and in the hallways. Rob got a look at himself in the bathroom mirror and gasped. Although he had avoided most of the dust, enough had settled on his face to make it look like he was wearing a Japanese kabuki mask. Pulling off the mask and seeing the darker patch of skin underneath made it even weirder.

After washing his face, Rob and his roommate Joe spent most of the day on their respective computers, answering dozens of messages on AOL Instant Messenger from people who had been watching the news and were worried sick. Rob declined to go into details about the ordeal and just assured his family and friends that he was alive and (mostly) unhurt.

That evening, he stared at the ceiling and was unable to fall asleep. Sleep wasn't imperative, since classes had been canceled for the next week, but he was still agitated. Joe was still on his computer as Rob sat up in bed.

"I don't think I can comprehend what happened to us today. It's like it just doesn't compute."

"I know what you mean," Joe answered. "The world we live in now isn't the same as the one we lived in yesterday."

"If I ever get to sleep, I'm dreading that first moment when I wake up. When I realize that it was real. That the World Trade Center is gone and thousands of people are dead. And we could have been dead too."

Rob glanced over as he waited for a response but Joe wasn't sitting in the chair anymore. It was Monika. He wasn't sure how he knew this girl, but he did.

"Wake up."

"It's not a dream!" Rob protested. "It wasn't a dream! It really happened!"

Monika nodded patiently. "I know it did, love. But it already happened once. You're alive and you need to come home."

"Why am I alive?" he asked. "The people who died did great things…or would do great things if they had a chance. But why did I survive when I've failed at almost everything I've ever tried? I've let everyone down, everyone who once thought I was a smart kid who would go far. This should have been the day I died, this-"

As he had been talking, Monika got up out of Joe's chair and walked slowly towards him. She interrupted him with a kiss and he found himself slowly falling backwards onto the bed and slipping into unconsciousness.

"Ah, you're awake."

Rob was still in bed, but definitely not in his college dorm room. There were machines quietly beeping nearby. He softly put a hand to his face and realized he had bandages on. Someone was sitting at a nearby desk typing on some kind of laptop. He wore a white coat with a tag hanging from the pocket. It read "Dr. Edward Stephenson."

"We had to sedate you," the doctor said. "You were delirious and raving when the ambulance brought you in. None of us could figure it out right away, but just before we gave you the sedative, I figured it out."

"Figured what out?" Rob asked. His voice was weak and hoarse.

"You were talking about September 11. You're a survivor, aren't you?"

"Ugh, don't call me that."

"Why not?"

"Because," Rob said, before stopping to think it over. "Millions of people were in the city that day who survived. It's nothing special."

The doctor shrugged and went back to his laptop. Rob slouched back into the hospital bed and let those memories sift through his consciousness for a while longer. He hadn't thought about it so directly in a long time.

"That was seventeen years ago," he said. "How can that be? How did I ever get so old?"

"Watch it," the doctor said. "I've got a few years on you, so you're not old. Your wife and sister have been waiting to see you. Should I bring them in?"

Sister? That must have been Monika. He looked at the doctor and nodded.

Hours earlier, Monika sat on the living room couch staring out the window. Nicole the babysitter had managed to get the boys to sleep and was now sitting next to her. It was a little surprising that someone she had just met that evening was now holding her hand while she trembled with anxiety and fought off tears, but for the moment Monika was grateful.

Finally, Kate's car pulled into the driveway. Monika rushed out the front door.

"What's happening?!" she shouted, barely able to speak without breaking into sobs.

"The ambulance came and he's on the way to the hospital," Kate said. "I think he will live, but he was so shaken by the whole thing that he's having some kind of PTSD flashback or something. It was scary."

"We're going to the hospital now, right?"

"Yes," Kate said.

Monika looked back at Nicole, who was waving from the doorstep. "Don't worry. I'll be just fine."

She went back inside as the car left the driveway and headed towards the end of the street. Kate turned right and began heading on the town's main road. This was actually the same road that Rob had been hit on, but Monika didn't realize it until they drove past the pizza place that still had the totaled car in the parking lot. She saw it and gasped, and then turned to Kate.

"Can't we drive any faster?"

Kate shot her an awful glare, the one Monika hadn't seen for a while. "If you had seen the condition he was in, you would never want to drive fast again in your life."

"Sorry," Monika said, chastened. That didn't stop her from thinking about other ways to persuade Kate to speed things up. She couldn't take any more of this waiting. She glanced at the stereo and got an idea.

"Does Rob ever listen to his music in this car?"

"Yeah," Kate answered. "He keeps his Ipod in his car and usually has a few CDs he keeps in here. Why do you ask?"

Monika began examining the small pile of CDs underneath the stereo and behind the shift. She knew what she was looking for and smiled briefly when she found it. Kate glanced over and saw that she had picked up a CD labeled "Eurobeat."

"Oh no," Kate said. "Eurobeat is probably what got him _into_ this mess."

"Well I can't just sit here," Monika said. "I need a distraction." She also had an ulterior motive, but wasn't sure if it would work. She slipped the CD into the player and the first song was one she knew - "Power of Sound."

As was the case with a lot of these songs, it began with a slow buildup.

"Don't resist it," Monika said to Kate. "Accept the power."

"Jeez, you sound like him."

Kate fought it for about thirty seconds, but when the song hit its first big crescendo, she couldn't resist anymore. Sure enough, the speedometer began climbing. The exact amount of minutes the music had reduced the drive by couldn't be determined, but eventually the hospital came into view.

Rob had once said he hated hospitals but this one turned out to be quieter than expected. It was likely because they were using the main entrance rather than the emergency room which would surely be more chaotic. Kate led the way to a desk and gave Rob's name to the woman sitting there.

"You family?"

"Yes. I'm his wife and this is his sister."

"Fourth floor, room 414."

After a short ride on the elevator, they wandered through the crowded corridor examining the number on each door. They found the room just as a doctor was leaving.

"How is he doing?" Monika asked frantically.

"Who are you?" the doctor asked back.

"I'm Rob's sister," Monika said, following Kate's lead.

"He's been sedated for a while but he should be waking up before too long."

"So…so he's gonna live?" Monika asked.

"Yes," the doctor answered. "All the blood and the fact that he was in shock made everything appear much worse. That said, he certainly took a beating. He injured his anterior cruciate ligament in the left knee. It's very common with this type of accident. The knee slams into the car dashboard upon impact."

"What else?" Kate asked.

"He suffered a mild concussion, which usually doesn't happen if you have airbags in the vehicle so I was surprised to see that."

"It probably happened when he fell in the parking lot," Kate replied.

The doctor raised his eyebrows. "He left the car in his condition? That's a really bad idea, he must have been totally out of it."

Kate looked around nervously. That had been her idea.

"There were several lacerations on his face as a result of debris in the car. Nothing too deep, but I recommend a tetanus shot just to be safe. Oh yes, there was one more surprise. His left ankle is sprained in two places."

"That wasn't from the accident," Monika said. "He fell out of a tree this morning."

"Oh. Well, he won't be in any trees for quite a while."

"Can he walk?" Kate asked.

"Probably not without some assistance."

"So…crutches?"

"I think a cane or walking stick should be enough. We'll also put a small brace on the ankle. Nothing huge, he'll be able to wear it with his shoes."

"Can we see him?" Kate asked.

"I'll let you know when he's awake."

Monika was not particularly happy to be stuck waiting yet again, but at least she knew he was alive. She would be able to make things right. About a half hour later, the doctor walked out and informed them that Rob was awake.

Kate walked towards the room and turned. "Are you coming?"

"You go first," Monika said. "I'll go after."

She went in and Monika sat down on a nearby chair. It was hard to wait even longer but this was the only way she could think of to make sure she had a few minutes alone with Rob. Kate couldn't be there for what she needed to say. She had nothing to fear, but she still wouldn't be happy to hear it.

Some time later, Kate finally came out. She was clearly upset but was putting on her most stoic face.

"Are you okay?" Monika asked.

Kate just nodded and Monika went into the room. She saw Rob propped up on a pillow in the hospital bed with a blanket obscuring most of his injuries. His face was bandaged but she noticed a few scattered red dots which must have been dried blood.

Monika rushed towards the hospital bed and wrapped both arms around him. "I'm sorry," she said through tears.

"I'm sorry too," Rob said. He sounded so weak. Monika felt his hand gently touch the back of her head. She had spent so much time holding back her feelings to avoid causing trouble for the family, but she couldn't do that anymore.

"I don't hate you. I could never hate you. I love you so much." As she said this, Monika kissed his forehead, his cheek and finally his lips. It was all so quick he could barely react.

"Wow," he said. "I'm getting a lot of kisses tonight. Maybe I should do this more often."

He had nearly died tonight and yet he still made jokes. She gave him a strange look and he responded with a weak laugh. "Just a joke. I just…wanted to make you smile."

"You make me smile every day," Monika said. She started to cry again and rested her head on his chest. "I was so scared. I was scared that you would leave me and my last memory of you would be awful. Let's never fight again."

"Okay."

She looked up at him with a silly grin. "We should ask the doctor if we can take home whatever drugs they've been giving you. You're much more agreeable than usual."

He gave her a warm smile and then passed out. Monika gave him one last kiss on the cheek before she left.

"I love you," she whispered.

Monika walked back out of the room and found herself overwhelmed by tears again. She tried to hold them in but it was no use. Kate walked over and hugged her. Monika reflected on the strange kind of solidarity they had as two women who loved the same man.

Kate must have been thinking something similar. "You really love him, don't you?"

"Yes," Monika said softly. "But you don't have anything to fear."

"You don't either," Kate said back. "You'll have a place in our family for as long as you want it."

Now that Rob was asleep, the two of them decided to head home. The doctor said Rob would be staying for one night but could probably leave the next day.  
As soon as the boys were dropped off at school the following morning, Monika and Kate drove back to the hospital. Rob was awake but seemed distracted.

"What are you thinking about?" Monika asked.

"Believe it or not, September 11. I haven't thought about this much in a long time."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Kate asked. Even she had never heard the whole story.

"Yeah," Rob said after a pause. "I think it's time."

The girls got comfortable in their chairs and Rob told his story.


	20. Chapter 19: A Deal

Monika knew Rob was feeling a little bit better when they presented him with his cane. It was a simple black one that had a four-pronged tip on the bottom for better balance.

"This is my cane?" Rob asked. "This has no character."

"What are you talking about?" Kate asked with a combination of amusement and exasperation.

"I want something cool. One of those canes with like a metal eagle's head on top."

"Jeez," Kate sighed.

"You'll have to get that at a store," the doctor said. "Why don't you use this one for the time being?"

It was a long trip down the hospital hallway to the elevator as Rob tried to adjust to using the cane. When they left the hospital, he flinched and covered his eyes with his arm. Monika had expected this. After they got home the previous night, she had been reading about his injuries on the internet and learned that sensitivity to light was a common symptom of a concussion.

It took some research on Kate's smartphone, but the three of them did manage to find a store where a suitable cane could be purchased. Just as he said, Rob picked one out with a silver chrome-painted eagle's head on the top. He looked like a child who had just gotten a new toy.

The next stop was the car repair place where the ruined vehicle had been towed. The three of them approached the mangled car in somber silence. In the light of day, the damage was even more striking. It was amazing that Rob had walked away (well, maybe that was the wrong word) from this alive.

He must have been thinking something similar. "I know I'm banged up pretty bad, but this car did its job. The airbags and the seat belt probably saved my life."  
Rob rested his hand briefly on the bent front hood of the car, almost like he was saying goodbye to a pet about to be euthanized.

"So what happens now?" Monika asked.

"Well, this car won't be doing any more driving so the insurance company will go over everything and decide what we get for it. It won't be enough for a new car, but it will be something. For now, we're just here to grab a few things that are still inside."

Rob leaned forward, clearly planning to bend over and reach inside the car. Kate stopped him immediately and he sighed lightly at the reminder of his limited mobility. A few minutes later, the documents from the glove department, a few stray papers and trinkets and of course his beloved Ipod (which had thankfully survived the impact) were extracted.

Back at the house, Kate went out in the back to start some spring cleaning. Rob had mentioned her gardens in the past and now that winter finally seemed to be over, Kate would put in a healthy amount of hours pulling weeds and putting down new dirt. Rob sat on the couch with the cane resting next to him on the cushion. He stared out the window without saying anything for some time.

"Everything okay?" Monika asked, sitting down next to him.

"Yeah. I was just thinking about your future."

"My future?" Monika asked, slightly incredulous. "After everything that's happened, you're worried about me?"

"Why would I think about my future? This is my future for the time being," he replied, holding up the cane.

"I'm sorry."

"Oh, it's okay. There are advantages if you think about it. This happened right before lawn mowing season and now I won't be able to do that. Lots of chores I can't do, actually. Plus, nobody will be on my ass about getting a better job for a few months."

She laughed and learned her head on his shoulder. "You're so lazy!"

"It's not lazy if I have a good excuse," he said mischievously, before getting to the point. "You've been able to live here without much trouble, but as far as the bureaucracy is concerned, you don't exist. If you ever want your own place or your own car or even to travel somewhere on a plane, we're going to have to figure that out."

"What do I need?"

"A birth certificate and a social security card are the big ones," he answered. "If you have those, then it's not so hard to get stuff like a driver's license or a passport."

"But I wasn't really born," Monika said. "Not in the typical way. What would we do?"

"That's what I'm thinking about," Rob said. "If there is a solution, it's probably back inside the game."

Monika felt a small twinge of panic. She had devoted so much energy to escaping her old life and wasn't in a hurry to go back, but he might have been right. There was someone who might have a better idea.

 _Sayori,_  
 _Rob came home this morning. He will need to use a cane for a few months and an ankle brace (that was actually from falling out of a tree, not the car accident). He's on a lot of painkillers for his left knee and the concussion. At least the cuts on his face don't look so bad anymore now that he's cleaned up. I still feel really upset about the whole thing but I'm so releived he's safe and I know you all will be too. The boys came from school and were so cute when they saw him. I think they knew something was really wrong even if they didn't know what._

 _We had an interesting conversation about what I should be doing to prepare for living here permanently. I don't have a driver's license or social security or anything like that and without those, I might be living in Rob and Kate's basement forever. There are worse things, but I do sometimes think about traveling and I would need some identification to get anywhere beyond a reasonable driving distance._

 _Rob thinks we would need your help to pull this off. Even though it makes me a little nervous, I think he's right. Would you be willing to help? Rob would do most of the coordinating so you wouldn't have to keep talking to me._  
 _I hope you all are okay, I miss you._  
 _Monika_

 _Monika,_  
 _Thank you for letting us know. Last night was hard on all of us but all of us cried with relief when we read your message. I wish we could come by with cupcakes and tea, but we're not at that point yet. For now, here's a get well card I made using some pictures of us. Please show him, okay?_

 _About your other topic, I'm not super excited about it but I think we can come to an agreement. I'll help Rob try and piece together some personal documents for you, but in return I want you to help me. I want a detailed description of how exactly you got out of here. It's okay if it takes a while, I figure it was really complicated and might be hard to put into words. But I want to meet Rob. That's my price. I'm trusting you._

 _Take care,_  
 _Sayori_

 _Sayori,_  
 _I accept your terms. You're right that it will be difficult to recall all the details of how I got here, but I can tell you the first step. Rob removed me from the characters folder and onto his computer's desktop and from there I had access to an incredible amount of information. So if you want to try it yourself, at some point Rob will need to move you as well. You'll have to find a way to explain that to Yuri and Natsuki._

 _He loved the card, especially how you used the costumes he gave you. I wish you wouldn't keep dressing up in that Princess Peach getup. Do you know who she is? If you did, you might not be so eager to dress like her. I'll put it this way. Even if Kate weren't in the picture, I'd still have to compete with her._

 _Rob's not feeling so great today. Even though it's been a few days since the accident, the whiplash is just starting to kick in and his shoulders are really sore. I was surprised it took so long but I did some reading and it turns out that's fairly common. His knee also bothers him sometimes when he has to walk around the house. He's putting on a strong front but I know he's having a difficult time. I hate to see him in pain. It must be hard for you too, being so far away. It's almost like his brother in New Zealand. When he's feeling better, he'll be in touch with you._  
 _Monika_

The whiplash only lasted for about a week and a half, but it will be much longer before Rob's knee and ankle recovered. Monika was fascinated by how he adapted to his injuries. Most people would likely be frustrated to be less mobile but Rob actually seemed to thrive. He looked perfectly content reading books on a variety of different subjects or catching up on movies he had planned to watch. He was an intellectual in a society that didn't seem to have much use for intellect and now he had a break from the constant pressure to pursue a path that wasn't necessarily right for him.

This peace was only during the day, however. For the first three nights after he came home from the hospital, Rob abruptly woke up in the middle of the night screaming. It was so loud that Monika could hear it from the basement. Finally Kate suggested he take his painkillers at night so that he would sleep heavier, something he had been reluctant to do out of fear of not being able to function the next morning. Kate pointed out that his injuries had already made him too slow to keep up with Andrew and Lucas during the typical busy mornings and that seemed to make him feel better.

Things settled into a quiet rhythm for the next few months. The remaining snow left over from the long winter melted and Kate's garden began growing in earnest. The two women spent a lot of time outside tending to it while Rob sat nearby in a lawn chair. Monika also had to make another trip to the clothing store as that heavy winter coat became more and more impractical.

On the first truly hot day of the spring, Monika came upstairs with a tank top and shorts. It wasn't sleazy or anything, but it was easily the least amount of clothing she had worn since arriving here. Upon seeing her, Rob seemed to be a little hot and bothered. Monika would be lying if she said it wasn't what she was hoping for. Part of her wanted to sit on his lap and kiss him, but Kate was in the other room and she wasn't sure if his injured leg was ready for something like that.

Rob and Sayori talked often, working out the details of how Monika could obtain the documents she would need for a real life. For her part, she was doing her best to recall the complicated investigating she had done while floating around the large world of Rob's computer, but it was slow going. Those memories were hazy and it was only through intense focus that she began to remember some details. Thankfully, Sayori had been patient as the weeks went by. During one private brainstorming session, Monika looked up at the calendar and released it was June 1.


End file.
